Calling the young to embrace the crucible of adversity.

Never say die. It’s not all gloom and doom. Group solidarity. Play our part. Don’t just rely on Government. And the best way to predict the future is to create it.

How about that? Minister Lawrence Wong has spoken. It was at the NTU’s student union forum. His theme? Embrace difficult times as crucibles that forge character. 

He borrowed the adage of “how one could deal with adversity by letting it define, destroy or strengthen one.” How do you argue with that? You know the good minister is right, right? Inspired? Well, you have to be there to soak in the esprit de corps. 

He also said: “The Goverment will do our part to support you, and partner you in this exciting journey ahead.” I think that has always been our nation’s philosophy, from independence to the 4G leadership. It’s about adversity, agency and autonomy. That is, you do your part, we do ours. 

Mind you, the gap is not bridged by one party at one extreme. It is bridged by two parties meeting somewhere in the middle, or center left/right. But still, you have to take that first step, and be consistent in spirit and mind about wanting to embrace adversity, making a positive change and making it count until you reach your goal.

And talking about agency and autonomy, I am reminded about the resource curse. Over the decades, stats have shown that those “blessed” with natural resources like oil and minerals are always struggling to stand on their own two feet as a society or nation. 

Their society is so pampered, they suffer the consequences of fragility and inflexibility. More insidious is complacency and the prevalence of internal strife, where what comes too easy from mother nature tends to corrupt what is inherent in our human nature.

So, adversity can define you. It can transform or destroy you. That is why it is only half truth when they say that you give a man a fish and you feed him a day. But you teach him how to fish, well, you feed him a lifetime. That much resonated with me, especially the second part. Yet, after you teach him (or her), the next step is to go out there to fish. Fish don’t come to you, or throw themselves onto dry ground for you. 

And when you do go out there, don’t expect calm waters all day long. At times, things are beyond your control; like storms, they can wreck your day or catch. What-chew gonna do then?

That is the greatest struggle for anyone, at any age, right? And to be consistent about it, pushing through it with grit and determination, well, that can’t exactly be taught. That was what Lawrence meant when he said: “the bottom line is that all Singaporeans have to play their part and not just rely on the government measures and policies.” Each doing their part. 

Yet, between giving someone a fish, teaching to catch fish and rowing out there to haul in the catch (you can see how the transition subtly makes the giver or tutor unnecessary over time), there are many seasonal gaps that the young have to bridge. And it can be a real struggle too.

Yes, those upper class families will have it easier, but not those languishing at the lower rungs of society. That is in fact the mother of all gaps, and for some societies, especially the developed ones, with very high wealth and social inequalities, it’s really never the twain shall meet. The struggle for them is even harder. 

That alone is a major factor contributing to our age of disillusionment, especially for the young.

Sometimes, when I do sit down at some of these conferences, when they do speak about positivity and encouraging pick-me-ups, I always feel something is missing. In other words, that gap between the speaker and the listeners is just visceral, raw and real. 

Well, I am not giving excuses for procrastination or not breaking the inertia when self-mastery and self-responsibility are called for, but the young today are facing very different existential challenges from the young of past generations before them.

In a timely article today, entitled “Young graduates: Could economic and political setbacks radicalise a generation?”, a group of writers came forward to spell out a very different zeitgeist our younger generation are living in (or confronting). 

Apart from the wealth gap, they are struggling with their disillusionment with politics, as in the division and often juvenile antics of various political parties and leaders. They essentially felt “abandoned” by politicians. And the jobless rate has changed too, not on the rosy side though. For those under-25s, it rose from 11.5% to 12.95% (between Feb last year and this June, according to OECD countries). 

“In Britain, people aged under 30 are now four times as likely to rent than they were two generations ago”. And a Cambridge University study in 2020 shows that “faith in the democratic system had already experienced its steepest fall even amongst those aged 18 to 34 in the eve of the pandemic”. 

