Friday, 21 November 2014

How do you deal with disappointment?

How do you deal with disappointment? You deal with it the same way you deal with a toothache. You bite the bullet. You grit your teeth. You swallow it down. You bear with it. You ignore it. Dismiss it if you can. But it never lets up. The toothache will gnaw at you. Disappointment will keep you awake for hours. So you just have to fight the pain. Drown the hurt. Think about thoughts that are between happy and sad. Why? Because too happy and the pain 
will hit you like a ton of bricks when the hangover comes. And too sad and you will only commiserate with the pain.

So you strike a balance with disappointment. The pain can only be numbed with moderation, and for a bittersweet duration. You have to let begrudging reality walk you by. It comes and it goes. It is in the interim that you have to struggle with. You can't choose the season for disappointment to set up tent in your broken heart. It comes unbidden, regardless of how you
 are feeling at the moment. It seems that its timing is never right. Disappointment is the definitive gatecrasher. It doesn't RSVP you. It doesn't call in advance. You just have to suck it all in and let it do its wrecking-ball clearance. It will make you miserable. It will keep you down. It will drag you around. It will assign a stormy cloud just to shadow you wherever you go. You will see the world in monochromatic hue. It is going to be 1000 shades of grey, trust me. Disappointment knows your
 buttons and it doesn't need your permission to press them whenever it wants and for however long it takes.

So, how do you deal with disappointment?  You deal with it the same way you deal with life. You can't make it go away. You can't wish for it to vanish.  It is not like a passing cloud or a common cold. You can't inoculate yourself from life. There is no immunity against life. Your birth marks the start of it and your death marks the end of it. You live your life and you don't live outside of it. Like time, you
 are lock-jawed with it. So life comes with everything expected of it; the good and the bad. And amongst the bad is disappointment. Yes, that 14-letter word again! You deal with disappointment by accepting it as part and parcel of life. You don't escape from it but you confront it. You spar with it. You tell it off. You issue this verbal haymaker, "What's your problem?"  Make no mistakes. Disappointment is here to stay. But the question is, "Are you going to let it evict you out of the 
life that you are living in?" And keep in mind this: You are the host of your own life - don't reduce yourself to being a squatter begging for a bed to sleep on and a hole in the ground to piss in. Take a stand. Take charge. Take heart.

So, how do you deal with disappointment? Let me end it this way. The best way I know how is love. Between toothache and life, love is the antidote to transforming disappointments. It is tough love that counts in the end. Love embraces 
disappointment. It is beyond pain and beyond toleration. Love is able to see beyond disappointment. Love has a special scope or line of sight. It doesn't swallow it down or wallow around. It values disappointment as made up of many stepping stones to a viable future and not a millstone hung around one's neck in despair. Love is maternal patience for an eternal future. Love makes the difference. More importantly, love bridges the difference.

I can only deal with disappointment with 
love. That is, a very human love undergirded by the Lover of my soul. I can only love disappointment back to life. I can only turn disappointment into  strength and nurture it from there to greater heights. I cannot end my journey with disappointment. No I can't. No I won't. No I can't afford it. Instead I should journey with disappointment and affirm it from time to time to raise it from strength to strength.  And one day, disappointment shall become a distant but abiding memory with hope, joy and love 
its anticipated future. Cheerz.

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