I write about love and yet wrestle with self.
I write about joy and feel so jaded.
I write about peace and am still anxious.
I write about hope and am no nearer to seeing the light.
I write about patience and the next moment, I lose it.
I write about fatherhood and I can only count the disappointments.
I write about eternity and yet I struggle with momentariness.
I write about meaning but I see the glass half empty.
I write about kindness and is provoked by the slightest.
I write about contentment only to be consumed by envy.
I write about faith and struggle with doubt.
I write about overcoming and the only thing overcame is my better self.
I write about endurance and all I've ever done was to endure. I write about pain and my words fell short.
I write about suffering and suffering pays me no heed.
I write about marriage and hear the wedding bells just faintly.
I write about the prosperity preachers and they're laughing all the way to the bank.
I write about God and hear only pin drop. I write about life and I don't think I am any wiser.
Then, I realize words without action is dead just like hope without passion is fake. And in all my ponderous writings, I have forgotten to live and to live with courage, to live fully, and to savour my words experientially.
I also realize that words alone cannot bridge the gap or fill the void.
Words alone is not a substitute for living.
For how can you describe in earnest an inexpressible moment of
faith without living them out fully, deeply and even madly?
Alas, I strive to fit every word on a page,
To make every sentence flow,
And to end with a bang.
Yet I've neglected to fill every moment of my life with
a sweet lingering,
a quiet celebration,
a sincere apology,
an enduring repentance, and
gratitude for blessings bestowed.
So, for a start, I shall make living a wordless adventure.
I shall fill every blank page with a life well lived.
I shall complete a chapter of living before I complete it in writing.
Then and only then shall I return to the world of words.
And my god, what a world it will be!
A world where words come alive in and through me.
A world where I am wiser and free.
A world where life is not just about sentences.
It is about experiences.
And by then, I will know why God did not stop at giving His word.
He gave His only Son too.
For His word became flesh.
His word lived with us. His word empowers us.
And is complete in us.