The Issue of the Heart - Monday Morning Musing.

Monday morning musing...

If you look at how Jesus led then and how a typical cell or home group in church leads today, the difference is glaring. 

Think about it. 

Jesus’ time with the twelve was everyday, all day, for three years. Altogether, if you do the maths, it’s about 9000 hours of life together, that is, sharing, sleeping and teaching, especially by example, by life encounters, by signs and wonders, by prayers, by rebuking, by silence, by calming the storms of life, and by having hearty meals together. 

How about us? How much time do we spent with our home group? 2 hours a session on a weekday? Some three hours? Every week, two hours? 

How about individual meet ups? Another two hours? And informal gathering, quarterly? 

So, put together, we have about the standard 2 hours a week for three years, and that comes up to 320 hours. 

And if we add those time of individual meetings (even though not in a group context) and the quarterly gatherings for three years, maybe we can push it up to 400 to 500 hours invested in a cell. 

Now, the comparison seems unfair because times are different. Jesus did tell them about the cost. He demanded that they counted it. The Cross they have to bear is not only about sacrifices of time, but family, loved ones too. He asked them to follow him, period, not meet up every week, have a hot meal, and go home after that. 

Today, our cell group experiences are so different. We confine ourselves in a room or a hall, and hand out prepared notes, with three or four questions to address or tackle. 

We have our standard worship and praise of 10 to 20 minutes. We go into introduction and then discussion. We end with a prayer and then fellowship before we call it a night. 

Cell group dynamics vary in intensity, depth and intimacy. 

Some gel well, others are largely a touch and go affair. Still others suffer from declining membership because the members don’t feel connected and the leaders are largely disillusioned, exhausted having to juggle work, family and ministry. 

But my point is this...no, it is not about the difference between Jesus’ time and ours. It is not about the 9000 hours invested over three intense, intimate years and ours of about 400 to 500 hours of “let’s meet again next week, and don’t forget to read up chapter so-and-so.”

It is not even about the difference of how structured ours are and how impromptu, most times, spontaneous Jesus leadership was when he led the twelve. 

Ultimately, it is about the human heart. That’s what it all boils down to. The eras may have changed, with technology, civilization progression, and science advancement, but the heart is still the same. That is why, corny or otherwise, the issue of the heart is indeed the heart of the issue. 

Let me just say that Jesus’ 9000 hours spent with his twelve was not a resounding success in His lifetime. Underscore “lifetime.” 

History has shown that they had failed Him even at the time of the Cross. During his lifetime, they were struggling to emulate their Saviour, to follow in His footsteps. 

The disciples have all kinds of issues not uncommon to the ones we experience today. They have fear issues, doubts issue, drowning issues, rebellion issues, ego issues, greed issues, racist issues, and suicide issue - the last issue ended in a disciple’s death. 

Make no mistakes, His disciples have ideas, opinions, tensions, clashes, struggles, values, and strong, stubborn wills of their own. 

Their hearts were not transformed and lives impacted until Jesus declared “it’s finished”. And if they were prematurely judged during the lifetime of Jesus, the world of Christianity might just be viewed as another ancient cult no different from the rest of the ancient myths of gods and goddesses. 

Going back to my point about the heart of the issue in the context of a cell or home group, I think the words of senior pastor Gareth Weldon Icenogle puts it most aptly. He wrote: -

“All human communities exist in a state of brokenness and ambivalence, caught between the seventh day shalom of God and the temptation to withdraw into the “darkness” and “chaos” of the first day...small groups are trapped in the “paradox” of hunger for intimacy (“it’s not good to be alone”) and fear of intimacy (“they sewed fig leaves to cover themselves”).”

I harbour no delusions about the human heart. Neither do I underestimate its potential. The same heart that plots another’s downfall is also the one that sacrifices for others. 

From darkness or chaos to peace, the journey is a long, and sometimes terrifying one. The disciples struggled to align their hearts to the heart of their Saviour just as we today struggle to align ours to His.

Although brokenness and the hunger for intimacy come together as a bridge to healing and peace, yet we struggle to connect because that is also where we are liable to be broken. And for many, this is not their first time. That is our fear of intimacy, resulting in a resolute resignation in favour of being alone. 

That is also the challenge of small groups today. That is, the challenge to build upon brokenness by inviting them to be even more vulnerable, knowing that when they open and give of their hearts to another, sharing the hurts and confusion, the chaos and hopelessness, they might themselves experience brokenness, greater uncertainty and pain. 

But Jesus knew that that is the only way to transform a heart. Not by sewing fig leaves to cover ourselves, hiding our brokenness, but by confronting the pain, transcending the brokenness, and embracing a new perspective of hope beyond the burdens and cares of this world. 

And when Jesus calls us to come and die to self, He is not telling us to harden our heart so that we are beyond brokenness. He however calls us to brave through our trials with it so that in our brokenness, we may receive healing, restoration and peace. That is the enduring resilience of Calvary from the one who is also the author and finisher of our faith.