The Issue of the Heart - Monday Morning Musing.

Monday morning musing...

If you look at how Jesus led then and how a typical cell or home group in church leads today, the difference is glaring. 

Think about it. 

Jesus’ time with the twelve was everyday, all day, for three years. Altogether, if you do the maths, it’s about 9000 hours of life together, that is, sharing, sleeping and teaching, especially by example, by life encounters, by signs and wonders, by prayers, by rebuking, by silence, by calming the storms of life, and by having hearty meals together. 

How about us? How much time do we spent with our home group? 2 hours a session on a weekday? Some three hours? Every week, two hours? 

How about individual meet ups? Another two hours? And informal gathering, quarterly? 

So, put together, we have about the standard 2 hours a week for three years, and that comes up to 320 hours. 

And if we add those time of individual meetings (even though not in a group context) and the quarterly gatherings for three years, maybe we can push it up to 400 to 500 hours invested in a cell. 

Now, the comparison seems unfair because times are different. Jesus did tell them about the cost. He demanded that they counted it. The Cross they have to bear is not only about sacrifices of time, but family, loved ones too. He asked them to follow him, period, not meet up every week, have a hot meal, and go home after that. 

Today, our cell group experiences are so different. We confine ourselves in a room or a hall, and hand out prepared notes, with three or four questions to address or tackle. 

We have our standard worship and praise of 10 to 20 minutes. We go into introduction and then discussion. We end with a prayer and then fellowship before we call it a night. 

Cell group dynamics vary in intensity, depth and intimacy. 

Some gel well, others are largely a touch and go affair. Still others suffer from declining membership because the members don’t feel connected and the leaders are largely disillusioned, exhausted having to juggle work, family and ministry. 

But my point is this...no, it is not about the difference between Jesus’ time and ours. It is not about the 9000 hours invested over three intense, intimate years and ours of about 400 to 500 hours of “let’s meet again next week, and don’t forget to read up chapter so-and-so.”

It is not even about the difference of how structured ours are and how impromptu, most times, spontaneous Jesus leadership was when he led the twelve. 

Ultimately, it is about the human heart. That’s what it all boils down to. The eras may have changed, with technology, civilization progression, and science advancement, but the heart is still the same. That is why, corny or otherwise, the issue of the heart is indeed the heart of the issue. 

Let me just say that Jesus’ 9000 hours spent with his twelve was not a resounding success in His lifetime. Underscore “lifetime.” 

History has shown that they had failed Him even at the time of the Cross. During his lifetime, they were struggling to emulate their Saviour, to follow in His footsteps. 

The disciples have all kinds of issues not uncommon to the ones we experience today. They have fear issues, doubts issue, drowning issues, rebellion issues, ego issues, greed issues, racist issues, and suicide issue - the last issue ended in a disciple’s death. 

Make no mistakes, His disciples have ideas, opinions, tensions, clashes, struggles, values, and strong, stubborn wills of their own. 

Their hearts were not transformed and lives impacted until Jesus declared “it’s finished”. And if they were prematurely judged during the lifetime of Jesus, the world of Christianity might just be viewed as another ancient cult no different from the rest of the ancient myths of gods and goddesses. 

Going back to my point about the heart of the issue in the context of a cell or home group, I think the words of senior pastor Gareth Weldon Icenogle puts it most aptly. He wrote: -

“All human communities exist in a state of brokenness and ambivalence, caught between the seventh day shalom of God and the temptation to withdraw into the “darkness” and “chaos” of the first day...small groups are trapped in the “paradox” of hunger for intimacy (“it’s not good to be alone”) and fear of intimacy (“they sewed fig leaves to cover themselves”).”

I harbour no delusions about the human heart. Neither do I underestimate its potential. The same heart that plots another’s downfall is also the one that sacrifices for others. 

From darkness or chaos to peace, the journey is a long, and sometimes terrifying one. The disciples struggled to align their hearts to the heart of their Saviour just as we today struggle to align ours to His.

Although brokenness and the hunger for intimacy come together as a bridge to healing and peace, yet we struggle to connect because that is also where we are liable to be broken. And for many, this is not their first time. That is our fear of intimacy, resulting in a resolute resignation in favour of being alone. 

That is also the challenge of small groups today. That is, the challenge to build upon brokenness by inviting them to be even more vulnerable, knowing that when they open and give of their hearts to another, sharing the hurts and confusion, the chaos and hopelessness, they might themselves experience brokenness, greater uncertainty and pain. 

But Jesus knew that that is the only way to transform a heart. Not by sewing fig leaves to cover ourselves, hiding our brokenness, but by confronting the pain, transcending the brokenness, and embracing a new perspective of hope beyond the burdens and cares of this world. 

And when Jesus calls us to come and die to self, He is not telling us to harden our heart so that we are beyond brokenness. He however calls us to brave through our trials with it so that in our brokenness, we may receive healing, restoration and peace. That is the enduring resilience of Calvary from the one who is also the author and finisher of our faith.

The trial of the empire of things.

They say the home is where the heart is, and for Lady Rosmah, her home is full of glittering stuff. 

The haul is quite mind boggling, according to Anwar. 

Anwar said: "It is unfortunate. This you cannot defend. You can open a big shop with Birken bags, Hermes bags."

