Tuesday, 16 December 2014

What a kiss means to me.

I often kiss my wife before I leave for work in the morning. I kissed her again this morning. Sometimes I do not feel like doing so. Sometimes going to work is a routine I dread. Sometimes I feel kissing her is an unnecessary act. Yet, I kissed her. It was a simple kiss. Nothing heart stopping or applause-arousing.

It was an unpretentious kiss in the privacy of my personal expression. It was a modest contact between two human beings who knew each 
other well enough. Some may even see it as a mechanical kiss; a dry and unassuming one. My lips rested with a little pressure on her exposed cheek and that physical connection lasted for no more than 3 seconds. 5 seconds at most when a little passionate remembrance takes over. But it was a kiss nevertheless of earthly brevity. It was a deliberate kiss planted regardless of how I felt at that moment.

Why do I then bring this kiss to mind in this post? Because my wife and I had a
 misunderstanding last night about the house and I lost my head. I restlessly drifted into intemperate zone and acted Neanderthal-like. Although I came to my senses before totally losing it, I felt like the red swelling rear of an amazon ape. So I needed to reconnect with her and seal it with a kiss.

This kiss may be a small gesture no doubt but it makes a crucial difference in my heart. It nudges my unsettled emotions toward a point of
 arresting inflection. The kiss is a symbol, a powerful one. It reminds me of our marriage vow made before a crowd of witnesses. It catches a nostalgic glimpse of the night we first consummated our love. That morning kiss, however seemingly involuntary, draws out fond memories of our reconciled 
past and guides me toward a united future. It was an expendable act I know but one that was emotionally indispensable to me.

If love is a verb, then that kiss is the adjective that deepens the noun of our union. If love is hope, then that kiss is the wind beneath my marital sail that carries me forward. And if love is meant to be forever, then that kiss is the unbroken link of a lifetime.

My love therefore stands amiss if I take that kiss for granted. Should I then treat the kiss as no more than a
 signature on a pledge to be forgotten or a passing promise to my children to get them off my back, I would have underestimated the one thing that could change many things in my journey of learning to love. I would have then forfeited an opportunity to fortify this passion that diligently seeks to join two lives together.

So I humbly return to the kiss this morning. As I rested my lips on her cheek, I applied some pressure to it. I wanted to make it 
count. I wanted to leave an impression, to leave an indelible mark. Regardless of the night before, I wanted to do it. It is not about how I feel at that time but how a simple and almost effortless act can change how I feel at any given time. It is the enduring difference it makes and not the differences between us that compels me to kiss my wife.

The power of a kiss or a hug or the joining of hands and hearts is the power to reconnect and to set us apart. I am therefore indebted to that kiss. I owe it a returning favor for 
rekindling a resilient candle struggling to shine most defiantly in the darkness of our marital challenges.

And as I retreated from it, I felt a longing for it. I felt I needed to plant another one, to linger even longer this time, and to draw upon its reconciling effect. There and then, I realized quite magically that I needed more of what that kiss brought to my spirit than what the nursing grudges the night before brought to my embittered soul.

In an instant as brief as the kiss itself, I felt I could easily let go of the 
misgivings and I gradually felt lighter, calmer and even freer. Whatever was eating me up that night was swallowed whole by love's voracious appetite to embrace, to rejoice and to move forward with renewed passion and understanding.

So let me congratulate the power of a simple kiss. And in so congratulating to never forget that what makes it so life-transforming is my desire to make it count regardless of how I feel at that moment in time. My transformation therefore owes it
to a conscious choice and an accompanied act rather than to the fleetingness of a sentimental effect. Cheerz.

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