Monica NUS expose.

Nicholas Lim, by now that name should be familiar to many, said this in an exclusive interview with Joyce Lim: -

"I want to say that I have been and still am truly sorry for what I have done. Nobody should ever be put through the kind of trauma that I caused Monica. People have condemned me and my actions - I deserve it. I condemn myself. I seek everyone's forgiveness.”

Nicholas added: “And I resolve to work on becoming a better person; to be someone that my parents will not ever be ashamed of in the future."

Now, the question is, is he for real? Is Nicholas going to learn his lesson? Can forgiveness be extended to him for the trauma he has caused to Monica? 

Surely, what he has done is rightly and swiftly condemned. Yet, how about the person? Should he too be condemned? 

That really depends on who you are asking? 

After the infamous incident in November last year, Nicholas confessed to his parents and he said: “My dad is a taxi driver and he works very hard. I can tell he is worried sick," 

"There were definitely moments where I felt I could no longer hold it together, but I was lucky to have the support and encouragement of my family, friends and even strangers who have kept me going.

”They were angry at what I did. They were also willing to let me redeem myself - had the faith and belief in the person that I am, to be able to learn from my mistake and become a better person."

But, in another exclusive interview with Monica by Jolene Ang, she said that after the incident, she was “left feeling violated, disgusted, betrayed and above all confused as to whether she should make a police report.”

Her struggles with NUS and the police only made it worse. Their cavalier and dismissive attitude at the start only aggravated the pain and anguish for her. 

Monica said: “The weeks that followed the incident was hellish for her. "I didn't want to shower at night. I didn't feel safe. I didn't even know if he was still around.””

"I saw him on my Instagram - he was walking around like a free man, and the thought of seeing him on campus next semester, the thought that there might be a chance that he could re-offend, and that victim might be me again, crippled me.”

She added: "It's not just about the severity of the punishment. I didn't feel like NUS had meted out the right punishment to keep me and the rest of the student body safe."

But on that, NUS has come out to apologise publicly. The renown institution has done the right thing and said that they have failed Monica. That should not be all, and that was not all. 

NUS has also confirmed that they will be reviewing the “two-strikes-and-you-are-out” policy, and among other measures, will set up a victim support unit and boost campus security. 

As for the police and AGC, they have exercised their prosecutorial discretion on rehabilitative grounds when they gave Nicholas a conditional warning, and I don’t think they are going to budge on that.

It is their judgment call and that is enshrined in the constitution. It will surely not please everybody but it is something those who agree and disagree will have to deal with.

But whatever the agreement or disagreement, the online vitriol will have to cease for the sake of balance, sanity and recovery. 

Lesson? One.

This traumatic incident I feel has come to the close of one chapter and the opening of another. 

The next chapter is about following up in the tertiary institutions islandwide, that is, increasing awareness and security in campus, setting up support groups, taking a tougher stand against such actions, and reviewing archaic policies that lean towards manifestly lenient measures against perpetrators. 

Like Monica said, “I see a chance to get some real change and to make a difference, and I have to take it.”

And she has indeed made a difference, that is, a strong message like a resilient ripple has been sent out throughout society, and it has shaken and exposed the foundational presumptions of our nation concerning how the institutional leaders view such deviant acts and the weak measures against it. 

She also said: “The funny thing about sexual assault is that you feel ashamed about it, even though you've done nothing wrong. But now I feel freed of that burden. I'm not ashamed any more."

As for Nicholas, he said: “And I resolve to work on becoming a better person; to be someone that my parents will not ever be ashamed of in the future.”

As a flawed human being myself, who is also guilty of mischief in my younger days, my hope is that Nicholas will learn his lesson and change for the better. 

All my writings have always been about moving forward with remorse and personal transformation, and Nicholas in the days ahead will have a lot to do to make amends. Only time will tell whether his words are true to form and substance. 

On our part, we ought to take the wait-and-see approach, and not the see-and-whack reproach. 

And, in the meantime, we as a society have to move forward in positive and transformative strides, and every step thus far seems to be in that direction of healing, restoration and reconciliation.