In one of the litany of lamentations, a technical analyst Niharika Singh, who emigrated to the US from India at age two, said: “My parents have literally said that they don’t want me and my sister to settle down here with our families eventually. This country has not lived up to the expectations we had, which is so jarring.”

I know Niharika is talking about America, that is, the nation’s social safety net is too narrow, but in Singapore, there is some parallel when it comes to the high cost of living, the income and social gaps, the struggles of the poor, and the hidden merit-fueled society, which outwardly embraces those less credentialed, yet inwardly conveniently shifts one’s prejudices, but not jettison it all out of his/her system. 

Alas, discrimination still exists, whether it is by merit, by age and/or by class. I won’t be surprised if some Singaporean parents offer the same advice Niharika’s parents gave to her - “don’t settle down here”. 

Well, our ministers can sit in an air-conditioned hall to encourage, and that is no doubt necessary and timely. But, the reality for many can be too discouraging for a seasonal pat-on-the-back speech. Good intention aside, it is the bleak ground condition that drowns out the positive, celebratory cheers by the side. 

What’s more, with the decline in religious faith amongst the young, and the climate emergency and random flooding, akan datang to a flat land near you, well, you sometimes have to squint real hard to find the silver lining in the gathering storm. 

Let me nevertheless end with what one graduate of anthropology in London, Hannah Tasker, said. ““I’ve learnt that “political” doesn’t have to mean political parties”...It means whether there is justice, whether the country and economy and society are working for everyone.”” Hannah however said, “it is not.”

That’s true. It still leaves much to be desired. Imperfect, screwed-up, world right? And Hannah and the many voices of disillusionment have all got a point. 

But, after all’s said, and when the rubber of self-mastery meets the plain hard road, I can’t say Lawrence is wrong. 

For who can argue with saying that “it’s not all gloom and doom”? Or, who can dispute the adage that “one could deal with adversity by letting it define, destroy or strengthen one”? Isn’t it true that we have come so far because we have not allowed adversity to destroy us, but strengthen us? 

They say people who are experiencing sadness, see the world more realistically and clearly. I guess that is why it is said, “blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Truly, out of the ashes, one eventually rises. 

So, at every crossroad or intersection of one’s life, we have to challenge ourselves, and pick up the broken pieces to start all over. Every step counts, every step to our own recovery. 

And yes, the best way to predict the future is to create it. But you have to want to see or imagine it first. More importantly, there must be a future in the first place where all people of all races, classes and cultures can have a fair stake in it. No one wants to labour in vain, without hope. 

I guess, we will just have to work together, because what doesn’t kill us indeed makes us stronger. And we have to decide to persist to make it work for all, and for all our future generations, in one group solidarity, towards vision and hope.

 

Religion and better mental health.

2,270 participants. That was what it took to come out with a finding about religion and positive mental health (“PMH”). The study was carried out by IMH in collaboration with Saw Swee Hock School of Public Health.

What is PMH? According to lead researcher Janhavi Vaingankar, 45, it generally refers to "a person's attitudes towards themselves, ability to handle life's surprises and ability to reach their true potential and resist stress".

To me, it is a deep soul searching personality, one that is intensely introspective and is aligned with a worldview (or a metanarrative) that not only provides solace and resilience to the individual, but also faith and hope to move forward in life (one step/day at a time).

So, are those with religion, or believe in a purpose beyond themselves and the world they engage in, cope better with life’s circumstances or trials? Well, the study seems to point to that. 

Reported by Cheryl Doo, it reads: “People with a religion were found to have a higher total PMH score, faring better in spirituality, emotional support and general coping. As spirituality includes practices like prayer and religious beliefs such as trust in a higher being, it was not surprising that people with a religion had stronger spirituality, says Ms Vaingankar.”

And FYI, the study measures six aspects of PMS: “General coping, emotional support, spirituality, interpersonal skills, personal growth and autonomy, and global affect, which is the experience of positive moods such as being calm and happy.”

