Is love enough?
That
depends on what you are giving up?
9 years ago, Laura Ashley heiress
Ms Angeline Francis Khoo married the love of her life in a modest wedding
costing only £1500. They now live in a modest 2-bedroom apartment in
Paddington.
No one from her side of the
family came to her wedding. She only had 30 guests, and here's why.
Her husband, Jedidiah Francis, is
a data scientist with a doctorate in statistics from Oxford University and a
first-class degree in biology and business management from Queen Mary
University.
But all that was not good enough
for her tycoon father, Tan Sri Khoo Kay Peng, who owns lifestyle brand Laura
Ashley and the Corus group of hotels, and is rumoured to be worth about £200m.
Oh, did I also mention that
Jedidiah is from the Caribbean islands?
So, when Tan Sri Khoo found out
about whom his daughter was dating and her plans to marry him, he gave her an
ultimatum, that is, choose Jedidiah and lose your inheritance or dump him and
keep your inheritance.
She chose Jedidiah and never
regretted her decision since.
For perspective, this is what she
is giving up - Her family lived a lavished lifestyle with estates in Malaysia,
Australia, Canada and Britain. "One of these was the £30m Rossway Park
estate in Hertfordshire, which had a 15-room mansion and two lakes on its 405ha
ground."
Nevertheless, Angeline said:-
"I've been fortunate to have
that perspective - you can have money and it's a blessing. It allows you to do
things, and gives you options, but there are also things that come with it,
such as control. Money amplifies negative characteristics and that can cause
problems. To walk away from that was actually very easy. I didn't even consider
it."
It should be noted that
Angeline's mom, Pauline Chan and her father recently went through a bitter
divorce and she was awarded £64m from the ugly split.
Further, Angeline is the fourth
of five adult children. Her older brother has Tourette's syndrome, and her
older sister and younger brother are on the autistic spectrum.
Angeline and her other brother
took care of their three siblings since birth.
In the bitter divorce
proceedings, it was revealed that her father refused to provide any financial
support for her three siblings who needed help, thereby forcing them to apply
for welfare assistance.
She said: "(My father) told
me he expects them to work and support themselves because that's what men
do."
Lesson? Just one.
After 9 years of marriage,
Angeline said that her husband is "brilliant, kind and has strength of
character."
I have been wondering, what is
strength of character? What does it mean to have strength of character as a
father, a husband, and a believer?
But first, let me preface by
saying that I believe whether you are rich or poor, you can have strength of
character.
It is not something that the rich
are denied or deprived of. In fact, the fact that they are rich, making many
right corporate/strategic decisions, and persevering to reach their goals,
shows they possess strength of character, to some extent.
But to me, the strength of
character that Angeline talks about (regarding her husband Jedidiah) goes
further than that. It means much more than persisting for a material goal.
You see, wealth, power and fame
are no guarantee of strength of character. Neither is poverty a sure sign of
the strength of character.
However, one quality that stands
out whenever one describes another as having strength of character is love. In
riches or in poverty, love makes the enduring difference.
Simply, to love regardless, in
spite of and without ceasing, demonstrates undoubtedly the strength of one's
character.
A mother's love, a couple
celebrating their golden anniversary, and a father dedicating his life for his
children show the strength of character led and undergirded by a love that
never gives up.
And if God is love, then as a
believer, to love the way Christ loved, to give the way Christ gave, and to
live and overcome the way Christ overcame is what it means to have strength of
character.
Love in a marriage is
transforming the way mindless acquisition of wealth, fame and power will never
be. While the latter takes possession of you, that is, your time and your
personhood, love sets you free from the competing anxieties and egos of this
world.
And while the love of money and
the envy and bitterness of poverty entrap you, the liberty of love empowers
you. It enlarges your heart to give, and make room in your soul for gratitude,
for joy and for contentment that nourish deep within.
Rousseau once said that "man
is born free, and everywhere he is in chains. One man thinks himself the master
of others, but remains more of a slave than they are."
Love indeed frees us from the
slavery of our own possessive desires, and allows us to give of our life as a
husband, a father and a believer for others just as Christ did at Calvary.
These three declarations before
Jesus heaved his last breath totally redefined love for me.
"Forgive them, for they know
not what they do." Love indeed keeps no records of wrong. Love forgives
because only through forgiveness is one released to grow even deeper in love.
"Father, into your hands, I
commend my spirit." Ultimately, love is about sacrifices. No greater act
characterises love than the giving of one's life for another. Jesus remained
faithful to his covenant with God, in the same way those who love the way He
does remain faithful to the covenants they promise to uphold. For a husband, it
is into the hands of marriage he commits his spirit. For a father, it is into
the hands of parental bond he commits his spirit.
And "It is finished."
Love never gives up. Regardless of the trials of life, love overcomes. It
brings to completion what it sets in its heart to accomplish. And for Christ,
it is to give of Himself without looking back.
For there is no greater freedom
than to be defined by a love that always put others above yourself.
For where is thy sting - death,
where is thy fangs - greed, where is thy claws - lust, and where is thy hold -
pride, when we embody love and live in simple devotion to a life dedicated not
to please ourselves, but our loved ones, our community and even occasional
strangers.
Indeed, we free ourselves when we
free ourselves from ourselves, that is, our insatiable appetites. And love is
the key that unlocks all that.
So, is love enough?
Well, in a world of endless
cravings and striving for things most viscerally tangible but impermanent, love
is truly enough.
Love
in fact transcends. Love is longsuffering. Love waters a lifetime like a fresh
spring. And love completes humanity. Cheerz.
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