Can God leap over the wall?

"Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable." (C.S. Lewis, “A Grief Observed”). 

I recall this unanswerable question a believer is often asked: "If your God is omnipotent, can he build a wall so high that he cannot leap over?" 

Mm...I can imagine 33 different replies to that "wall so high" question. Strap up and here goes...

CS Lewis:

Nonsense! Poppycock!

Theologian:

Who's leaping over? The Father, the Son or the Holy Ghost?

Hindu priest:

I have about 330 million deities...it will take eternity to decide which one.

Catholic priest:

The Pope is way too old for this.

Muslim:-

I prefer to stone it.


Orthodox Jew:

Isn't that the wailing wall?

Protestant:

I think I can nail my protest on the wall and piss it off big time.

Anglican:

Well, I’ll consult the Book of Common Prayer to see whether there is a prayer for it.


Methodist:

I'll just wait here for the next rotation and you can ask the new guy.


Evangelical:

Mm...should he jump over on the right, on the left or do it in a progressive manner? 


Charismatic:

Sure, nothing is impossible for my God. But first, I need a few days to set up the sound system and the lightings, rehearse with the band and choir, and then blitz the neighborhood with tracts.

Puritan:

He might jump over. But he’s not having any fun doing it.

Scientologist:

There's no wall...it's all in the mind.

Liberal Christian:

There's no wall...it's all a matter of interpretation.

Unitarian Universalist Pastor:

Which wall? They all look the same to me.

Gay Pastor:

What wall? I thought we tore it down recently.

Dalai Lama:

I see only the great wall...and it's only getting higher.


Prosperity Pastor:

Mail me the seed money of US$400, and I will say to this wall of yours, "Be thou cast into the sea".

Megachurch Pastor:

If you donate enough money to the church, we can Crossover the wall.

Radical Grace Pastor:
For you, God will leap over a thousand walls.

Religious fundamentalist:

I'll bomb the wall down! That’s what I’ll do.

New Age Practitioner:
In the ocean of oneness, you see a wall. I see infinite energy.

Spiritualist:
(whispers)...did God's spirit just tell you to ask me to answer that question...?

Mormon:

I’ll ask my wives to form a pyramid with me at the top. Then, I’ll jump over.

Moonie (Unification Church):

Our Father is a leader, businessman, social activist, media mogul, the messiah, and the second adam...the wall is nothing to him. (And he’s also dead at 92).

End time preacher:

I might just be taken up...mid-air.

Street Preacher:

Repent now...for the wall will fall on you tomorrow!

Calvinist:

If I am the elect, the wall will bend over for me.


Arminian:

If there's a will, the wall will make a way.

Deist:

I will ask him when he returns...if he returns.

Agnostic:

Erm...do you have proof of that wall? Something tangible?

Atheist:

Imaginary wall?

And finally...

Buddhist:

Eliminate the desire and the wall will disappear.

Cheerz.

* Image from creativemarket.com.