Gangtang's 27 years' search for his son.

 

I wonder, what does it take to feel like a father for some of us?

Well, for Guo Gangtang, 51, it took him 24 years of searching for his son, riding on his motorbike, and covering more than 500,000 across China. Yes, 24 years of unrelenting search, you heard it right. 

In 1997, Guo Zhen (Xinzhen) was abducted in front of the family home in Shandong, “where he was playing unattended...Traffickers snatched the boy and sold him to a family in central China.” He was only 2.5 years old then. 

Guo Zhen, now 26, was found via a DNA test and that ended Gangtang’s 24 years search, where he quit his job, “and criss-crossed the country on a motorbike with large flags bearing his son’s photo tied to the back.”

It is reported that “since launching a DNA database of missing family members in 2016, police said they have helped more than 2,600 individuals kidnapped as children – some more than 60 years ago – to find their biological parents.”

Mind you, the father’s search for his boy had garnered much nationwide and worldwide attention. Andy Lau even starred in a movie about Gangtang’s 24-year quest titled “Lost and Love.” 

Andy played Gangtang. And Andy was “extremely happy and inspired” to hear the news that Gangtang had found his son.It was a tear-soaking moment for Gangtang and his wife, when they hugged their son, who is now a teacher living in central province Henan. 

Gangtang exclaimed: “Now the child has been found, everything can only be happy from now on.”

It is also reported that “across the years, Guo has helped seven other families find their lost children and raised awareness about child trafficking – still a taboo topic in China.”

Lesson? One.

China’s one child policy has taken its toll on the soul of millions of parents. It has also resulted in untold pain to grieving mothers who have to standby to watch their own newborn daughter being put to death or abandoned, just so that the tradition of having a son to carry the family name would be realised, by hook, crook, or worse, infanticide. 

What’s more, by 2020, the gender imbalance was unthinkable, with 30 to 40 million surplus men. That is more than five times the population here. “In China at the time of the policy shifted to two-child policy, a staggering 119 boys were born for every 100 girls.” (The global average is 105 boys to every 100 girls). 

I write about this Nemo-like search for one’s son this morning because I can’t imagine the depth of love and devotion Gangtang had for his son, that is, in the 24 years of searching for him. He once told the Chinese media this: “Only by hitting the road looking for my son, do I feel I am a father.” 

Imagine giving up a quarter of a century of your life to embark on this quest, putting your son’s face on a flag, and travelling more than 500,000 km, without even knowing whether your baby (you knew for only 2.5 years) could ever be found. 

Imagine even further another love - if love is the right word. This time the love of another “father” who had bought your abducted son for a price and then raising him up as his very own, caring for him over the next 24 years, presumably hiding the truth from him, and refusing to come to terms with the real possibility that you as his biological father have never given up looking for him, travelling all over China, having to battle highway robbers, sleeping under bridges and even begging when your money ran out, just so as to fulfill that one wish to reunite with your only son. 

Well, juxtapositioning the two ironies together makes for such fact-is-stranger-than-fiction reality that my mind (as a father myself) cannot fully wrap around, can you? 

At this poignant moment, I came across the words of author Li Yiyun: -

“Being a mother (or father) must be the saddest yet the most hopeful thing in the world, falling into a love that, once started would never end.”

Indeed, some love is forever. Amidst the unspeakable pain is the unspeakable joy of a hope that never dies. 

Truly, I am so glad Gangtang and his son have reunited. And as he said, ““Only by hitting the road looking for my son, do I feel I am a father.” 

He is one father who never really knew his son, never saw the various milestones of growth in his young life, and was never able to touch and hug him to say “I love you so much”. In fact, that journey he took was the closest thing to fatherhood to him. And sadly, his son will never fully understand that love that never dies, but was nevertheless a love that inspired many fathers (and mothers) to never take their own child for granted. 

It is a love that reminded us daily as fathers that we should always treasure our journey with our kid, because it is a journey not solely of the imagination and hope, but one where we are fortunate enough to witness, embrace and celebrate every critical crossroad of their growth and overcoming, as one family.

 

A dedication to Kenneth & Adeline - The Last Resort.

They don't have much.

They live from hand to mouth. Their savings are fast depleting. Yet, they trust God to provide, from one day to the another. Now, that's the example of living by faith in our modern world.

