Life has a way of turning things around - William Wan's journey of life.

William Wan knew that life has a way of turning things around if you do not give up.

He shared the most intimate struggle of his life with us in the papers today, entitled: “Fired? Take it as being re-fired in the kiln of life.”

It all happened 20 years ago when he was 51. He said: “I was in the prime of my chosen vocation in the not-for-profit sector.”

He recalled that he was “unceremoniously terminated” after three years of work locally. He had signed a five-year contract, which was extended to 10, only to be fired in three. 

Up till today, the reason for that decision was “still enshrouded in mystery.”

That’s not all. 

William was also accused of “no fewer than 31 allegations of misdeeds”. But he wrote that they were “immediately withdrawn after they were made known and found to be totally ludicrous.”

He said he could have sued for wrongful termination and defamation, but he withheld his hands. He said he chose not to prolong the pain. 

The thing about William’s article is that he is viscerally honest, open and candid. He hid little of his personal angst from his readers. 

He admitted, “Still, I was and am no saint.” 

“I recall the feeling of shame, anger and bitterness. The thought of doing something violent did cross my mind, I must shamefully confess. That must have been my lowest moment. But thankfully, it remained a thought and lingered only momentarily.”

You must understand that he started his article with a news report “about a young man arrested for allegedly murdering his boss after he was fired a second time from his job last month.” 

And that is why he related his own anguish in the open for all to read. He too harboured “violent thoughts.”

Apart from the sleepless nights and extreme stress and anxiety, William wrote, “I found myself grieving a deep sense of loss - the loss of my community and a personal death - feeling that something important to and in me had just died.”

To him, it was a deep betrayal. And the betrayal was from leaders who were his childhood friends. The thought that they “conspired to destroy (his) reputation was very difficult for (him) to accept.” 

The tale however has an amicable ending.

He admitted that he “was able to accept the reality” and even conceded that he “must have contributed to the situation in the way (he) reacted to their high handedness.” 

He said: “I decided to forgive anyway and that set the stage for some public apology and reconciliation 14 years after the firing. They reached out to me and I responded in kind.”

He added that one of the lessons he had learned was to always keep a positive mindset. 

He said, “in my case, my positive mindset was sustained by my personal faith. I believe that good can come out of any bad situation. I am grateful that the firing turns out to be a re-firing process in the kiln of life, in which a useful vessel emerges from a slab of messy clay.”

“Fire or re-fired? It’s a matter of perspective. I chose and continue to see it as an opportunity to be re-fired and that changed my life.”

Lesson? Mm...

It’s monday, and two days later, it’s Labour Day. It is a day of rest and reflect. And Dr William Wan’s faithful spirit to overcome the valleys of his life cannot be a better start to refresh the jaded soul of the labour we give day in and out for our family and loved ones. 

If you read his powerful testimony, he sums it up with these words, “we are all flawed humans”, “personal pain becomes less excruciating when shared with family and friends,” “we should practise forgiveness for our own well-being, freedom to move comes from the ability to forgive and be forgiven,” and “we must be ready to reinvent ourselves. There is life beyond our comfort zone.”

On reinventing oneself, William returned to becoming a lawyer and has been successful in his own rights, starting the kindness movement and receiving accolades and recognition for being an exceptional leader.

Alas, it just reminds you about that life-throwing-lemon aphorism, right? 

Mind you, William did not just turn it into franchised lemonade stands for sale, he moved on in life and achieved even greater things that touched and moved many lives. 

But what captured my soul in his testimony is that part about us being “a slab of messy clay.” William said that out of the re-firing kiln of life, he emerged a useful vessel handcrafted out of a slab of messy clay. 

I can imagine the master potter at work here, molding and kneading us in every possible angle, compressing and packing it in, at times putting us back into the re-firing kiln, just so that the finished product would not only be life-transforming privately, but others-inspiring, publicly. 

