"Please
keep trusting people because society is still beautiful. Please give your
dearest family members a hug. That would be the most comforting and caring
thing you could do for me." This was the message of the mother, Claire
Wang, whose daughter was brutally killed in public in a random attack by a
33-year-old.
In one cruel
stroke, Wang Ching-yu, "grabbed the child from behind and decapitated her
with a cleaver as she was riding a bicycle near" her mother.
But while
some are calling for his execution, Claire called for calm. She said,
"This is not a problem that can be solved by passing a law, I hope we can
address the problem at its root, from the perspective of family and education,
so that there will no longer be people like him in our society."
Taipei mayor
remarked on Facebook: "The mother's calmness and perseverance were
admirable and heartbreaking."
Lesson? Just
one. I recall after 911 terrorist attack, a fireman was asked how he dealt with
the mindless carnage around him, and he said, "Focus on the rescuer."
This is
exactly what Claire did. She focused on what is most redeeming about humanity,
that is, our capacity to love and to forgive. I believe what makes us human is
not so much our brilliance in technology or innovation. It is not even how far
we as a species have come in exploiting nature to serve our survival and
prosperity.
People like
the fireman and Claire and the many unsung "rescuers" who live their
lives quietly giving of themselves to their loved ones and to others show us
what it truly means to be the ceaseless candle in the wind.
Their light
will always shine brighter than the surrounding darkness because they
consciously choose the road less traveled. It is no doubt a road that induces
one to the greatest resistance because it is so easy (or natural) to lose our
head and heart and rebel against society with hatred, bitterness and
unforgiveness.
However, it
is also a road of the greatest overcoming whereby at that crucial crossroad of
pain, suffering and torment people like Claire went against the grain of what a
jaded society considers as natural and drew upon the resources of love,
understanding and hope to urge all to move forward. She said: "I believe
the suspects in these kinds of random killings lose their minds at that
moment...I have never believed that hatred and recrimination can solve
problems."
I too
earnestly believe that life is a journey and in this journey God allows us to
be human. And to be human is to be open to all experiences and to grow with
them. The pain, disappointment and betrayal will come like regular guests to
life's many inns. We can thus choose to close our heart's door to them, shut
them out, and hide in the hermitage of ourselves.
Or we can
gradually allow them in, one guest at a time. We can sit with them and listen
to their message. And I believe if you take the time to unravel them, each of
them carry a message of hope, healing and growth. This is not a feel-good
message. It is on the contrary a heal-well message.
I guess we
all resist the healing process because letting go and letting God always means
that we are letting off the one who hurt us too lightly. But we often forget
that by letting go, we are not so much releasing the wrong done to us by
another.
We are
however releasing the bitterness and hatred that seek to consume and transform
us. That is the one thing that stands in our way of full recovery and growth.
Alas, life's greatest tragedy is to go to our grave with clenched fists instead
of open palms
Let me end
with the words of a psychiatrist who had his share of life's sorrows. He was paralyzed
by a traffic accident when a big wheel went off the road and landed on the top
of his car, crashing his spine.
He said that "we
are all born square. But we die round." And dying "round" is to
return full circle to where we first started and to see life not as an
obsessive abuser or a petulant taunter, but always as an abiding teacher. That
change of perspective is always empowering and transforming. Cheerz.
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