Wednesday, 8 October 2014

10 reasons why your FACE should be on the FRONT cover.

I was at Popular @ Parkway Parade recently and I stumbled upon two books with the author's attention-grabbing face splashed across the front covers (see insert here). I thought to myself, "This is a surefire way to grab attention by the jugular and sell books if you have such a blessedly beaming face like his."

So I came up with 10 reasons why up-and-coming married authors (with fabulous looks) should consider the same
marketing and facial strategy. Here goes...

1) So that readers can put a face to your name. That's obvious I know.
2) So that readers can easily recall your name because they have the benefit of a mnemonic-like template of your face in their head. This is unconscious advertising actually and it works swimmingly, always.
3) So that male readers can ask their hairstylists to adopt that same distinctive hairdo (or any facial distinction of yours). It is said that mimicry is 
in fact the first step to replicating success.
4) So that readers can be assured that the book is not written by a seemingly unruly,
 unshaven and disheveled author, or a nutcase for that matter.
5) So that readers in the midst of reading your book can occasionally steal glances at your face pasted on the front cover for inspiration, direction and quiet adoration.
6) So that readers can recognize your face in public and hanker after you for your autographs. This is great for sales and launching sequels.
7) So that readers can be reminded that if they read enough of your books, they can look just as stunningly attractive as you. This is called subtle facial
 transformation actually - because the phrase "you are what you read" is not just an empty saying (or is it "you are what you eat"?)
8) So that readers can see how consistent you have been since you last wrote your first book. Here is what I mean. If you compare the two books (see above), which is ten years apart, you will notice that the author actually looks as youthful as before. In fact, the face on the later book looks even younger. Talk about the blessing of youthfulness. This only adds more credibility to the author's
 advice about personal blessings in the book (Photoshop and regular teeth whitening notwithstanding)
9) So that readers can be convinced that judging the book by its cover is sometimes a reliable guide to the quality of the writings inside (Don't try to analyze this please).
10) And finally - for those dedicated publishers who always throw in their author's marital partner in an unabashed front or
 back book-cover-splash - so that readers are assured of how loving, cheerful and perfect your marriage is. I mean, how can someone with a partner that matches you in shining appearance, in Colgate-flashing smile, and in unhurried decorum not be good in his writings, right? Appearance in this case is really everything. Period. Cheerz.

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