Lesson? One - should we now go and sign up for a church, mosque or temple, do some good deeds and then wait for favour to pour on us in this life and the next? 

Well, being a Christian since 1985, I know intimately what religion can do to a soul. At least, that knowledge is personal to me. Like a fingerprint, no two religious experiences are alike. That is my caveat. 

To every belief, there is a dark and a bright side. A study like that is generally on point. You can’t believe in isolation. No religious man or woman is an island by itself. We are an archipelago of closely knit islands, pandemic or otherwise, collectively coping courageously in a sea of uncertainty, disappointment and doubt. 

The basis of religion is to bind a community together with a timeless purpose beyond this world. Being a social animal, body warmth always brings soul healing, cults and false teachings notwithstanding. 

Cheryl observed: ““That people with a religion had stronger emotional support indicates that "interpersonal aspects of PMH are stronger among people with religious affiliations than those without"”.

However, in the continuum of belief, at one extreme you have the martyr and on the other extreme you have the pew warmer. Under all circumstances, only the martyr will die for and with the faith. For the pew warmer, there is a price to his/her devotion. When it gets too high, you can be sure that one by one they will fall away, or remain in a suspended faith state.

Well, I do not know how the 2,270 participants are lined up for the study. What is their level of belief and faith. But there is a deeper aspect to belief or religion that can make or break a person. In general, most of us believe because of the community (and some of us stray also because of the community. It’s a double-edged sword, leaning in favour of community, of course). 

The binding communal effect of religion is irresistible to the faith subscriber. People attract people, masses draw masses, and crowd huddles with crowd. That is the interpersonal aspect of religion, and in that connection, ties, hope and faith are build up. 

Sometimes, it is an involuntary knock-on effect like the domino effect, or it’s something like the time when preacher Benny Hinn swung his coat at the congregation and that managed to pull down a whole row of front seaters, some falling due to gravitational reasons.

So, between the martyrs and the pew warmers, there is the goldilocks zone of religious belief comprising the unquestioning believers and the inquisitive ones. And their level of bliss depends on the level of ignorance they are prepared to bear by faith. 

Because, ultimately, the omnipotence is largely unknowable, and this has already been foretold in Deuteronomy 29:29: “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.”

Yet, having said all that, here is where the faith of the martyrs leave little doubt that that Deuteronomic scripture is not a source of frustration, but one of comfort and hope. It is also a source of strength and courage to them. 

They are indeed a rare breed in the continuum of belief, and their faith is unshakable because they have a resilient and all-encompassing worldview that endures through good and bad times, blissful and stressful times. In fact, quite quizzically, their hope is so anchored that it is in the furnace of fire that they shine the brightest.

Religion for them is more than just a community of many. It is however first and foremost a community with one, that is, with the object of their affection and devotion. That is the true price of their faith, one that they are prepared to pay because for them, it is real, timeless and nothing in this world compares. 

That is the true prize of religion, and it is hard to study that kind of faith because it is not just about community, that is, the interpersonal aspects that yield better mental health. It is about a soul so transformed by a transcendental purpose that mentally, emotionally and physically, they are simply set apart from the things of the world as the latter goes strangely dim in the light of what is ahead of them.

 

Kindness with a touch of consideration.

The message is simple: kindness without a touch of consideration can lead to distress. 

Reported by Malavika Menon, the title captures this admonishment well: “Don’t post online about vulnerable folk, social workers urge.” I guess it is a matter of time before society realises that even an act of kindness can be carried too far. 

MSF minister Sun Xueling said: “When you put up a video or a photo, apart from the fact that you might be infringing on the privacy as well as confidentiality of the vulnerable person, sometimes you may be bringing unwanted attention to the vulnerable person.“

Another commentator, Ms Siti Rohana Hanson, manager of Social Service Office @ Bedok/Geylang Serai said: “To have quite personal information published, it brings them distress. They are out in the community and people may look at them differently.”