Mm...I always wonder, what is truly the gift of life. I trust it’s not just the time we are born. That may no doubt be a gift, but it is the second gift that transforms us permanently, completely. 

That second gift of life is empowering because it shatters all the presumptions we have and hold about ourselves. It shatters our comfort zone. It shatters our arrogance and self-conceit. It shatters the belief in our own invulnerability. It shatters what we thought could never be shakened. 

As a sidenote, we Christians always go on our knees in anxious prayer when our foundation is shakened only to discover that the one shaking it is none other than the fashioning hands of our master potter. 

Likewise, this second gift of life is enduring and transforming because as William puts it, “I am grateful that the firing turns out to be a re-firing process in the kiln of life, in which a useful vessel emerges from a slab of messy clay.” 

Indeed, what a refining vessel he is. The mishapen, unwieldy clay surrendered to the kiln’s fire, and in the anvil of faith and hope, he emerged stronger, better and most of all, with a heart of humility and charity. 

That messy clay turns out to be the master’s masterpiece. Amen.

A hiao gene? LGBTQuestion.

“Do we have the hiao gene?” (“Hiao” as in Hokkien for vain). 

That’s what law don and activist Thio Li Ann asked. Here it is in full and in its context.

“I take the position that there is a degree of choice. Someone said you might have a genetic predisposition but we all know we don’t act on our impulses.”

“You could have the hiao gene, right? It doesn’t mean you sleep with every man you come across. There is some degree of control, some degree of choice. And yes, the social environment will condition it.”

Mm...after reading that, I wonder, is there a pai kia gene (Hokkien for gangsta)? That is, someone who is prone to becoming violent due to his inability to control his actions. 

Well, that said, it is quite proven that some of us have anger management issues (more than others). And it could very well be in the neuro-hardwiring. 

Our ability is control it is less than others who are born with better prefrontal constitution. 

And if you take a roll call in prison, you will notice that this violent gene is largely gender-biased too.

How about the adulterous gene then? Or, the greedy gene? The love-to-eat-nonstop gene? The holiday-addict gene? The lust-at-first-sight gene? 

Aren’t we a hotwired mishmash of genetic predispositions setting us up for a world of endless behaviourial possibilities upon birth when we interact with the epigenetically triggered social environment?

I guess the debate will go on like the Titanic song because one side will argue that predisposition is not destiny, (like Thio did), and another side will come back with the argument that whether it is destiny or not, it’s really none of your business.

And the follow-up on that side is this, don’t tell us what is right or wrong when you can’t even get your house in order, and you have since the one who had crucified on the Cross, that is, two thousand years ago, to get it right, but thus far, it is still so far from ideal. 

And if you claim to be work-in-progress, it’s time you change your “spiritual subcontractor” because the high penalty you have to pay for delayed righteousness personified as claimed is long, long overdue. 

Needless to say, the push-and-pull tug of war has always been tense and taut with religion being the main agent provocateur (as seen by some). And mind you, not any religion, but only lslam and Christianity. 

And the religious barometer here is section 377A. PM Lee noted that “both sides hold strong views, and in particular, many who oppose its repeal “do so on very deeply held religious convictions.””

He added: “I should therefore say that as a matter of reality, the more gay activists push this agenda, the stronger will be the push-back from conservative forces in our society.”

Alas, you can rest assured that when (or if) section 377A is repealed, both sides are going to dig their heels even deeper into their respective dogmatic trenches to wage a war of ideals that will see no end in sight.

The Christians are already digging their foxhole in preparation for a sturdy defence (or earthly offence) with these words from pastor Derek Hong. “It’s not a crusade against the people but there’s a line that God has drawn for us, and we don’t want our nation crossing that line.”

Actually, if you think about it, our nation has already crossed many lines. Some lines get away with it because of commonsensical economic justification.

Take the casinos for example. When you can’t beat them because such commercial activities bring in the tax revenue, employment for the masses, and attraction and world acclaim, you coyly redraw the line back a little to preserve your spiritual purity and defence. 

