God will make a way?....what if I had a conversation with God on this and it goes something like this….
Me: Dear God, you said you’d make a way for me?
God: Yes son.
Me: How? When? What way Lord?
God: It's a will. I will make it for you.
Me: So I won't know it now, right now?
God: You have enough to go by son.
Me: But that's easy for you to say Lord. You know how it ends. I don't.
God: Do you really want to know how it ends?
Me: Well, it would really help. At least I won't worry that much. At least I can plan for other things.
God: Ok, if you must know, it doesn't matter to you.
Me: Erm...you mean the end...it doesn't matter?
Me: God, I don't understand. I am going through tough times, and it doesn't matter?
God: How then does it matter to you son?
Me: Well, for starters, I may lose everything I have fought so hard for...my status and hope. My friends will leave me. My life will fall apart. It sure matters to me Lord.
God: Mm...it seems like you already know how it will end.
Me: (squints) Lord, you know I don't know how it will end. But that dreaded end is very real to me. Where is the way you're making for me?
God: Son, the way I am making for you involves only you. Your status, your fortune, they are not part of it.
Me: Wait a minute...this way you talk about...is it not to save me from the impending doom like you did for Moses and Daniel? To restore me like you restored Job? To make me the head and not the tail like you promised your people?
God: Well, you are right about them. As with them, so it will be for you and for all who put their trust in me.
Me: But, all of them are leaders in their own rights. All have become rich, powerful and renowned. Look at King David, for God's sake. Sorry...so, so then, where is this way you have for me Lord?
God: Son, my way is not the way of the world. It is the restoration of the soul and not wealth. It is the increase in strength and not power. And it is a change of heart, not a preservation of or increase in status. They may come or they may not, but that's not my way for you.
Me: Ha...hold that thought. I really need to read the fine print here Lord. When you say you will make a way for me...are you saying that I may just end up worse than before? I may lose everything I hold dear? I may be left with nothing to my name? Nothing that defines me in this world? I become unrecognisable to all?
God: Son, you're right to say that you need to read the fine print, but you are wrong to imply that it is a bad thing.
Me: But...but the way I see it, if it is anything short of a full deliverance before the levee breaks, it's a bad thing Lord. It's bad. If I am going to hit rock bottom, and that is the way you are making for me, then it really doesn't matter right? It really doesn't. You're right, it doesn't matter to me at all.
God: (silent) Son, how long must you live in this delusion?
God: ...until that day you can let go of the things that matter to you and trust in the things that matter to me, you will never be free. It will still be your way and not mine.
Me: So, are you saying it's still a way that I will lose everything?
God: Does it matter son?
Me: Well, I would think so? Doesn't it?
God: Son, your wealth doesn't concern me, neither your fame nor possessions. The real tragedy of your salvation is that I may lose you if you lose yourself in those things of no eternal value.
Me: But if you deliver me Lord, restore me and bless me even more, I will give back to you manifold, without hesitation. I will serve you with all my heart. That's gratitude right? Radical grace?
God: No son, that's a trade, a transaction, a market bargain. I am the creator of the heavens and the earth, not your wishing well.
Me: I know that Lord. That is why I ask you to make a way for me.
God: No son, you are asking me to fulfill your expectations, to do your will. You have done that long enough and are living with the consequences of your own choices. It's called free will.
Me: Okay Lord, tell me your way? I am listening.
God: (pause) you know the story of the Rich Young Ruler?
Me: Wait, you're asking me to disown everything I own.
God: I am asking you to turn all that you own into all that you owe. From ownership to stewardship. For you will never be free if what defines you is what you can't let go in this world.
Me: (pause) So...Lord, your way is a change of heart from being an owner of all to being a debtor to all?
God: Is that a sudden dawning I see?
Me: And nothing that I own in my name and recognised by law in this world is considered mine...I am as good as a debtor to all, for a debt I can never repay. A debt that Christ paid in full instead.
God: (nods) Go on.
Me: That's why the Rich Young Ruler can never make it through the eye of needle because his heart is weighed down by the affairs and things of this world. He is enslaved by the ownership of his own possessions. He can't imagine living without them.
God: Yes. Do you understand now?
Me: (nods) In that case, it really doesn't matter then. You are right Lord...wait, of course you are, you're God after all. And it doesn't matter not because I will lose everything, but because there is nothing to lose since in you Lord, and you alone, I have everything.
God: Yes, and that way has been made for you. It's the same road Christ took to Calvary. It's the narrow way that will ultimately save you from yourself, from the things that you cannot let go.
Me: I see…Lord, it's a lot to take in at one go, a lot to process. I need time to reflect.
God: (smiles) That's the price of bearing the Cross son. Go and give it some thought. Meditate on it.
Me: I will Lord. It's after all my choice, free will, like you said. And I hope after meditating on it, I do not walk away disappointed like the Rich Young Ruler, but instead be transformed, eventually. For I really can't lose what I don't own...it really doesn't matter in the end.
* Image from "wallpapercave.com".