I think this message is important, because kindness is not an unqualified good, and there are risks to the ones we seek to help. Causing them distress is a very real outcome. That would defeat the purpose of the kindness being shown to them, even if it is one-off. 

Mr Brian Monteiro, manager of shelters and programmes at Catholic Welfare Services, who conducts regular night walks with other members of CWS in an outreach called Night Mission, said: “The lives if these vulnerable individuals do not become better after their information is shared online. Often, their faces are publicised, they are questioned and they move away from their familiar locations.”

He added: “They do not ask for money or pity, only that they are treated with dignity and respect. They are still human beings and fellow Singaporeans.”

Lesson? Just one. 

I guess we will be well-advised to lean our kind hearts to the wisdom of Matthew 6: -

“...But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”

That is why our kindness has to be tempered with consideration. At times, kindness done under the bliss of anonymity is an enduring reward for both parties, that is, the giver and the receiver alike. For the receiver, it is the benefit of privacy protected and the kindness extended. 

Here is a sobering reminder from a homeless man: “When people take photos or videos of us, posting them on social media with our faces shown, our families will know about us and be affected.”

For the giver, it is the simplicity of charity that deepens the soul onto the anchor of authenticity. Such act of anonymous kindness is unembellished, and its intention is unalloyed (pure). 

Imagine that, the giving hand is done without the other hand even knowing it. It is carried out in ceremonial secrecy. And it is of such anonymity that is devoid of any fanfare and the complicated emotions that come with it. Thus, the “reward” is a lighter conscience knowing you have made a small difference in a stranger’s life. 

At most times, publicity muddles the waters and blunts the motivation. In other words, it risks adulterating the initial agenda. Mind you, kindness does have its own KPI and we may unwittingly turn it into a competitive or performance sport because we secretly relish the attention we are getting from it, online and offline. 

So when kindness mutates into a hierarchy of conscious rankings, we would have turned it into a transactional act that swallows whole the soul that is initially seeking for a purpose undefiled by worldly benchmarks that rewards sensorially, and most superficially. 

Abraham Yeo, co-founder of Homeless Hearts, makes this honest observation: “Ultimately we draw the line at what’s the agenda behind posting photos or videos of these individuals - is it to raise awareness or for people’s own agendas?” 

Of course, there will be times when publicity with discretion and discernment is required, to raise public awareness, to raise funds, to right a wrong, and/or to push for legislative action for sustainable impact, but there has to be a balance in and consideration for the kindness offered to the recipient. 

In fact, MSF strongly encourages members of public to refer individuals who may need help to MSF and “our partners will coordinate and render support to ensure that they get the necessary assistance.”

I believe the article targets individual acts, most times done spontaneously, by people with a kind heart. And we must always give them a benefit of a doubt, because even in the soft terrain that a kind soul is treading on, there are uncharted minefields - like the lures of popularity in social media - that the unwitting may fall into. 

Alas, I like to think that our passion for kindness is like a calm river stream, which is refreshing to both our soul and the soul of the receiver. But when that passion develops a deep undertow running underneath, we risk being pulled into it and the outcome may be self-defeating.

 

Scholarship, meritocracy and equality.

162 students received their scholarships yesterday, and some of them are those who have worked their way up from Normal stream to ITE and Poly. Their stories are inspiring. 

Steven, 19, comes from a family of 10 and his mother is the sole breadwinner. His father had to stop working due to health reasons. Steven was an active member of the student council at ITE Graduation 2021 ceremony yesterday. Steven received the Tay Eng Soon Scholarship.

Fiqri Nur Haziq Abu Bakar is another. He was a nurse during Covid-19 pandemic. The 21-year-old graduated from Ngee Ann Poly last year and “spent six months caring for migrant workers infected by Covid-19.” Fiqri was from the normal stream and he hopes this inspires other students from the normal stream too. 

