Recently, a lady in her late fifties came to my office. She was concerned about losing her job. She told me that all those who were older have been asked to go. Mind you, some of them desperately needed the job to support their aged mother or grandkids whose parents have dumped them on their lap.
Most of them left because the pressure was just unbearable. They were bullied by their newly appointed superiors who were no more than their own children’s age.
These youngsters felt they could do the job better and can’t take correction from someone who is supposed to report to them. They just can’t accept the reality that their older “subordinates” are just more experienced, or have stayed in the company longer, much longer.
So, this is the dark side of ageism. It is not just about the discrimination one gets because of age, it is also the fatalism in ageism that hastens one’s despondent faith in a society that is supposed to be fair, kind, respectful and understanding to one’s elderly.
Somehow, once you cross that chronolgical threshold, you are viewed as a person not valued for your experience and maturity, and valuable past contributions that built the company, but someone going downhill from there. There is no Pioneer or Merdeka generation status for them in the private sector, or even public sector.
It is a fatalistic gap because you are deemed spent, used, and unless you have wealth and power, you are seen as someone who is just standing in the way of others busy and blindly making their glowing mark in the corporate world.
Julian Assange has this interesting equation, though simplistic, which I would like to borrow to sharper my point.
“Capitalism + atheism + feminism = sterility = migration”.
Maybe, in our case it is this: -
“Capitalism + atheism = ageism = disillusionment = migration (that is, suicide)”.
SOS exec director Christine Wong said: “It is very worrying that many elderly are turning to suicide as the only choice to end their pain and struggles, when they should be enjoying the lustre of their golden years.”
Alas, we have effectively closed our eyes to the dark side of capitalism because its glittering promises are just too irresistible for us, especially the young. It promises fame, recognition, wealth and power, and these dangled carrots drive us into the enchanted but dark forest of greed, materialism, and individualism.
Adam Smith has duly warned us about its deleterious effects, but the mirage is just too seductive for us to pay any attention.
As for atheism, I am referring to it in a way that the young, or majority of them, no longer feels bound by traditions, meaningful disciplines and self-denying rituals and over-arching meta-narrative.
Sadly, there is even a certain emboldened rebellion against all that. So, from others-centered, some are increasingly becoming self-centered.
When duty, honour and respect for others that find its deepest and most anchored roots in religion and traditions are sidelined or trivialised by the broad road of wealth and fame, most are therefore freed and free to pursue whatever that makes them happy and satisfied even if it means using others as a means to their own self-enriching ends.
This of course caused our younger generation to enjoy the potent cocktail mix that leads to ageism, that is, discriminating against those who have gone before them because if they take the credit, what is left for them right?
Is it any wonder that an economically developed nation like Japan has been hit by a crime wave of elderly shoplifters?
Mind you, “a staggering 20 per cent of the entire Japanese prison population is now aged over 60.” (compared to 6 per cent in the US).” (p 212 of “Extra Time” by Camilla Cavendish).
In the book, author Camilla wrote: “One prison inmate, a Ms F, 89, told a Bloomberg reporter that she had stolen rice, strawberries and cold medicine.
“I was living alone on welfare,” she said. “I used to live with my daughter’s family and used all my savings taking care of an abusive and violent son-in-law.“”
Let me end with an inspiring story about a former cleaner named Mdm Ang Swee Huay.
She is 91 years old. For 40 years, she has been caring for her two mentally ill children who used to live in their four-room flat in Hougang.
The story is reported by Janice Tai.
Mdm Ang’s son, 56, has schizophrenia, and her daughter, 57, has polio and depression. “Both have been afflicted since their teenage years.”
“Madam Ang would wake up at the break of dawn to prepare their breakfast and lunch, remind them to take their medication and then leave for work. Once she returned home, she would cook dinner, and go down on her knees to bathe (her daughter) on the toilet floor as her daughter is paralysed from the waist down.”
But 8 years ago, Mdm Ang was diagnosed with breast and colon cancer. And 4 years ago, she showed signs of dementia with mood swings and memory loss.
Yet, battling all that, Mdm Ang simply refuses to take her medication for fear that it would make her sleepy and she can’t take care of her children.
“In the past two years, however, she kept collapsing from exhaustion and had to be taken to hospital in an ambulance.”
Mdm Ang’s life exemplifies what I read in John: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down your life for loved ones.”
And her daughter said: “I am worried about my mum. I hope she lives until 102 or 107 years old.”
To which, Mdm Ang, who now has stage three cancer, replied in Hokkien, “I am getting old, and I know I need to start letting go of them. That is why we moved (to the nursing home), so they can get used to life here.”
Alas, there is surely no fatalism in ageism. The only fatalism I see is of those who display an attitude of self-superiority, one that treats others with little or no dignity and respect.
Mdm Ang has taught me that ultimately, character trumps knowledge, hope overcomes despair, and love conquers self.
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