Other lines are blurred in the sand like criminalising adultery (where you are liable to be stoned to death in another era) because of cultural changes, the enlightenment movement, and our government’s secular balancing of various conflicting interests in the name of keeping the peace for one and all. 

And so, we are left with the gay line to defend - as Derek said, “we don’t want our nation crossing that line.” 

(And I know the good pastor meant it metaphorically, but we tend to overlook unintended consequences, and one of that is how different believers draw their own lines because spiritual authority is remarkably individualistic)

Here, I can imagine the last scene of Endgame where the Avengers on one side and Thanos’ stooges on the other side are clashing into each other in a epic fight to save and redeem humanity for the last time. 

But the difference is that for endgame, everybody throws their weight on one side. For the gay line, the society is clearly fractured and divided. 

And as a Christian, I was personally caught in the crosshair of the target (by my own camp!) when I decided to traipse across the line in an earnest attempt to understand the other side. 

You see, due to my so-called liberal writings about section 377A seven months ago, some believers are of the view that I have crossed over and should be shunned, avoided. 

Well, I can’t say that I am not a little pleasantly surprised about it, because I thought my writings were supposed to open minds, not close them. 

So, that is where we as a nation stands today. We are not just a fine country, but on some religious/social issues, we are also a line country. 

And no, I am not talking about line dancing where we all get together to have fun. But it is about a line that once you cross it, you run the risk of being considered as no longer one of us. Cheerz.

Aloysius Pang, a Service unto life.

The message is clear: Aloysius Pang had breached safety rules while performing maintenance duty. His death was preventable had he, a regular technician and his gun commander followed safety rules rigorously. 

That was the Committee of Inquiry’s investigation conclusion. 

Apart from Aloysius, according to the COI’s findings, the gun commander (and the regular technician) did a few things in breach. 

First, the gun commander “did not ensure the gun barrel was locked before starting maintenance work of replacing the interface card found in the cabin.”

He also continued to lower the gun while Aloysius was standing near the gun barrel’s end - albeit he did ask Aloysius to stand clear. 

And “when the barrel began to make contact with CFC Pang, the gun commander and regular technician panicked and responded “irrationally” instead of pressing the emergency stop button.””

At this point, the regular technician tried to “stop the barrel with his hands, while the gun commander tried to do so using the main control screen, but their actions did not stop CFC Pang from being wedged between the barrel and the cabin’s interior.”

That about clinically sums up the cause of death of our national serviceman, the 4th casualty since September 2017. 

What’s next then for the gun commander and the regular technician? 

Well, they are currently reassigned to administrative duties and, “if found to have been culpable, will be charged and punished accordingly,” said Defence Minister Dr Ng Eng Hen. 

I guess that’s all in a day’s work for our Army. The bottom line is, as Minister Ng said, it is preventable.

In Parliament yesterday, some good soul-searching questions were asked by the MPs. They asked whether there were any contributing factors, on top of the above breaches by the men. 

Was there time pressure? Was there any language barrier in understanding instructions when the barrel was lowered? Or, as Vikram Nair asked, if there was “anything to do as a system” to deal with the risk of human error? 

Minister Ng replied in the negative to the first two questions - no, COI found no evidence that time pressure contributed to the fatal accident. And no, no finding to indicate that Aloysius “took a longer time to understand that the gun barrel was moving towards him.”

In fact, on time pressure, Minister Ng was asked by NMP Walter Theseira “whether there might be any reasons why standard operating procedure for moving the gun barrel was not followed?” and Minister Ng replied that “the reason given was that they wanted to “get on with it”. They couldn’t wait for those few seconds.”

Lesson? One or two?

I recall when I was in the Army, I was often told that we are grown men now and Army boys don’t cry. Just do your part and time will pass by more quickly than you think. 