Another ITE student, Koh Yan Xi, 19, also received a scholarship, the Ngee Ann Kongsi Gold Medal in recognition of her achievements. She had “to juggle a part-time job at McDonald’s with co-leading a class entrepreneurship project to sell vacuum-packed soup and using the proceeds to purchase food for school cleaners.” 

There are many more, and I guess that is the trampoline effect where, regardless of which station in life you are from, you stand an equal chance to bounce your way up just as long as you work towards it and don’t give up.

Let me share that I once had a conversation with a young adult and he told me that if one doesn’t work hard in Singapore, he will end up in ITE or Poly. I shook my head and told him that education ought to build character first and foremost before knowledge. For without character, your knowledge is all puffed up and it serves no purpose in society except to divide it further. 

We as a society suffer the consequences of our own pride, and a prideful mindset alienates humanity. It is not just self-serving, it is self-destroying. 

Ultimately, we can choose either to look at society from a one-track, chronologically challenged mindset, or look at it from a wide lens when the sun shines on everyone, regardless of schools, status or stream. 

But, what is chronologically challenged Mike? Well, it is a clock preset by the meritocratic discipline master with a deadline or quota to meet. Each child is thus put through the grind, that same and uniform grind, even when each child is gifted differently. One indiscriminate ruler is therefore used to measure all heights, even though each child grows at their own pace. 

And then that child is forced to compete with the others, while he carries loads of expectations on his back, all the time hoping to make his parents proud, and trying in vain to find acceptance and a sense of identity and belonging in a society that is wound up by a less than kinder development clock. 

This brings me to what Minister Chan said the day before. He invited all parents to take stock. He asked us to have “more frank conversations with our children and families on the definition of success.”

He took himself as an example. “As a parent myself, I have come to realise that success must be defined by helping my children realise their own potential, developing their own strengths and helping them to be confident in themselves.”

He said: “The greatest assurance parents can give their children is to provide them with confidence to find their own way.”

Those words are power words. They are a good reminder for parents with children, and a timely comfort for children yearning for understanding. 

Let me just say that I have always thought LKY was right to say that a rising economic tide raises all boats. He is still right about that now, for what good is democracy if you can’t even feed your family. 

But, like meritocracy, if it goes unchecked, or on autopilot, it risks crossing a threshold where the society is divided, between the haves and have-nots, the rich and the poor. It is just a matter of time. 

And the spillover effect of that is a progressive downward slide, which yields another risk, that is, a society in crisis. We are in fact leading the trend here as our inequality gap is one of the widest, compounded by a high cost of living. 

While Minister Chan made good sense when he said that “the greatest assurance parents can give their children is to provide them with confidence to find their own way,” yet if the landscape that the child is supposed to navigate has not changed, or has changed little, with a gaping income/social hole, then isn’t the child embarking on an impossible journey which may just bring him back to square one?

And that is why I highlighted the scholarships awarded to students of different backgrounds, and that is one of the crucial steps (amongst many) to taking a wide lens view of things where the sun truly shines on all, on each and every child, regardless. 

For the wide lens’ view sees the whole journey of a child’s potential, while the microscopic one sees only a particular point in time, and on that narrow/rigid basis, it judges a life that has yet to bloom for a lifetime.

 

Helping kids deal with trauma.

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Helping kids deal with traumatic events. That’s the news in ST Life this morning. And yes, it’s about RVHS incident: a life taken, another broken, and a nation grieves together. 

Now, it’s time to console and bravely live on. I guess that is why the word ”encourage” is made up of “en” which means “within, in” and what we are familiar with “courage”. Together, it yields en-courage.

It is one person putting another within the strength and hope of courage, thereby confronting trials together, with a warm hand to hold as we move forward. 

We all need that sometimes. The young and the old, the living and the dying. For who can fully understand why things happen the way they did? Why the innocent bears the pain? Why a marriage fails? Why tomorrow seems so bleak? Why we can’t let go of the past? And why is God silent? Or, is anyone out there? 

