William Wan knew that life has a way of turning things around if you do not give up.
He shared the most intimate struggle of his life with us in the papers today, entitled: “Fired? Take it as being re-fired in the kiln of life.”
It all happened 20 years ago when he was 51. He said: “I was in the prime of my chosen vocation in the not-for-profit sector.”
He recalled that he was “unceremoniously terminated” after three years of work locally. He had signed a five-year contract, which was extended to 10, only to be fired in three.
Up till today, the reason for that decision was “still enshrouded in mystery.”
That’s not all.
William was also accused of “no fewer than 31 allegations of misdeeds”. But he wrote that they were “immediately withdrawn after they were made known and found to be totally ludicrous.”
He said he could have sued for wrongful termination and defamation, but he withheld his hands. He said he chose not to prolong the pain.
The thing about William’s article is that he is viscerally honest, open and candid. He hid little of his personal angst from his readers.
He admitted, “Still, I was and am no saint.”
“I recall the feeling of shame, anger and bitterness. The thought of doing something violent did cross my mind, I must shamefully confess. That must have been my lowest moment. But thankfully, it remained a thought and lingered only momentarily.”
You must understand that he started his article with a news report “about a young man arrested for allegedly murdering his boss after he was fired a second time from his job last month.”
And that is why he related his own anguish in the open for all to read. He too harboured “violent thoughts.”
Apart from the sleepless nights and extreme stress and anxiety, William wrote, “I found myself grieving a deep sense of loss - the loss of my community and a personal death - feeling that something important to and in me had just died.”
To him, it was a deep betrayal. And the betrayal was from leaders who were his childhood friends. The thought that they “conspired to destroy (his) reputation was very difficult for (him) to accept.”
The tale however has an amicable ending.
He admitted that he “was able to accept the reality” and even conceded that he “must have contributed to the situation in the way (he) reacted to their high handedness.”
He said: “I decided to forgive anyway and that set the stage for some public apology and reconciliation 14 years after the firing. They reached out to me and I responded in kind.”
He added that one of the lessons he had learned was to always keep a positive mindset.
He said, “in my case, my positive mindset was sustained by my personal faith. I believe that good can come out of any bad situation. I am grateful that the firing turns out to be a re-firing process in the kiln of life, in which a useful vessel emerges from a slab of messy clay.”
“Fire or re-fired? It’s a matter of perspective. I chose and continue to see it as an opportunity to be re-fired and that changed my life.”
Lesson? Mm...
It’s monday, and two days later, it’s Labour Day. It is a day of rest and reflect. And Dr William Wan’s faithful spirit to overcome the valleys of his life cannot be a better start to refresh the jaded soul of the labour we give day in and out for our family and loved ones.
If you read his powerful testimony, he sums it up with these words, “we are all flawed humans”, “personal pain becomes less excruciating when shared with family and friends,” “we should practise forgiveness for our own well-being, freedom to move comes from the ability to forgive and be forgiven,” and “we must be ready to reinvent ourselves. There is life beyond our comfort zone.”
On reinventing oneself, William returned to becoming a lawyer and has been successful in his own rights, starting the kindness movement and receiving accolades and recognition for being an exceptional leader.
Alas, it just reminds you about that life-throwing-lemon aphorism, right?
Mind you, William did not just turn it into franchised lemonade stands for sale, he moved on in life and achieved even greater things that touched and moved many lives.
But what captured my soul in his testimony is that part about us being “a slab of messy clay.” William said that out of the re-firing kiln of life, he emerged a useful vessel handcrafted out of a slab of messy clay.
I can imagine the master potter at work here, molding and kneading us in every possible angle, compressing and packing it in, at times putting us back into the re-firing kiln, just so that the finished product would not only be life-transforming privately, but others-inspiring, publicly.
Mm...I always wonder, what is truly the gift of life. I trust it’s not just the time we are born. That may no doubt be a gift, but it is the second gift that transforms us permanently, completely.
That second gift of life is empowering because it shatters all the presumptions we have and hold about ourselves. It shatters our comfort zone. It shatters our arrogance and self-conceit. It shatters the belief in our own invulnerability. It shatters what we thought could never be shakened.
As a sidenote, we Christians always go on our knees in anxious prayer when our foundation is shakened only to discover that the one shaking it is none other than the fashioning hands of our master potter.
Likewise, this second gift of life is enduring and transforming because as William puts it, “I am grateful that the firing turns out to be a re-firing process in the kiln of life, in which a useful vessel emerges from a slab of messy clay.”
Indeed, what a refining vessel he is. The mishapen, unwieldy clay surrendered to the kiln’s fire, and in the anvil of faith and hope, he emerged stronger, better and most of all, with a heart of humility and charity.
That messy clay turns out to be the master’s masterpiece. Amen.
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