A life in time - Kobe Bryant.

I am no basketball fan. I can’t even throw a ball into the hoop at most attempts. But what Vanessa Bryant wrote about her husband and daughter was something intimately felt, and I could identify with it, deeply. 

“...we are completely devastated by the sudden loss of my adoring husband, Kobe - the amazing father of our children; and my beautiful, sweet Gianna - a loving, thoughtful, and amazing sister to Natalia, Bianka, and Capri.”

I only have two takeaways from Vanessa’s heartfelt words of grief and gratitude. 

She said: “There aren’t enough words to describe our pain right now. I take comfort in knowing that Kobe and Gigi both knew that they were so deeply loved.”

I always believe grief sharpens and deepens our humanity. It makes us press pause and think, at times, to change course, and take stock of what we have.

I believe our busy lives keep us from being grateful for the little things that matter most. When you strive to travel faster than light, everything around you is a blur. 

Achievements can dehumanise us. It can preoccupy us. It can reduce others (especially our loved ones) into a means for our own ends. 

We thus become blind to what is enduringly meaningful, and our focus (or obsession) turns to getting the ball into the hoop instead of enjoying the company that fights along side us in the game of life. 

So, when I am gone, what matters ultimately is how I have lived. And Vanessa’s words apply equally to me: “Can I take comfort in knowing that those whom I profess I love dearly knew that they were so deeply loved”? 

And let me always be reminded that, life is about closing the gap between the words from our mouth and the deeds from our heart. 

This leads me to the second takeaway. 

“We were so incredibly blessed to have them in our lives. I wish they were here with us forever. They were our beautiful blessings taken from us too soon. I just wish I could hug them, kiss them and bless them.” 

I always wonder, how do you reconcile a life with forever? Well, I believe the only way you can reconcile it is to treasure forever in the impermanence of everyday with loved ones. 

I believe gratitude fills in this gap for me.

Being grateful makes every blessing beautiful. 

At times, I am guilty of longing (with discontentment) to provide more for my loved ones only to realise that such preoccupation only draws me away from them. 

Alas, that is life’s bitter-most irony, because the greatest gift from me is what money can’t buy, that is, my time, my attention, and my presence.

Let me end with the words of William Blake. 

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand 

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower 

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand 

And Eternity in an hour.”

And when I can hold infinity in the palm of my hand and eternity in an hour, I will then know deep inside I have truly lived a life my loved ones will remember forever.