How to succeed in a suicide? Kill hope. No joke. Incinerate hope. Snuff the life out of it. And don't for one second hesitate. You blink, you lose. That's the only surefooted way to end it all. Your first step to drown hope is to repeat to yourself what the Navy Seals often tell themselves, "The only easy day was yesterday." And follow that up with this, "It's all going downhill from here." When you only have today to live for - as tomorrow is perceptibly going to suck big time - you really have no defensible reason to live anymore. This is where hope evaporates in the dry crucible of perpetual doom and gloom.
Hope is really the only culprit standing in your way of a successful suicide. You must therefore be wary of hope. Keep a watchful eye. Hope is the main reason why you are still alive. Hope is the benefactor of the oxygen that you are still inhaling and exhaling now. Without hope, not only does one's vision perish, one's life also vanishes. So turn your radar detector on hope and don't let it come even an inch closer to you.
But watch out my suicidal friend. Hope is going to be very persistent. He is really stubborn. He is mule-like. It is not going to be an easy struggle. Hope may be a four-letter word like the other less dignified words I know like hate and fake but he is very subtle, secretive and sublime even. He sides with life the way love sides with marriage and faith with religion. They are literally inseparable, that is, hope and life, love and marriage, and faith and religion. They are your partners in crime or your twin saboteurs.
As long as there is a life and a living, hope will come. It will come unbidden, unsolicited like an intoxicated gatecrasher with no shame. It will come when you least expect it. It is totally insidious. It works like a master of disguises. You will find hope in the most unexpected and unpredictable places.
You will find hope lying beside you when you catch the first wink in the morning. It is there when you look into the mirror before you wash out the dread. You will also find hope in the faces of your loved ones, especially your wife and kids who are looking at you everyday for a reason to be inspired. Your friends are a constant glow of hope. Hope can also be found in your workplace, in the people you have touched deeply, and in the smiles of those whose life you have changed for the better.
Hope can sometimes sneak up on you when you are listening to a ministering song, a scriptural passage or an unpretentious sermon, or reading a book about the triumphant struggles of people. Hope may even nudge you into an epiphany in the middle of an ordinary day. It is just creepy how hope would bug and stalk you wherever you may be. Like the morning dewdrops, hope lingers nevertheless. You don't need to look for hope, it will find you. And when it finds you, it grabs you. Whether you like it or not, hope is a vital part of you, and you cannot run away from it because you cannot run away from yourself. Asking "where is hope?" is like a fish asking "Where is water?"
As long as you are alive, hope will be your constant reminder of why life is worth living. Hope can even appear in your dreams and agitate you from there. It may plant seeds in your subconscious so that they may germinate into an inexplicable urge to embrace life.
So hope is your public and private enemy number one in your dark journey to suicide. Of course, you can choose to ignore, dismiss or suppress it. Hope can be jilted like a spurned lover. It can be cast to one side, abandoned. But it will not take it lying down. Hope floats back. It bounces up. Hope falls forward. Hope will be your persistent bugbear when you have decided to end your life. Without hope, suicide is as natural as surrendering to gravity. But with hope, it usually ends up in suspended animation. Death and hope are therefore as incompatible as two left feet in a person.
Now, let me recap: kill hope. Smother it. Bury it. You do not want hope to stumble you when you want to end it all. Before you take that definite, irreversible plunge to a certain death, free your mind from hope. Escape from it. Trust me, it is the only way to succeed in a suicide. Because even a sliver of hope is enough to stop you dead at your tracks.
That is all I have to say about a successful suicide. I hope it is food for thought for you. I hope you will ponder more about it. I hope that you will lose hope over hope. And in the words of Pearl S. Buck, "To eat bread without hope is still slowly to starve to death." So, if you want to starve to death, ingest bread; not hope. Cheerz