Life is real.

Life is real. It is not an abstract. It is real. It is real because your pain is real. The pain you feel is yours and no one else. 

You can’t describe it to anyone better than how you are feeling about it. No one is able to understand it better than you. 

You know where it hurts. You know how long it hurts. You know how deep it hurts. That is how real it is. That’s why life is real. It is real because every pain you go through is real. 

Nobody can tell you how to feel the pain. Most time, they don’t have the slightest idea. What they claim they know about your pain doesn’t even come close. Your pain is yours to own. 

And when it comes, and trust me it will, don’t brush it aside. Don’t dismiss it. Don’t pretend it is not there. It does not disappear just because you wish it away. Your denial of it doesn’t make it go away. 

Eventually, your pain demands your attention because your experience with it counts. And it counts because it does not come empty handed. There is always a message in your pain. The message is tailor-made just for you, just for that occasion. 

You may bear your pain with a heavy heart, but it is not there to torment you. It is not there to overwhelm your heart. It only seeks an honest dialogue, pleading for a solitary union with you. 

I will not deny that your pain will hurt. Like a knife, it can cut deep. Your initial reaction is thus expected, even at times justified. You are human after all. Your stolid face cannot hide the bleeding heart within for long.

But when you join your heart with pain, you must go beyond the hurts, go beyond the grief, the disappointment and resignation. Like day and night, like the rising and setting of the sun, it is always darkest just before a brand new day breaks. 

Don’t live in the shadow of pain and never have the courage to step into its light. Its season changes when you take the leap of faith. So, make your pain a soul-searching journey and not a soul crushing one. Join pain in this journey of self-discovery and strengthen your heart with purposeful healing. 

If I should end now, I’ll leave you with one word: Gethsemane. In Hebrew, it means oil press. In Aramaic, it refers to a place on a hillside covered with olive trees.

At a time before his total surrender, Jesus told his disciples that his soul is sorrowful unto death. He knew what pain was, he knew it with shuddering horror. At that time, he was not courting death, he was courting love. And love called him to the ultimate sacrifice.

It was in Gethsemane that you will witness the darkest of one’s soul, its pitch blackness before dawn. Crushed by grief, Jesus threw himself onto the ground and prayed. 

His prayer revealed the message in his pain and grief. “Father, if possible remove this cup from me, yet, not what I want, but what you want.”

It was not by virtue of Jesus’ divinity that he overcame. No miracle however great could remove the cup from him. It was however the overcoming of his humanity by virtue of obedience and love that he stepped into the light and confronted the Cross. 

So life is real. So too is your pain. And in your pain, there’s always a message. The message is a call to Gethsemane. A call to struggle. A call to obedience. A call to surrender. And a call to overcoming. 

For you can never extract the oil from olive without pressing and crushing it until the fragrance is finally released. Amen.