Sunday, 27 September 2015

Can God leap over the wall?

"Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable." (C.S. Lewis, “A Grief Observed”). 

I recall this unanswerable question a believer is often asked: "If your God is omnipotent, can he build a wall so high that he cannot leap over?

Mm...I can imagine 33 different replies to that "wall so high" question. Strap up and here goes...

CS Lewis:
Nonsense! Poppycock!

Who's leaping over? The Father, the Son or the Holy Ghost?

Hindu priest:
I have about 330 million will take eternity to decide which one.

Catholic priest:
The Pope is way too old for this.

I prefer to stone it.

Orthodox Jew:
Isn't that the wailing wall?

I think I can nail my protest on the wall and piss it off big time.

Well, I’ll consult the Book of Common Prayer to see whether there is a prayer for it.

I'll just wait here for the next rotation and you can ask the new guy.

Mm...should he jump over on the right, on the left or do it in a progressive manner? 

Sure, nothing is impossible for my God. But first, I need a few days to set up the sound system and the lightings, rehearse with the band and choir, and then blitz the neighborhood with tracts.

He might jump over. But he’s not having any fun doing it.

There's no's all in the mind.

Liberal Christian:
There's no's all a matter of interpretation.

Unitarian Universalist Pastor:
Which wall? They all look the same to me.

Gay Pastor:
What wall? I thought we tore it down recently.

Dalai Lama:
I see only the great wall...and it's only getting higher.

Prosperity Pastor:
Mail me the seed money of US$400, and I will say to this wall of yours, "Be thou cast into the sea".

Megachurch Pastor:
If you donate enough money to the church, we can Crossover the wall.

Radical Grace Pastor:

For you, God will leap over a thousand walls.

Religious fundamentalist:
I'll bomb the wall down! That’s what I’ll do.

New Age Practitioner:

In the ocean of oneness, you see a wall. I see infinite energy.


(whispers)...did God's spirit just tell you to ask me to answer that question...?

I’ll ask my wives to form a pyramid with me at the top. Then, I’ll jump over.

Moonie (Unification Church):
Our Father is a leader, businessman, social activist, media mogul, the messiah, and the second adam...the wall is nothing to him. (And he’s also dead at 92).

End time preacher:
I might just be taken up...mid-air.

Street Preacher:
Repent now...for the wall will fall on you tomorrow!

If I am the elect, the wall will bend over for me.

If there's a will, the wall will make a way.

I will ask him when he returns...if he returns.

Agnostic: you have proof of that wall? Something tangible?

Imaginary wall?

And finally...

Eliminate the desire and the wall will disappear.


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