Alas, we offer our precious sons for National Service to defend the land, in anticipation of a time when they will have to make the choice of sacrificing their lives to protect those they love and those they don’t know. And we wish more than anything that they will return to us in one piece, more mature and polished, more disciplined and wiser. 

National service is a rite of passage for all Singaporean sons and it is something - when you have gone through with chin strap up and scars to show - you will grow to be proud of to have played your part with fond memories of buddies you befriended along the way.

And I believe the Army, Navy and the other Defence Forces are self-correcting, and self-reflective. Every life is precious to them, and they will do their utmost to keep our children safe. And in an ideal world, there will indeed be zero fatalities. 

Having said that, one death (or four within a short period) is heartbreaking to the deceased’s love ones and those who know them. 

Although the COI has done their part and it is time to move on, I also note that the reflective and self-correcting part of our Army is not content to let dead “safety-hazard” dogs lie. 

Minister Ng in fact implemented further safety measures to fortify the system to make it even more accident-proof. 

Now, “all crews of the Singapore Self-Propelled Howitzer (“SSPH”)...have to practise emergency stop button drills before operating the platform.”

I believe this is to counter the “panic” the gun commander and the regular technician experienced in their response to the barrel making contact with Aloysius. As the COI findings put it, they responded “irrationally”. Mind you, in panic, you’d recall the regular technician tried to use his bare hands to stop the barrel from crushing Aloysius. 

Second, “bold markings to indicate areas that are safe and potentially hazardous have also been put up in the SSPH.” 

I guess (in retrospect) this would in all likelihood have alerted servicemen like Aloysius and his crew to the danger of standing in harm’s way. 

And thirdly, “army technicians now have to go through a nine-step drill before their maintenance training and tasks so that any potential risks are reviewed, dry runs are conducted, and roles and responsibilities are clarified.” 

The rationale for this is that since maintenance is not high risk (or hazard) activities unlike when servicemen are undergoing field or on-site training, there is always a risk they could let their guard down during such times.

Maybe, that’s the reason why servicemen like Aloysius and his buddies wanted to (as Minister Ng puts it) “get on with it” and ”they couldn’t wait for those few seconds” to complete the task. 

Alas, this brings me back to what MP Vikram Nair asked earlier; “if there was anything to do as a system to deal with the risk of human error?”

Human error exists everywhere and anywhere. And if to err is only human, then to anticipate and prevent it can really save lives, especially lives of our Army boys who shouldn’t cry because they are grown men.

Let me end with this. How much does the tear of a father for his son worth? 

Well, he may not talk much with his son. He may even see his son less and less as he grows up. And they grow up fast. 

But, a father’s heart and love is universal; it is in fact irreplaceable. And the tears he shed for his son is heart wrenching, and most times, inconsolable. 

You can be friend to another for a season, however long, but you are always a father to your son for all seasons, forever.

I cannot imagine the pain Aloysius’ father went through when he buried him. But as a father, I can’t say I don’t feel an intimate part of it. I have no doubt our ministers felt it too. 

My point here is not to milk emotions, for grown men don’t cry. But I however lament over deaths that are preventable, and preventable in so many ways. 

I admit that as a father, I have seen my son done silly and dumb things in his youth. And as an adult, I am also guilty of committing the same. 

But, for my son, in his growing up years, I endeavour to be always there for him, to build his confidence, to give him hope, and to rejoice with him in his little milestones. 

Truly, it is the same wish all fathers have for their sons when they offer them up to the commandeering fathers of our nation for National Service or see them off for Reservist training. We also hope that our sons will be taken care of, protected and sheltered - because we can’t be physically there for them. 

At such times, we pray that they would not do anything silly. But at the same time, we also pray that the system, the wise stewards of it, would be there too like a father will be for his own son to guard against such silliness and even recklessness. 

If human errors abound, then surely the system’s carefulness ought to abound even more. 

