When
the Centre for Fathering told me one month ago that they plan to make a video
based on what I wrote three years ago entitled "Walking my girl to school, walking with her for life", I was pleasantly surprised.
The
first question that came into my mind then was: "It's just a morning
routine lah, what's so special?" That was my honest thought.
In
fact, I was not doing it alone. Other parents were doing it too. From every
race, from every background, many parents accompanied their kids to their
primary school.
If
we parents are the gatekeepers of their little life, then every morning by the
school gate, or by every school gate in Singapore, you will witness many
heart-felt exchanges between parents and their children.
Here
are some of the exchanges I sometimes witness in the morning.
There
was a mother who to me was more than a gatekeeper to her daughter. She was also
a coach, a cheerleader and an entertainer all rolled into one.
Despite
her child's tears, and refusal to enter the school gate, the mother would
patiently assure her. She would hug her repeatedly, assure her she will come to
fetch her back, and tell her jokes to distract her.
Another
regular sight was a father who rode on the e-bike to school. His son was his
pillion rider, a very cute boy with charming manners - if I may say so myself.
This
was the same father whose teenage son recently collapsed when playing
basketball in school and sadly passed away.
Yet,
despite the pain, which I can only imagine, he faithfully fetched his younger
son to school. Now, that's one paternal devotion I hold in high regards.
My
point is that there is always this special meaning for parents when we take our
kids to school. Our presence, even in silence, reminds them that we will always
be there for them when they need us.
We are like the guardians of their little galaxy
before they grow up one day and become guardians of their children's own little
galaxies.
But
let me just add that it doesn't have to be a walk to school. It could be
anytime spent when we are alone with them; that special bonding time.
It
could be anything from the most routine to that which takes months to plan.
I
sometimes date my son out for a movie, or take my daughter out to buy ice-cream
after dinner.
Some
fathers I know do even more like bringing their kid to a five-day camp, to
overseas missionary trip or for a staycation. These moments spent remind us
dads of our sacred responsibility we have over our kids.
Now,
back to the Centre of Fathering video. I realised that that's exactly what is
so special about fatherhood.
It
is the routine activity we engage with our kid that nobody sees. And every such
ordinary moment eventually adds up. It adds up to that defining moment to make
the routine special, the ordinary extraordinary, and the moments transforming.
So,
below is the video about one of these defining moments. I hope it moves you the
same way it moved me.
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