I wonder, what does this day mean to me?
If you don’t know about this day, it can be surmised in three integral narratives. It’s about a man who claims to be God. It’s about a sacrifice driven by unconditional love. And it’s about a life who has endured the worst that this world has prepared for him, yet he overcame all, even death.
The first part is about faith. The second about love. And the third is hope.
Fabled tale?
Well, unlike the apostle, the personal witnesses of this nature-defying event thousands of years ago, by the time this narrative comes to us today, it is no doubt already been secondary sources many times over.
That is why year in and year out, Good Friday is largely about a recursive message repackaged from the pulpit before a solemn audience. And bless their rejoicing hearts, some churches will try to spruce the message up with theatre, a moving choir, a stunning stage performance, or a musical piece with intimate sound effects at the right intervals.
Still, if you want to relate to the message in a more personal way, you can also view this day as one about an exceptional life, even by the standard of the secular world, that had lived in an exceptional way, that is, against the grain of what we have been taught about success, and notwithstanding the disappointment, pain and deep betrayal, with tears shed like drops of blood, he never gave up, took that road condemned, and cried, “forgive them”, before ending with, “it’s finished”.
So, if you piece it all together, as a runner, he has completed the race. As a warrior, he has fought the good fight. And as a man who came with nothing, he was raised to be something even up till today we are still reminded of him. 
The world just could not forget. The calendar remembers. He has indeed left a mark called the cross that has given the world a reason to celebrate life and afterlife.
In fact, I know of a life who has recently left this world at such a young age, yet she had left it in such a way that has given me good reason to celebrate this day in the quietude of my heart. No fanfare. No frills. No theatre. Just a solitary walk of quiet realisation.
I know her as See Ting. She passed on in February this year. She was only 28. Yet, she had fought the good fight and ran the good race. And she left with this resolution in her heart: “I want to be known as someone who loves well, and is well-loved.” That for me is the essence of the walk of via Dolorosa.
So if Good Friday has a message, it is in the message of a life that has taken that same road condemned, the furnace fire, and turned it into a celebration not just of life, but of love, faith and hope. And the short life of See Ting borne all that fruit, and so much more.
You can read about her life in a recent article in Vogue written by Amelia Chia, 31 March 2021. It is a beautiful article in See Ting’s own words.
And for a glimpse of it, here is what See Ting had to go through at an age when most of us are thinking of career, marriage and family.
“By the age of 28, (See Ting) had confronted hurdles most of us believe to be untouchable in our youth.
When she was 20, she was diagnosed with alopecia areata, an autoimmune disorder where deregulation of the immune system leads to an attack on the hair follicles—causing her to lose her hair.
In 2019, when (See Ting) was 26, she came face to face with triple-negative breast cancer and a subsequent mastectomy. Last year, a couple of months before her 28th birthday, she was dealt life’s final blow. The cancer cells had migrated to her brain, resulting in leptomeningeal disease, which is terminal.”
Despite going through what is unthinkable and most heartbreaking for anyone at that age, or any age, See Ting was still so full of life and even declared this: -
“If left to my flesh, I do feel resentment for the life I’ve been given. There are times when I compare my life behind-the- scenes to others’ highlight reels, but this is my lot and I’ve become a better person after each health episode. I like me a lot more now; my character has been honed through the fire. I’ve learnt not to complain.”
See Ting added: “I was very real about what faith looks like. I think many times, when people ask, “Oh, you are Christian, everything you just thank God, and thank God, you know, it’s just all fine and dandy.” Being a Christian is like one of the most difficult things...in my life, there’s just a lot of challenges, right? But I would not trade this for anything else, because in this journey, my God has always held my hand.”
Now that’s faith, a faith that walks in the valley, and at the same time, celebrates at the mountaintop. They are one and the same thing to the one who is brought to the rock that is higher than I.
Next comes hope. See Ting said: ““Our end destination is heaven. If I don’t see healing come to pass, then it is on the other side. I genuinely believe that we are sojourners passing through this Earth. We are homesick for a place where there is no more pain and suffering.”
Now, that’s the hope of a believer. That’s the good news in Good Friday. Not an escape hatch, but a life living fully in the present in the shadow of eternity.
Lastly, love, and love is even more beautiful in See Ting’s life. He comes as Ian Ng. Ian knew the cost, yet in November last year he proposed to her. They met on C&B in Feb 2019 and he stayed with her through all her nights and all her days, until her very last.
But what is most moving is love overcoming in the midst of an uncertain future. Here is how Amelia wrote about it in the interview: -
“(Ian) decided to stay, but their relationship didn’t begin until (See Ting) resolved her own internal struggles. “I struggled to accept that Ian is a good man and he loves me,” she admits. “A friend told me that when a good man comes along, he will give you no reason to doubt and the only reason to doubt is yourself. Ian never gave me any reason to doubt; I realised it was my own insecurity and past baggage.””
“There’s a different kind of pain when you watch a loved one suffer and you feel helpless,” (See Ting) says, tears welling up in her eyes. “But I saw him dance, praise and entrust my life in God’s hands. He takes the best care of me and loves me more than anything. If God takes me away sooner rather than later, I believe our hope that it’s ‘not goodbye, but see you soon [in heaven]’ will carry Ian through.”
That is love, unconditional and enduring. A love prepared to go through the best and the worst of times. A love that will never leave, in the valley or at the mountaintop.
So, let me end with an encounter, a familiar one.
“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.””
Indeed, Mary has chosen the better thing; the only thing that epitomises what Good Friday means. It is the same choice See Ting had consistently made, confronting life, at its rawest and its joyous. In all circumstances, she chose the one thing above all. She chose faith, hope and love. She became abetterting.
And that’s what Good Friday means to me.