And as we move forward in this sad chapter, it is hope that the tears shed by a father for his son would mean that such death will in the future be truly preventable. 

Because while grown men don’t cry, fathers often do, and their tears for their sons are priceless.

Is Joseph Prince a prosperity preacher?

This is not a straightforward question. JP has definitely preached about prosperity, restoration of your godly and rightful inheritance, and possessing your possessions. 

He has written about asking really big from God, and he was referring specifically to greater wealth, health, career growth and promotion. He even challenged his congregation to trust God and pray believing for bigger houses, cars and balance accounts during one of his church fundraising campaigns. And he has been called many names, both derogatory and praiseworthy, and one of them is, well, “prosperity preacher”. 

But, having said all that, JP is definitely not a one-dimensional pulpit charismatic phenomena. 

He is known for launching the grace revolution after a Swiss Alps, transfiguration-like encounter with the divine. He is a trailblazer when it comes to looking at radical grace from the original apostolic intention. His books on grace has spawned a condemnation-free faith industry for believers all over the world. And he is the lead shepherd of the biggest and richest megachurch in Asia, save for South Korea, donning a leather jacket and sporting an impeccable coiffure and a mediagenic smile. 

So, is JP a prosperity preacher? 

Well, that depends on your definition. And if you take Benny Hinn’s most recent definition of it, you will be struggling not to associate JP (at least for a season) with the stable of prosperity preachers in the likes of Kenneth Copeland, Jesse Duplantis, Robert Tilton, Ceflo Dollars, and his partner-in-faith Joel Osteen. And maybe Benny Hinn, in his not-so-distant past?

If you have not heard already, on Thursday, Benny Hinn claimed to have been transformed by a road-to-Damascus experience while travelling for decades on the glittering broad road of health, wealth and prosperity. 

Mind you, this is the same preacher who once proclaimed: “I’m sick and tired of hearing about streets of gold. I don’t need gold in heaven. I gotta have it now!”

So, now, he is denouncing all that. Forget about the gold and prosperity on earth. He is in a state of soulful remorse. He said he is troubled by such excesses and greed, such gimmickry and trickery. 

He rubbished the self-indulgent concept of “seed money” which he said were “financial donation to support the ministry or ministry projects” and ploys employed by prosperity preachers to pull in the funds and flood the church coffers at the expense of the struggling churchgoers who is himself tethered to the elusive religious promise of making it big one day.

He said: “What was troubling is the mentioning of amounts connected to some blessing that should come back just because you gave. I think it's an offence to the Lord, it's an offence to say give $1,000. I think it's an offence to the Holy Spirit to place a price on the Gospel.”

“I'm done with it. I will never again ask you to give $1,000 or whatever amount, because I think the Holy Ghost is just fed up with it."

He admitted that his ministry successes had in the 90s distracted him and “his teachings got out of hand.”

He added: "It just got out of hand; give a thousand to get whatever, a hundredfold. I, myself, said [those things] and my heart was saying different. What if that hundredfold never came back? What does that do to their faith? What does it do to his future and her future? And then, if it doesn't come, that life is damaged.” (underlined mine)

Benny Hinn also admitted that the prosperity gospel has “damaged a lot of people” and it “needs to stop.” He said: "I've had people come to me and say, 'please, don't say it again, it's not working in my life.”

This sudden change of heart and ministry direction has led the 67-year-old mercurial preacher to declare publicly that he now wants “to focus on the message of salvation“ and point people to the Lord he loves. (Well, I wish him all the best then).

At one point, he even lamented: "How long do I have on this earth? What am I going to do in the next twenty years? That is for me to decide. I want to make sure that the next 15-20 years of my life, that my message is the cross. The real call on my life."

"I want to be known for that. I don't want to be known as the prosperity teacher.”

Mm...this brings me back to JP as I come full circle. 

In 2012, in what is called Miracle Seed Sunday, JP took the stage at the Rock Auditorium and proclaimed: “As they come forth Lord to sow, release upon them Father the power to get, to create, to receive wealth in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.” 