We strengthen the heart by encouraging it. We heal the brokenness with the courage that hope brings. We live a day by faith, and walk in step with it. Ultimately hope is an invisible force lifting every step from the ankle up, giving us just enough to take the next step and the next. 

Moving forward for many takes many pauses. Within each pause is the call for encouragement, a cry for a warm hand to hold. Within each pause is a call for understanding, a call to share our brokenness. And we need to know that we are not alone, that someone has been there and is ready to stand in the gap. 

In the papers yesterday, Janice Tay wrote an article entitled “Wishes after a storm”. Janice is a manager at Shimaya Stays, a machiya accommodation venture in Kyoto.

Janice wrote about a yearly festival in Japan. “Every year, to celebrate the summer festival of Tanabata, Kodai-ji, a temple in Kyoto, invites nursery and kindergarten children to make a wish on tanzaku. The bright strips of paper, along with other decorations, are then tied to bamboo set out for everyone to enjoy.”

“But this year, a storm the night before the event strips the papers away. By late afternoon of the next day, a temple worker is still trying to restore the wishes to the bamboo.”

The children are persistent when it comes to hanging their wishes on tanzaku. The storm may blow away the strips of wishes or hope, but they would return the next day to look for them. The kids, together with their parents, will enquire with the temple worker about their tanzaku. 

““A family unable to find the right tanzaku asks the worker for help. He dashes back into the temple, returning some time later with a handful of paper. "This is all that's left inside, I'm afraid," he says.””

“He still has stacks of decorations to string up but he makes the time to go through the strips one by one with the family. And the missing tanzaku is found. The wish is duly read out: "I want to be a giant koppa."”

Koppa? Well, according to Janice, it is supposed to spell “Kappa” and the five-year-old boy’s wishes was to be a demon with webbed hands. But that’s ok, a wish is a wish. 

Janice also observed that “a little girl cannot find her wish. She squats next to a stalk of bamboo, crestfallen.”

“The vendor tries to cheer her up, telling her about the great winds in the night. She keeps the stream of conversation going, her busy hands never stopping as she makes sure the child doesn't feel alone.”

We adults do the same thing too. We harbour many wishes, hopes. We tie the tanzaku in our hearts. Yet, not all of them are alike though. Some of us wish our own version of “koppa”, that is, wishes that carry darker undertones. But that is how we cope, the best way we know how.

And yes, we do lose sight of them too when the storms in our life come. The wind blowing them away. Some of us let them go, because we don’t see much hope in those wishes. They are just wishes. Vain hope?

Maybe we need it more than ever now. Hope is like living waters to our soul. We need the refreshing stream to uplift spirit. And even going through hard times, we should never stop hoping. Like the kids’ enthusiasm in seeking for theirs, we should allow their enthusiasm to encourage our hearts. They never gave up looking for hope, neither should we. 

As we encourage our children, their innocence encourages us too. Their simple faith lifts ours up. We too need to know we are not alone. And at times, we hold their hand to move forward with courage, and they too hold our hand to move us forward with them. One step at a time, and together, never losing sight of hope.

 

President Halimah - help youth facing mental health issues.

 

She may be a shoo-in for president, but last Saturday, she came forward and made a lot of sense. Prompted by the tragic RVHS incident, President Halimah noted that the 16-year-old had attempted suicide 2 years ago. He was then referred to IMH for treatment. 

“Attempted suicides are a real cry for help. We don’t know the full details, particularly whether he had continued to receive psychiatric help or medication in order to deal with his mental health after that episode,” Mdm Halimah said. 

“We also don’t know whether it was due to school or...other factors affecting him as the causes of mental breakdowns are numerous and sometimes there is more than one factor at play.”

That made sense. I can think of a metaphor here: An avalanche starts with a flake of snow. And as it goes downhill, it adds to its weight, burden and size, until it comes to a stage where you can’t stop it anymore. To the young sufferer, it has become monolithic, having a mind of its own, and the only way forward for an avalanche is to continue its destined downward path, until it hits rock bottom. 