Kenneth, 46, and Adeline, 39, provide shelter for teenagers and young adults. "Most come from abusive and dysfunctional families, and have nowhere to go. Many, ranging in age from 18 to their mid-20s, are too old for institutional care or fostering."

Adeline said: "We want young people to know if there is really nowhere else to go, there is a place for you. But we will first sit them down to see if there are other options."

Janice Tai, the Social Affair correspondent who reported the story, wrote that: "There are five bedrooms, and stayers usually get their own room or share it with one other person. There are no rules, and they are free to help themselves to anything, and can stay as long as they have to."

Todate, they have housed more than 35 young people over 10 years, with some staying for one day and others to three years. 

The four-storey terrace house they are living in is a rented apartment. The rent is $5000 per month and Kenneth and Adeline depend on the community for gifts and practical assistances. 

Neighbours cook meals for them. Some bring food and snacks. Meat suppliers send meat regularly. Others came to donate old furniture.

Kenneth said: "We live month by month on goodwill donations from friends and we believe God will meet our needs if this work is to continue."

Before they moved into the terrace house, they rented a three-room flat as a makeshift refuge for the lost and in need. After that, they rented a four-room and then a five-room in Sengkang to house more people. 

Currently, there are three young people living there. "One moved in just yesterday (Saturday), needing a place to stay as his mother suffers from drug and alcohol addiction. A few years ago, he ran away from Boys' Town, which felt like a "prison", and stayed with friends or slept in the streets.""

The other two occupants are a 25-year-old single mother with a 10-week-old baby and a 19-year-old girl who has been in and out of IMH.

Money is always tight for the good Samaritan couple as their monthly expenses came up to $7000 per month, and they have left their jobs to do this full time. 

But they are determined to press on as they, as Christians, "felt the call to go ahead."

Lesson? Just one.

I share this story because it is real. It is the counterculture that Jesus is talking about. It runs counter to the calling of the world where the preoccupation is somewhere else - in the limelight, in the billboards, in the big screens, in the grand pulpit, in the exclusive corporate office perched at the top, in the lavished mansions, and in the frantic uptick of the stock market. 

If there is one thing that describes well Kenneth and Adeline's commitment to the call, it is captured in the Sermon on the Mount. 

Essentially, it is about being the salt and light of the world, about works of mercy and compassion, about tireless and selfless giving, about living the Kingdom of God in this world by example, about blessings beyond the material for living a righteous life, and about servant leadership, a heart of vulnerability and humility, and a love for making small differences that inspire the whole society. 

Of course, not everyone is given this call, and not everyone is right for it. 

For when the sower plants the seed on good and deep soil, some will bloom thirty fold and others sixty fold. They will transform society with their own diverse gifts/works in different ways. We all touch lives in our own way in our own time. 

But I believe the heart is the same. It is a heart that seeks after His righteousness, His Kingdom on earth. As Jesus puts it, this heart gives to the poor, helps the widows, and takes care of the orphans. 

That is true religion, and anything apart from that is the excesses of a heart that seeks only to profit self. 

So, the heart of Kenneth and Adeline is indeed the good soil that bears much fruit. 

The lives they have changed will be the enduring testimony of what true religion can achieve when the heart is humbled, submitted and transformed. 

And when Adeline was asked "why she bothered caring for other people's children, including babies," she showed Janice this message from a teenager (Vincent Moh, 20) who used to live with them:-

"Yo, this is random but whenever I think about my past, I am always so grateful to know you and Ken, who led me to the right path."

Alas, at times, we all need to be shown the right path, whether as someone's children, their friends, or even as strangers in this case. 

This empowering nudge may be in the form of an occasional encouragement, a quiet presence in times of pain, a helping hand when needed, a hug to impart confidence and assurance, and in Kenneth and Adeline's case, a life shared with another under one roof for as long as it takes. Amen. Cheerz.

If you save a life, you save the world.

The Talmud has a saying: "If you save a life, you save the world."

This is true. Look at the 12 little Wild Boars and their beloved coach. All saved by the Navy Seal rescuers, ready to put their lives on the line.

One diver Saman Gunan even gave his life to save them. Indeed, the spirit of "no greater love than this" is deeply encouraging, and we are indebted to such exceptional bravery and sacrifice. 

We also have the local community coming together to lend any aid they could humanly provide. 

