I write about
love and yet wrestle with self.
I write
about joy and feel so jaded.
I write
about peace and am still anxious.
I write
about hope and am no nearer to seeing the light.
I write
about patience and the next moment, I lose it.
I write
about fatherhood and I can only count the disappointments.
I write
about eternity and yet I struggle with momentariness.
I write
about meaning but I see the glass half empty.
I write
about kindness and is provoked by the slightest.
I write
about contentment only to be consumed by envy.
I write
about faith and struggle with doubt.
I write
about overcoming and the only thing overcame is my better self.
I write
about endurance and all I've ever done was to endure.
I write about pain and my
words fell short.
I write
about suffering and suffering pays me no heed.
I write
about marriage and hear the wedding bells just faintly.
I write
about the prosperity preachers and they're laughing all the way to the bank.
I write
about God and hear only pin drop.
I write about life and I don't think I am any
wiser.
Then, I
realize words without action is dead just like hope without passion is fake.
And
in all my ponderous writings, I have forgotten to live and to live with
courage, to live fully, and to savour my words experientially.
I also realize
that words alone cannot bridge the gap or fill the void.
Words alone is not a
substitute for living.
For how can you describe in earnest an inexpressible
moment of
joy,
hope,
peace,
love, and
faith without living them out fully,
deeply and even madly?
Alas, I
strive to fit every word on a page,
To make every sentence flow,
And to end
with a bang.
Yet I've neglected to fill every moment of my life with
a touch,
a hug,
a smile,
a kiss,
a sweet
lingering,
a quiet
celebration,
a sincere
apology,
an
encouragement,
an enduring
repentance, and
gratitude
for blessings bestowed.
So, for a
start, I shall make living a wordless adventure.
I shall fill every blank page
with a life well lived.
I shall complete a chapter of living before I complete
it in writing.
Then and only then shall I return to the world of words.
And my god,
what a world it will be!
A world
where words come alive in and through me.
A world
where I am wiser and free.
A world
where life is not just about sentences.
It is about
experiences.
And by then, I will know
why God did not stop at giving His word.
He gave His only Son too.
For His
word became flesh.
His word lived with us.
His word empowers us.
And is
complete in us.
Cheerz.
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