Perfection's Myth

Religious authority abhors a vacuum of imperfection. This means that whenever  a pastor, an elder or a deacon stands before the scrutiny of his congregation, it can be confidently presumed that he is as close to perfection as perfection entails. The impression given is that the integrity of the leadership is unimpeachable, unreproachable.

Somehow, ministers of God are presumed to exhibit the embodiments of perfection and to show any thing less to their flock is greatly frowned upon. This is the facade of perfection in the church; it is unfortunately an unnecessarily heavy burden placed on the leadership.

AA founder, Bill Wilson, once said, "The problem with organized religions is their claim how confoundedly right all of them are." I think we all must realize that trying to be perfect is the most tragic human mistake. Where are the "broken shepherds" and the "wounded healers"? For every success story we hear, isn't there at least ten or more failures we don't hear? 

How many of us, church workers, pastors, deacons, and counselors, are willing to admit that we are victims of our own striving to be perfect? That we are living in a Janus-face of contradictions. Broken yet enduring it; torn inside yet smiling outside; lost yet pretending found; and in pain yet denying it. 

CS Lewis once said, "A true Christian's nostril is to be continually attentive to the inner cesspool."

We hide behind the veneer of perfection, hoping that out flaws would be hidden from public view. It is tragic that our faith becomes our cover-up, our hope becomes a mirage and our ministry becomes our own private rehab clinic.

Philosopher Blaise Pascal wrote, "Christianity is essentially a confession of irreparable human infirmity...sickness is the natural state of a Christian."

Is sin inevitable? Are we human? William James, a philosopher and psychologist, once said to the effect that to be human is to feel at times divided, fractured, and pulled in a dozen directions. He called it "torn-to-pieces

Why can't we embrace helplessness, powerlessness and woundedness the same way we embrace success, fame and wealth? Is there a stigma to failure? Isn't success a necessary misfortune and it is to the really unfortunate that it comes early in life? 

I recall a saying that kindness is the ability to bear the vulnerability of others and in turn we bear our own vulnerability. We are all fractured beings. And without the love of God to piece us together, however imperfect the adjoining cracks are, we remain fractured beings.

Didn't Jesus say, "...a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out"? Didn't Psalms 51 say, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you will not despise." 

My prayer at times is this: Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.

Sometimes, I feel like a smoldering wick and it is the gentle cover of Jesus' palm that kept me from fading away. He also kept me warm and secure. Swathed in His love, I slowly crawl out like a helpless baby into His open arms. 

My flaws are many. And my failures still haunt me. And to stay grounded, I always remind myself that "in order for me to enter heaven, I must first convince myself that I deserve hell."

"The murderous rage of Cain, the despair of Noah, the grandiosity of Abraham, the bitterness of Sarah, the unworthiness of Jacob, the insecurity of Moses, the lust of King David; they are all in me," wrote Rabbi Irwin Kula.

Let me end with this passage retold by Anthony de Mello in the book One Minute Wisdom:-

"One of the disconcerting - and delightful - teachings of the master was: "God is closer to sinners than to saints." This is how he explained it: "God in heaven holds each person by a string. When you sin, you cut the string. Then God ties it up again, making a knot - and thereby bringing you a little closer to him. Again and again your sins cut the string - and with each further knot God keeps drawing you closer and closer.” Cheers.