When Adam Sandler
repeatedly placed his hand on actress Claire Foy's thigh in an interview on The
Graham Norton Show, with Claire politely taking his hand away, is Adam a sexual
harasser?
He was criticised
for that, but Adam defended his actions by saying that it was a friendly
gesture and he had done the same with Dustin Hoffman in the Jimmy Fallon Show.
Today's Straits
Times talks about a counter-movement of the #metoo movement.
It has pulled in
Actress Catherine Deneuve, who "joined more than 100 other Frenchwomen on
Tuesday in arguing in a public letter that men should be free to hit on women,
and denouncing the #metoo campaign against sexual harassment as
"puritanism" fuelled by a "hatred of men"".
Mm...we are
"free to hit on women"...?
One must
understand, this is France, the torchbearer of the French Revolution chariot
led by the Enlightenment, and the breeding ground for international liberal
order.
Now back to the
letter...
One part of the
letter reads: "Rape is a crime. But insistent or clumsy flirting is not a
crime, nor is gallantry a chauvinist aggression".
Another part reads:
"This expedited justice already has its victims - men prevented from practising
their profession as punishment or forced to resign - while the only thing they
did wrong was touching a knee, trying to steal a kiss or speaking about
intimate things at a work dinner or sending messages with sexual connotations
to a woman whose feelings were not mutual."
What is most
provocative in this movement is that it raised the challenge that "a woman
can, in the same day, lead a professional team and enjoy being the sexual
object of a man, without being a 'promiscuous woman' nor a vile accomplice of
patriarchy".
But what is
disconcerting for me is how the Frenchwomen in this movement defines sexual
freedom.
It reports:
"The philosopher, Ruwen Ogien, defended the freedom to offend as essential
to artistic creation. In the same way, we defend a right to pester, which is
vital to sexual freedom."
Now I know there is
a lot to process here.
Is the #metoo
movement getting out of hand, an overkill, overreaching, becoming vindictive,
overly misogynistic, and sweeping perverts and innocent flirters into the same
bin of sexual predators?
Or, should we do
what the French do, live a little, enjoy life with some well deserved
self-indulgences, even if it means being flirtatious with the opposite sex
because the opposite sex views it as a form of complimentary gesture affirmimg
their self-worth and self esteem?
Recall, it is okay
to hit on someone and the freedom to offend is excusable. And some people may
find it a compliment when we view them as a sexual object.
So, if you have it,
flaunt it with carefreeness? And if you don't have it, well, don't be too
sensitive about it?
Lesson...?
Alas, what lesson
can we ever learn here when even adults, like kids, are living in a world
partly of their own creation and partly as a result of an emergence (convergence)
of innumerable factors and values clashing together that are more complicated
than what we adults can pinpoint, isolate and remedy?
Undeniably, there
is such an onslaught of libertarian and postmodern values against the timeless
values that we traditionally hold dear in our hearts, until a stage or point
where we no longer recognise what is right or wrong anymore, or what is good
and what is bad for us and our children.
It seems that the
liberal phrase "Do as thy wilt" applies more to ourselves than others,
and when the others do as they will, we criticise them for being too self
centered, vindictive, prejudicial, one-sided and misguided.
Self-awareness may
be fast going extinct in our society.
I guess I can't
sieve through much of a lesson here this morning except for an incident my wife
told me about returning from school with my girl who is 12 years old.
My wife and
daughter was with her classmate, a Malay boy. The boy was with his mother. They
were walking together in a carpark.
At this time, a car
was approaching, and the Malay boy immediately held my girl's shoulder and
pulled her away from harm's way.
After that, the boy
turned to my wife and daughter and sheepishly said, "sorry." His
mother then came over and apologised too for the inappropriate conduct.
The boy felt that
he shouldn't have touched my girl. But my wife tried to explain that it was
alright as he may have just save my daughter's life. He was merely being
protective, without any thought for himself.
My point?
Sometimes you learn
more from kids than the adults.
Putting aside the
two movements above, I learn from the boy's actions the timeless values of
chivalry and selflessness. The latter virtue is self-explanatory, and chivalry
is definitely not dead.
From a 12-yr-old, I
learn that it is definitely not right to hit on women. On the contrary, we must
be like him, chivalrous in protecting a woman, her modesty and all. It is also
not alright to express your freedom to offend others, but to care and show
concern for them instead.
And although the
apology is not necessary from the boy (and his mother), I also learned that one
(regardless of age) must always come from a position of humility and respect,
and not from a position of making wild presumptions and taking liberties of
another.
A world that
operates on the values of that little boy as seen from his actions is a world
that is surely a better place for all.
For
it will be a world that chooses to exercise her freedom to put others first
before self, respect and protect another's modesty in all circumstances, and
always stand from the position of humility and integrity. Cheerz.
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