Extraordinary kids?

We want our children to be extraordinary. We want them to stand out, to be outstanding. 

The script is to never be forgotten. Leave a mark no one has ever left behind before. Be the legacy everyone will remember.

In business, be the Schultz, Tatas or Bransons. In finances, be the Buffets and Soros. And in technology innovation, be the Gates, Zuckerbergs and Bezos. 

Our dreams for our children are boundless. We want them to excel in whatever they do, and never settle to settle. Be at the top of their game, and always striving to be the best. 

But what is extraordinary then? What is the “extra” in the word? How about outstanding? What does the “out” stands for? 

Everybody wants to be a billionaire. But how about the honest wage earner? Everybody wants to build empires. But how about the one who builds a home for the family? 

And everybody wants to be famous. But how about a father whose kids offer the most heartfelt eulogy at his wake? He may not be well known by thousands, but to the handful his life has touched, he is well loved, never forgotten. 

I always thought that the “extra” in extraordinary has to be something more than just being ordinary. But I was wrong about it. My mistake was to never distinguish mediocrity from ordinariness. 

You can be mediocre in the ordinary but you can be extraordinary in the ordinary. The reality that you are ordinary is not to be despised. What is to be despised is someone who despises an ordinary life, wishing to be somewhere else, hoping he is someone else, never to have a mind that is contented and at peace with himself. 

Such a man will never be extraordinary even if he becomes famous, rich and possesses everything he strives for. Because even in his glowing status, adored by thousands, he will never be contented. He will never be at peace. He will never settle. 

Let me end with what I find most extraordinary. They are examples I can only wish for myself and my life. 

I attend church regularly and sometimes I sit in the kids’ section. Without fail, carrying their son into the room was a couple who have been attending church for decades. 

They would occupy the front row, and as the message was being preached over the big screen, the couple would take turns to play with their son. He is mentally challenged, and despite his cries and wailing, they never let up caring for him. That’s extraordinary for me. 

I have a friend whom I have known for more than 30 years, and for a period of 16 years, he had been taking care of his wife. She had been battling with lupus, and at the end stage of her life, her immune system turned around and attacked her own organs. 

He told me he had many sleepless nights and when I asked him what kept him going, he answered simply, “she’s my wife”. That can’t be anything but extraordinary. 

And finally, yesterday, I brought my daughters to Tanah Merah Terminal to welcome my wife back from Batam. My youngest girl was very excited about her mom’s return. She said to me that she has been waiting for it since Friday when she left. When she saw her, she ran over and hugged her. The bond was deeply touching for me. It was extraordinary. 

They are all extraordinary in their own ways, and none of their extraordinary efforts in the most ordinariness of living can be considered as mediocre. 

One is about parental sacrifice, the other is about spousal devotion to the very end, and the other is about a mother’s love. 

And in the ordinary lives they all live, what inspires me most is how extraordinary their love, faithfulness and hope for another are. Nothing comes close. Not fame, riches or power. 

Indeed, you are extraordinary not when you have everything. But you are extraordinary when you give everything. Cheerz.