He added: “Prosperity is right. Amen. We prosper to prosper others. We prosper to prosper God's kingdom, so come believing.”

That Miracle Seed Sunday in 2012 was for the expressed purpose of raising funds for the church's half of a S$976 million (HK$6 billion) retail and entertainment complex. And the great attraction of ”believing big and receiving even bigger” invited famous guests from the music industry like musician and producer David Foster, Chaka Khan and Babyface.

Is JP then a prosperity preacher when he spearheaded the Miracle Seed Sunday with promises dished out indiscriminately to the expectant crowd? In other words, is his pulpit spiel that day what Benny Hinn would describe as “gimmickry” and “an offence to the Holy Spirit to place a price on the Gospel”?

Well, while JP is not a one-dimensional preacher, giving credit where credit is due, what I find disconcerting about the Miracle Seed Sunday (7 years ago) is that the focus then was to portray God as one-dimensional, that is, you give, and pressed down, shaken together, and pouring over, will it be returned to you, manifold, even thousandfold. 

And that can only mean more wealth and health to everyone present, that is, everyone has a sure shot at striking it big provided they give big. Doesn’t that turn the house of God into a house of competitive giving, like the frenzy seen in the stockbroker's trading floor, thereby stoking the baser instinct of believers with its insatiable appetite, in the pretence of a religious celebration just to win that much coveted divine favour?

That reminds me of what one member said to Benny Hinn which the latter recounted: “I've had people come to me and say, 'please, don't say it again, it's not working in my life.” 

Recall that Benny Hinn also said he had made similar promises just like JP did, and it “got out of hand” and he now has the good sense to  come clean and say, “I, myself, said [those things] and my heart was saying different.“ And this is where he also came forward to admit this: “What if that hundredfold never came back? What does that do to their faith? What does it do to his future and her future? And then, if it doesn't come, that life is damaged.”

I wonder, whether JP, who is still preaching about prosperity in its varied excessive and indiscriminate forms, did a poll, interviewed lives, one family at a time, and tallied the results so as to verify, if not justify, his Miracle-Seed-Sunday-esque promises? For I believe our faith should not be based on the roll of statistical dice, but on the sure foundation of His shakeable truths. 

Now, let’s be clear, I am not against prosperity, there are promises in the Bible that talks about wealth and health. There are also wealthy Christians who are exemplary gatekeepers of the conscience of society, making a deep difference in the lives of many. These are giants of faith, quietly planting seeds of change, which are aimed at prospering the soul and deepening the spirit, rather than appealing to our fleshly desires. And kudos to them all. 

Yet, no Christian worth his or her salt (and light) would disagree with me that if the soul doesn’t prosper first and foremost, bearing and demonstrating the authentic fruits of the Spirit in one’s life, then, on what foundation is a life prospering? To what ends then are we heaping treasures on earth? In other words, what is one’s prosperity based on? And shouldn’t that always be the first go-to inquiry we  make when we are confronting the inner recesses of our wayward heart? 

Let me end on a somber note from Lee Grady, ordained minister and editor of Charisma Magazine: -

"So much of what we call ministry today has been compromised by ego, marketing and man-made agendas. Some of our own "Spirit-filled" preachers are happy to sell a healing or a financial miracle for $29.95. Others claim spiritual superiority because they have the largest following on social media or because so many lined up to attend their packed conferences. We have exchanged honesty, integrity, purity and humility for hype, fake anointing, manipulated photos, inflated attendance reports, sensuality and boastful swagger. God forgive us.”

Alas, should we finally admit that we have come to the crossroad of our faith in this post modern world where what is most urgent in our calling and service of ministry and faith is to seriously examine the intention of the heart more than to be caught up counting the money in our coffers and/or the number of seats filled in the church? Soul food for reflection?

In any event, have a blessed Sunday of rest and reflection.