I am glad that some things we do don't make sense. I am
glad that at times when it matters we are largely irrational.
At such times, we do not care if our decision adds more
work and less pleasure to our life. More importantly, we do not care if our
actions have consequences that burden us even more and leave us with worries,
anxiety and uncertainty.
Koh Ming Hao ("Ming"), just a day
after his 34th birthday, died last Thursday, and Straits Times chose to
remember him in today's paper.
He had fought with terminal cancer
diagnosed 4 years ago and "barely a year after marrying his long-time
sweetheart (whom he met and dated when they were 15)" he passed away.
But Ming never gave up the fight. It
reports that in his battle with cancer, he met with other cancer patients,
"shared his experiences, and helped and encouraged them."
He still lived his life as any normal
person would, despite losing weight, as he continued to work, travel and
exercise.
His wife, Daphnie Chong, 34, decided to
walk down the aisle with him one year before he passed away in Aug last year.
She said, "I couldn't leave when he
was at his lowest...I wanted to be with him every day for the remainder of his
days."
In economics term, she had made an
irrational choice as her decision would probably at that time lead to a certain
morbid outcome. It would be a grief so deep that she risks never recovering
from it.
Yet, Daphine added, "He will always be
in my heart. He will always be the best boyfriend and best husband to me."
Lesson? Just one. And it's about love. That
mushy word the stoic heart and the tear-less refuse to mutter, even underneath
their breath, for fear that it would soften their image or make them look weak.
But sometimes, love is all we have and it
is enough to make the difference, and to make the experience not just
empowering, but unforgettable. And at such time, love is really all we need.
I shall therefore not shy from rendering a
simple and sincere tribute to love in this consumption-driven world.
They say love counts the costs. She does,
but her calculus operates in reverse from what the world's logic would dictate.
Love pays no heed to price tags. She is not
discouraged by labour, for joy is her labour of love. Love looks not to
immediate gratification. She is not obsessed with self.
Love sacrifices, and no cost is too great
for her. Love hopes too, even in the face of uncertainty and doubts, even when
it seems irrational.
Love yearns for every second spent, and
does not take even a fraction of it for granted.
As such, I am blessed in life not by the
material that one so easily salivates over. But I count my greatest blessing
from witnessing love in action, in Ming's and Daphnie's life, and in the life
of my late brother-in-law and his wife, who like Daphnie, stuck with their
childhood sweethearts to the very last breath.
Alas, it may be a short journey with love,
you may lose all with love, and you may even struggle physically and mentally
together with love. For love brooks no easy path for the beholder, that's for
sure.
But love is, without fail, always
transforming. Love's rewards are beyond the economics or the rational. You
can't incentivise love, or entice her, with gifts, promotion or property.
Love is her own reward, and to love, and
savour it, but for that moment and that moment alone, is far better for the
soul and spirit than to have never loved before, or at all.
Money may no doubt make the world go round,
together with power and fame, but love, the kind that sacrifices herself for
another, takes the soul out of the endlessly spinning world and transforms him
or her beyond what the world can ever hope to do or achieve.
Alas, the world drives us to our bone, but
it never quite satisfies us in our soul. It is thus a soulless pleasure.
But love drives us from the heart, and it
quenches our deepest longing for connection, for meaning, and for joy
inexplicable. It is thus a soulful miracle.
Let me end with Daphine's own words to the
love of her life:-
"Hi everyone, am heartbroken to inform
everyone that Ming has ended his journey peacefully at mid-night...thank you
for all the love and support through his toughest journey. Till we meet again,
babe."
...and love never fails. Cheerz.
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