Indeed, many factors contribute to the fall, and they all add up, to give it the oppressive strength to overpower, to rob whatever sliver of hope the child may still desperately cling on to. 

However, Mdm Halimah confronted the issue head on. She singled out parents, teachers, school and society at large. She said we are “ill-equipped to deal with the situation.” 

“”For parents,” she said, “the great difficulty is in not knowing whether the child is perhaps going through a growth phase, as "all adolescents with growth hormones raging through their bodies sometimes act out", or whether it is because of something much deeper.””

For teachers, well, they are already overloaded with work, “it is not possible to delve deeply into the issues affecting one child, which will require close monitoring, observation and engagement.”

And lastly...school/society. She mentioned how society has imposed high expectations on the young. She said: “We expect to see a linear progression in their performance with no interruption whatsoever, like some well-oiled machinery.”

"Parents compare all the time. We often say that a well-developed, healthy child is better than a troubled child who seems to be shooting all As but is suffering, but we actually send different signals to them.”

Yes, I concur. The signals are frustratingly mixed. We are, in reality, how our society has wound us up to be. You wind it up anti-clockwise, for example, and you get a society that is, well, none the wiser. 

Our child is trying his/her darnest shooting all As, but is suffering, missing some academic marks, and disappointing us. They feel that they have to earn our affection, and even successfully jumping one academic hoop, with many more to go in their young life, they still harbour this crippling sense that they are just not good enough, because like Mdm Halimah said, “parents compare all the time.” 

In a race to one finishing line after another, they are surely many running behind and many running in front, because there is only on top spot, one silver medalist and one bronze consolation. 

In fact, in an intensely meritocratic and competitive society like ours, it is better for our child’s mental health to stand one step below the silver medalist, because to get 2nd place and then miss the mark by that much (or that little) is going to oppress the soul of the poor child, and his/her parents will be consumed or obsessed with the question, why can’t you come out tops?

Alas, the child is called by society’s many impersonal coaches to jump hoops so that at the end of one hoop is a hug and a smile waiting for them from the one they desperately seek approval from. But it never lasts, that is, the affection like milk and canned food, has an almost instant expiry date, before they are let go again to earn that same mechanical affection by jumping over another hoop and another and another. 

Mdm Halimah puts it well, even against the same society that was the handmaiden of her pathway to the presidential top spot: “we expect to see a linear progression in their performance with no interruption whatsoever, like some well-oiled machinery.”

As an well-oiled machinery, we are all its nuts and bolts, the cogs and wheels in its mechanical flow, chugging along, to ensure it doesn’t deviate from its one-track, linear pathway to superior economic growth and maintaining that first world status. No derailment should stop that flow, and for every derailment, we just have to power the speed up to compensate (if not overcompensate).

This is where Mdm Halimah also observes: “There is still so much ignorance, stereotyping and prejudice in our society against people with mental health issues that parents fear doing more harm than good to their children's future by seeking treatment, which they delay with disastrous consequences."

Well, that ignorance and prejudice flow from how the society is wound up. It still goes anti-clockwise and we are thus none the wiser, or we simply refuse to face up to the reality/truth that something has to give in our relentless one-track advancement.

Let me end with the presidential advice: "It takes a tragedy like this to start us thinking deeply again about the mental health of our young. Most of our children can cope, are resilient and will grow up well. But not all children are the same. Some do need more help and not just from the school, but from everyone."

Yes, in a race, when you fire the first shot, you expect to see winners and losers at the end of it. That finish-line red ribbon is made for only the winner’s chest, and all the others, well, they lost. And we will compare, even if we pretend it really doesn’t matter, because comparing, like the coronavirus, is just highly infectious, and it runs in our veins in a society that is fiercely competitive, always striving for that top spot. 

Indeed, we are a well-oiled machinery, and that is from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

 

KTV cover saga 1.

OYK is disappointed by the KTV cluster. 42 reported cases yesterday was linked the KTV cluster. 

