Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Marriage meets adultery

What are the causes of adultery? (Dr Yap, my de facto(r) internet mento(r))

Here’s how I would reply to it, hang on.

The causes of adultery are a wandering mind, an unsettled heart and an aimless soul. Adultery happens in the mind before in reality it unfolds.

It involves three parties in fact. Three weird hands to clap. How unnatural, yucks? How unfathomable, shucks!

One pastor pins it down to opportunity and time. Given both at play, most men (and women) will just fall away.

But opportunity, time and even loneliness are all outward signs of a marriage most passionless. It is one thing to be alone and faithful. It is quite another to be lonely and ungrateful.

My solution, if there ever was one. It would be this cheeky suggestion, bar none. And mind you, this is controversial. So pardon me and read at your leisure:

"If you have to commit adultery, then go ahead. Make it a date. Do it with pride. Make it a wild ride.

Do it all the way. Do it everyday. But do it with your WIFE. Go ahead, try her for size.

Yes, commit "adultery" with her. Make it a night to remember. Make every night a one night stand. Your wife, your number one fan, and you her hitchhiker friend.

Make your marriage a novelty. Make it a mardi-gras-like festivity. Make her your fantasy. Dress and undress her to your "lustful" fancy.

She is your partner not just in name. She is yours for life and you the same.

So, go ahead and commit adultery.

Because if your wife is also your mistress, all rolled into one;
Your marriage will not just be of interest, it will be a lifetime of love and fun!" Cheerz.

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