Sunday, 2 November 2014

How not to make homosexuality a sin.

Here is how not to make homosexuality a sin. First, don’t discriminate. Don’t be hostile to them. Don’t treat them as second class or third. In other words, don’t treat them different or with prejudice, not even a smidgen. You need an attitude change. Be open minded. Be empathetic. Be loving.

And whatever you do, don’t ever - and I mean ever - throw the scriptures at them, especially the Old Testament. There is a phobia of tradition here. You will be opening up old maggots-infested wounds if you should tell them about Sodom and Gomorrah or Leviticus or even Adam and Eve. If given a second chance, they might just go back in time and petition for God to consider a revisionist genesis history with a third character named Steve added to the sexuality mix.

Then, there is love. Like a giant eraser in the sky, love between two male paramours erases everything that is sinful about their sexual congress and starts them on a new much-celebrated romantic journey of intimacy, growth, sharing and bonding. Love is what softens the hearts, straightens the aberration and dampens the discrimination. The irreligiosity of their union is made religious because of love. Indeed there is no more cultural and social condemnation when love thrives and prevails.

God forbid that you should tell them about reproduction. It is a no-brainer here to remind you NOT to mention that penile-vaginal intercourse is the ONLY way to reproduce.  Don’t even suggest that because they will prattle on about advanced reproductive breakthroughs where having offspring doesn’t necessarily involve penile-vaginal intercourse. Technology has therefore made the conventional way of having babies so outmoded and passe.

Thanks to modern medical science, the options are now open to all.  Same-sex couples can always consider a surrogate womb or even adoption. For a price, you can always have someone else to carry your seed to full term, the whole nine-months, that is, and then explain to your child when he is older that a third party had a hand in his or her birth. It is thus no longer a private affair between two loving persons anymore.

In short, reproduction is no longer an Adam-and-Eve thingy for homosexuals (male). The erection, the orgasmic lubrication of the vagina, the penile insertion, the consummation between two front-to-front beings, the ejaculation of semen into a ready wet vaginal canal, the deep soul connection as the lovers’ gazes meet at that point of release and receive, the intimate frontal embrace just after that, the relentless struggle of millions of seeds to journey through the crushing mouth of the cervix, the rough terrains of the uterus, and the meandering fallopian tube in order to fertilize the glorious egg, and the nine months wait as precious life develops in the womb of someone you had lovingly impregnated are all no longer necessary or needed all thanks to the cold ingenious hands of modern reproductive technology.  

Now, it is all so convenient and accessible, it is almost god-sent. Lovemaking for reproduction for homosexuals is a close-knit collective effort involving the professional collaboration of a fertility doctor and his coterie of people-friendly nurses, a willing and healthy surrogate as a purposive means to a wondrous end, the two male lovers’ semen, and a battery of tests, consultations, diagnosis, charts, prognosis and a series of endearing monitoring like phone calls, meetings, health screenings and interviews.

In any case, direct, front-to-front impregnation is easy to get around with for homosexuals. And if there is any morning sickness, nausea, vomiting and nocturnal cravings, you can rest assured that it is not going to be your beloved partner, that is, the one sleeping besides you who will have to go through all that. You guys are therefore spared the nine-months of wild mood swings, hormonal agitation, and incongruous swelling (baring your own temperament and the anxiety of waiting of course). It is just going to be someone else’s problem and not yours.

And if you should care enough, you can contact and make regular visits to your assigned surrogate to ensure that all is well with her.  She may be a total stranger to you before you guys even decided to have a child together but the seed she is incubating inside of her will turn out to be the most beautiful gift you guys will ever behold when birth comes. And what’s more, you guys can be proud that you did it together – not through sexual intercourse of course – but through the innovative assistance of modern reproductive technology, a dedicated group of fertility professionals and a borrowed womb.

So, I guess the above is how you can not make homosexuality a sin. Come to think of it, it is not even unnatural with compliments of modern medical modifications.  In the end, we should all learn to live and let live. For what is wrong and what is right is really just a matter of interpretation in this postmodern age right?. And what is religion if it is not one man’s queer and another man’s tear right? So a little understanding and love from both sides will go a long way here. And if God had a say in all this, I guess he would have created Adam and Eve and possibly have a standby fertility doctor in the Garden of Eden just in case. Cheerz. 

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