He said: “While this is disappointing, we are also not entirely surprised that clusters like these will pop up.” 

(Well, I am two minds about him using the verb “pop”. I would rather he say, “have come to light” or “have emerged”). 

Anyway, memes online are abuzz with the news about commingling married/dating/single men and hostesses being infected by Covid-19. I am sure you have come across a few of them in your newsfeed “pop up”, right? 

But OYK is no less very troubled and disappointed by the latest cluster infection, as the govt has ““prohibited nightfalls activities involving “hostess services, dice games and all these” for more than a year because of the risk involved when people come into close contact.””

And in a deliberately dimmed environment like a KTV lounge situated along an equally dimmed KTV belt, you can expect Covid-19 to work its way with fluid efficiency on every horny guest and inviting hostess. 

Sure, where there is honey, you can expect busy bees. For our appetites once released, has to find satisfaction, and there are honey pots all around, if one bothers to look for them in hard-for-light-to-shine places. 

Indeed, when there is a will, there is a way, that is, a way for infection to pop up. 

Thus far, no places are spared the covid raid. You name it, restaurants, country clubs, workers’ dormitories, shopping centres, airport terminals, and even hospitals, where frontline fighters are pushing back the breach.

 

And yes, we can’t leave our churches out, a place where covid has also defiantly stepped onto holy ground with impunity. Covid is like the Midas’ touch, but in this case, wherever they rear their ugly head, the place is shut down (instead of turning to gold, it turns hollow). 

Yet, these places do not pose the same challenges as KTV lounges. Here’s why according to expert observers.

First, these places may be banned due to the pandemic, but you can’t legislate lust. We are all guilty of it. Men are often subdued by much lesser things, though their achievement reaches to the sky. 

And that’s where impulse control comes to his timely aid. Most men therefore take cold showers, huddle up with a private scripture reading session, or find solace in the familiar bosom of their marital partner or C&B dates. But, not everyone is able to wish away that carnal uprising. And that becomes the challenge of preventing/controlling the KTV clusters. 

Second, the issue is also with the supply side. Professor Teo Yik Ying said: “Even though these lounges were mainly serving food. I suspect a lot of the activities would be similar to those of nightclubs.” 

And those activities involve what is colloquially known as “butterfly”. The hostess, as unwitting carrier agent, flits from one cubicle to another, splitting her time between multiple guests, “who each pay her a sum of about $50 to $100 at the end of the night.” 

At times, in order to earn more, butterflies move between multiple nightclubs/KTV in one night, thereby “going to lounges that have more guests if their usual haunt sees lower patronage on certain night.” You can thus say that every successful pollination brings about a handsome remuneration. 

And thirdly, it centres around this quote by Seneca/Lucretius: -

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light”.

Dr Leong Hoe Nam observes: “...the KTV cluster could be a weak link in Singapore’s fight against Covid-19, especially since the hostesses and patrons may be trying to lie low, making it difficult for the authorities to ringfence those who are infected. Some hostesses could be working illegally.”

So, contact tracing is much harder in such places. Patrons (and hostesses alike) prefer to remain anonymous because of the shame associated with the activities they are engaging in. Hostesses would also not want to name names for fear that such leak would betray/expose her regular clientele, some of whom might be openly happily married.

Mind you, this is unlike going into a church to seek repentance, or for some, to bathe in the light of ostentatious redemption. This is however a place that is intentionally set dark to keep more than just the kids away; yet, it is heartily embraced by grown ups. 

That is where the above quote comes in, with stark metaphorical irony - “...the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light”.

So, I wish OYK all the best reining in the untethered appetites of men. And throwing the legal books at them is the most pragmatic solution; a technocratic go-to handbook for citizenry compliance. 

At times like this, maybe the hand of the law is more urgently needed over the heart of gracious reform. And if you can’t address the real tragedy of men who are afraid of the light, you just have to contend with the second best option of occasionally raiding the darkness with the shocking beam of the law.