Who should teach kids to read?

“Who should teach kids to read: Teachers or parents?” 

That’s the headline for a report in the Straits Times, HOME section. 

But that’s not even the news - at least for me. 

It’s not about who teaches kids to read - teachers or parents. (Obviously, it’s both - but over time because each child is different). 

Before I get to my point, I have to say that the experience or encounter of former school teacher Ms Lenny Rahman, 34, is worrying. Here is her encounter.

She was the PE teacher for Primary 1 when she asked a pupil for help to read out the instructions from his textbook. 

To her surprise, Lenny discovered that the pupil struggled to read such simple words like “is”, “the” and “her”.

Of course, it is of some concern provided that the child has no special needs. I do not know the context here, but if assuming he is normal, I can understand Lenny’s reaction to some extent. 

She asked the pupil “who reads to him?” and he said: “My teacher.” Then, “What about people at home?” Lenny asked. The pupil replied that “his parents are usually at work on shift jobs, or asleep when they are at home.”

This is where Lenny flew off the handle when she made a deliberate choice to ventilate her frustration public in a FB post of what I call personal ranting. 

This is what she wrote with qualifier that she is not talking about children with special needs: -

“It baffles me that in this day and age there are kids in Primary 1 who do not know how to read...Busy working but you cannot spend time with your kids? Then why have kids in the first place?! Please, if you think you don’t have the means, there are these things called condoms and birth control. They’re cheaper than raising a child.”

One question before I comment...in the age of Trump, does it really pay to be politically incorrect? Is brazenness its own rewards? 

Where do we put human decency, particularly in the context of being an educator for 12 years? (Lenny was a teacher for that long teaching a whole range of subject from English, Science and Maths, and PE).

Now, honestly, Lenny has a point about being concerned about the inability to read simple words, but as a teacher, she lost the plot for me with her unplugged rant on FB.

Well, I still like to believe that there is such thing as you can be right, but at the same time, so wrong about it. 

You see, Lenny did clarify subsequently with this bottom line message: -

“They need to put in some effort if they want to help their kids break out of the poverty cycle or reach their fullest potential. “I’m not saying that it’s a parent’s responsibility to teach a child. If not, we teachers will be out of a job. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and if I’m the only villager then it will be very difficult.””

Lenny also said (or implied) that parents should not give excuses about holding down multiple jobs as they can always read with their children and read simple books for just 10 minutes a few times a week. 

You can see how her clarification shed more light into her defensible intention. 

But, despite all that, Lenny is putting on record that she stands by her initial FB post. She has no regrets, and that means she will not amend, retract or edit it.

That also means that the “bath water” of the absence of understanding and basic human decency in her rant that reads, “then why have kids in the first place?! Please, if you think you don’t have the means, there are these things called condoms and birth control. They’re cheaper than raising a child,“ are all thrown out together with the “baby” of good intention. 

At one point, she added that “if you decide to look at my post positively, not only will your relationship with you child improve, but your child will also benefit from it.”

Personally, I can see the positive side of her concerns. But as a 34 years old teacher at that time, and married with no children of her own, I hope she sees the negative side of it as well. 

You see, there are more ways than one to skin a cat and as a teacher, who has to work with parents on a proactive and regular basis to help her young and struggling students, I would expect Lenny to temper her words or post, especially when they can be read by hundreds, if not thousands (including parents). 

Senior principal of St James’ Church Kindergarten, Dr Jacqueline Chung, said that “it is important to engage parents in a sensitive manner, rather than lecturing them.”

And throwing in such words like “condom” and “birth control” and “they’re cheaper than raising a child” are uncalled for, counterproductive and just plain rude - especially for an educator. 

Lenny may be (relatively) young (at 34) but like she said (or implied) about not giving excuses about parents being too busy with work to read with their children, I felt that she too shouldn’t give excuses for making hurtful, prone-to-be-misunderstood, and rather unnecessary and thoughtless remarks about family situations that she may not totally or fully understand. 

Although Lenny is now a private tutor, I sincerely hope that she will reflect more about how to ventilate (maybe to loved ones in a more private setting if she has to), especially when her words can hurt and anger many when the same is made public.

Alas, you don’t need to apologise for saying the right things that people are too afraid to admit. But at the same time, you don’t give excuses to cover up or defend that which is plain insensitive and rude.

So, Lenny is right that it takes a village to raise a child - that is, school, teachers, classmates and parents alike - but it is a village governed by the principles of decency, understanding and graciousness, and not one led by hurtful words, insensitivity and division. 

And while the title of the news today is “who should teach kids to read: Teachers or parents?” It could very well also be a title about who should teach a teacher how to conduct herself in the public eye.