In Najib's mansion alone at Taman Duta, 50 luxury handbags from brands such as Chanel, Gucci and Prada were seized. 

It reports that "the operation also yielded a haul of 10 luxury watches, including several Rolexes, a Hublot and a Patek Philippe, as well as RM537,000 (S$181,700) and 2.87 million Sri Lankan rupees (S$24,440) in cash."

But the haul above, with some items and cash amount being quite expected of a multimillionaire's home, is addition to the haul from three luxury apartments in KL's shopping district occupied by Najib and family. 

The raid loaded up 284 boxes "containing luxury handbags and 72 bags filled with jewellery, cash of various denominations, watches and other valuables...on Thursday night."

It took five police trucks to load the boxes and the director of police commercial crime investigations, Mr. Amar Singh said: "The total sum worth of items cannot be ascertained now. We will be counting and will know by tomorrow. The number of jewellery is rather big."

I guess he is also referring to a pink diamond necklace estimated at about US$23 million, purchased with 1MDB funds according to the US Department of Justice. 

Mind you, the raid on the private condominiums were the result of a tip off by members of the youth wing of PM Mahathir's party where they "received video evidence showing an alleged attempt to "hide" some 50 Birken bags that may have belonged to Madam Rosmah.""

To be fair, Najib and Lady Rosmah have hit back at the raids, saying that it has become a media circus with unwarranted leaks, and some of the officials had "helped themselves to food and chocolates in the refrigerator and further demanded that meals be prepared for them."

Lesson...?

Apart from the questionable raid being carried out, which will be investigated by Mr. Amar Singh, one has to ask, does Lady Rosmah suffer from an OCD-like hoarding disorder? 

While the poor who suffer from such unfortunate condition pack the house with discarded stuff of questionable value, making it practically inhabitable, is Lady Rosmah laboring under the same medical blight packing her mansions with stuff of inestimable value, making the same act incomprehensible?

I started this post by saying that the home is where the heart is, and if so, where then lies Lady Rosmah's, and for that matter, Najib's heart when he was the premier promising to put the Rakyat first? 

Now, it has to be said that there is nothing wrong with being rich and filling your home with good stuff to beautify it. 

Even lady Rosmah once said: "When someone gives us something, it is not nice to reject it. This said, there is no reason for me to go around announcing that I have been presented watches, designer bags and the rest. That's just showing off. As a woman and wife of a leader, I have to look presentable, neat and upkeep my appearance. I don't want to look unkempt because if I do, I will be criticised."

Well, it's one thing to look "unkempt" and it's quite another thing altogether when you fill or line the rooms and corridors of your home (or heart) as a politician's wife with branded goods you will never use, jewelleries worth millions you possibly wear only once, and cash that people will never get to earn in their lifetime.

At some point, the excesses become an entrapment, the entrapment turns into the corruption of the heart.

Mind you, Lady Rosmah was once dubbed "the first lady of shopping" after a shopping spree at a Sydney boutique that costs her an alleged sum of A$100,900.

She is also known for her fondness for designer handbags, as the raid has clearly shown, and they command a price of anywhere between US$12,000 and US$300,000. 

And let's not also forget that the MACC have also found about US$10.6 million being transferred from state fund unit SRC International to an account belonging to Najib. 

This is not including the open admission by Najib that the alleged political donation from the Saudi family (of billions in ringgit) first made its appearance in his personal bank account. 

Alas, the Bible admonishes that where your heart is, there you will find your treasure. 

And Najib and Lady Rosmah have a fabulous storehouse of worldly treasures that the Rakyat can only dream of. Indeed, it seems like the treasure of their heart is literally stored up in their houses. 

Last night, I watched The Greatest Showman and there was one part at the end when Hugh Jackman (as PT Barnum) turned to his wife (Michelle Williams) and said that he was doing all that he did (that is, touring the world with a prime donna to secure international fame and wealth) for the family, especially their two girls. 

At this point, Mrs. Barnum replied to the effect that she had never asked for all that. She has enough. She has him. She has her family. 

For her, it has never been about the things or circumstances but the family and the love that binds them together. 

That about sums up the soul and wealth of a family for me. It is about a love that is not distracted by money and a heart that knows where enduring happiness truly lies.

And if the home is where the heart is, then the heart of a home is never about filling it with things, but love, never about keeping up with the joneses but staying together in poverty and in riches, and most relevantly, never about blindly chasing after happiness when it has never left the home in the first place.

And therefore, the greatest irony in life is not being able to see what you have been looking for all your life standing just right before you. Mr PT Barnum learned that lesson the tough way. 

I call that the irony of coming back full circle and looking at things afresh with new eyes. And the privilege of that perspective is not that the things or people around you have changed, but you have.

So, maybe Lady Rosmah does not suffer so much from a hoarding disorder but a heart that is insatiable. It is a heart that finds security in the empire of things. 

Alas, this is the condition of the human heart, and no one is exempt. 

And while Najib and Lady Rosmah are now facing the populist backlash of their undoing, the enduring lesson for me is ironically captured in this whimsical quote: "I would rather carry a plastic bag with $5000 inside, than to carry a Prada bag with only $100 inside.”

For me, it means that you can’t hide the depth of your character (or its lack) behind the shallowness of earthly things…for one day, they will all unravel (in a vacant soul at deathbed or a media circus at public raid). Cheerz.