In the past 17 days, the world witnessed the best of humanity at work. One local farmer even cheerily allowed the drained water from the cave to overflood her field knowing that it would ruin her harvest. 

In a press conference, this heart-warming observation was made:- 

"People who washed clothes for the Seal unit. People who brought up noodles to the rescue base. People who picked up trash in the area. All Thais will remember this, and this should be a lesson in how Thailand should move forward in the future." 

And, if I may say, how the world should move forward in the future. 

In fact, one local resident, Mr Thirawit, 44, told ST this: "In Mae Sai, nobody is watching the World Cup. Instead, they are watching the rescue operation and counting down on how many have been rescued. This is definitely more exciting than the World Cup."

Levity aside, the world community also sent their best to assist in the rescue effort. It reports that "the rescue team numbered in the hundreds, and included divers and specialists from around the world, who came as soon as they heard to lend their help."

And the Talmudic saying here is multiplied manifold since it is not just one life saved, but many, including the doctor and the divers who went into the cave to provide the kids and coach with food supplies. And the world is better for it, she is richer, brighter and more resilient. 

The stories of their courage and love will send ripples through the chronology of time. 

One foreign diver said that the kids were "incredibly strong". "They are getting forced to do something that no kid has ever done before. It is not in any way normal for kids to go cave diving at age 11."

One BBC reporter (Mr Karadzic) who had been stationed near the cave and helping to guide the people through the terrain said this with great relief: -

"I cannot understand how cool these small kids are, you know? Thinking about how they have been kept in a small cave for two weeks, they haven't seen their mums. Incredibly strong kids. Unbelievable, almost."

Lesson? Just one. 

There is saying that "altruism is like rings in the water when you toss a pebble. At first the circles are very small, then they get larger, and finally they embrace the entire surface of the ocean" (Alexandre Jollien). 

This is in line with the Talmud about how the world is saved by the souls of courage, of resilience and of an overcoming spirit. 

While this rescue effort is not an everyday event, the rich narrative it speaks about is what this world desperately needs to nudge it towards a better tomorrow for our children, that is, a world that is less about self and more about others, and a world that does not blindly chase after the mighty dollar, mindlessly betray relationships just because it is convenient, and callously hoards wealth to build an island of extravagance and arrogance to flaunt at all and sundry. 

Alas, the Tower of Babel is all about self-prominence, but Calvary is about self-sacrifice. And while the tower is gone, the one who hangs on the Cross is still a city of light on the hill. 

True, what this world need is not another lecture, another speech or another self-improvement seminar. 

The reality is, the self doesn't need any more improvement. It needs to put itself out there and make a difference, anywhere and everywhere, in the marriage, in the family, in the workplace, and in the community. 

Here is a fact: The world is looking for happiness, and many in the well-off estates have found it. 

A poll in 2014 noted that the rich in the developed countries are largely happy, secure and lacking in nothing. But this poll also noted that suicide rates are also higher amongst them. For example, suicide rates in high per capita Japan is higher than third world country like Sierra Leone. 

The poll researchers were in fact puzzled over this social phenomenon until they dug deeper and realised as a whole that happiness does not solve our existential vacuum. Meaning does.

The search of happiness is ultimately a mirage, because what is deemed as a lifelong search is no more than the refusal to admit (or see) that happiness has never been lost in the hugs of our loved ones, the longing for us in their eyes, the touch of true love, the joy of a simple meal together, and the holding of hands in times of adversity. 

For there is nothing more joyously rewarding than an overcoming love. 

Oh, what trial can separate the joy that priceless love brings to a soul who embraces it fully, unconditionally, and faithfully. 

The happiness that humans crave after is averse to adversity. It has little resilience for it. Its courage is limited to keeping suffering at a distance.

But a life of meaning, a life that is fortified by love and joy in overcoming, takes adversity as they come (and they will come) and grows in step with it, and outpaces it eventually. 

Such life of meaning never ceases to marvel and inspire the world (like the rescuers above) because they do not seek after the happiness of one (self) but spread joy of many. And that is why the saving of one life is saving of the world. 

Let me end with this thought. 

"I don't know what your destiny will be," said Albert Schweitzer to a group of schoolboys, "but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."

Truly, the best of humanity is when we give and not take, when we love and not hate, when we share and not hoard, and when we live an overcoming life for meaning and growth and not build a hedge around ourselves to keep adversity at bay. Cheerz