Falter at the Altar

I think hypocrisy cuts both ways. There are hypocrite theists and hypocrite atheists. Similarly, there are the warring crusaders of old, who raided and killed with papal endorsement, and in the name of God. And now, there is the clergy project, a group of clergy-turned-atheists formed to renounce religion.

Somewhere, somehow, between those two groups, I can imagine the chalkboard scratch of cognitive dissonance must be deafening.

Once they were fervent advocates of the gospel, now the members of the clergy project are turning their backs from it. I guess for a while, some of these clergymen had been living a double life. But they continued to minister religiously for fear of backlash from the congregation should they come forward with their deconversion.

I think there's nothing new under the sun. It's the same old manichean-like battle between two opposing forces: light and darkness, religion and atheism. Unfortuantely, hypocrisy prevails on both sides of the fence.

For this reason, I feel that some churches should fess up to the failings of the faith. I earnestly believe that there are pastors and church workers who are quietly disillusioned by the apathy of the leadership, the shallowness of their faith, and the seduction of atheism.

Somehow, and strangely, atheism always presents a more intellectual, open and modern face and religion generally projects a more traditional, dogmatic and even intolerant one.

Maybe, it is because the religious have been residing at the ivory tower of institutionalized belief for so long that they have unknowingly scorned (or underestimated) any opposing force threatening to topple their comfortable high ground. I call this the Jericho effect.

Instead of pretending the problem does not exist or "while" it away like a bad itch, I think the church leadership should take proactive steps to identify those bordering at the fringes of faith or deal with potential faithlessness in an open and private discussion.

But then, I guess no sensible pastor or church worker have the temerity to confess to a willowing doubt for fear that it may be interpreted as a sign of weakness or even betrayal.

What's worse, his candor may cause him an immediate disqualification from holding, or continuing to hold, his existing appointments. I call this the defrocking effect.

I sometimes see doubts as balancing on a knife-edge and whether one falls on the side of theism or atheism would depend on many factors. A pastor may be convicted by the spirit to go forward with faith despite his doubts. Or his faith may be strengthened by a loving and supportive church community as he comes forward with his weakness.

But, it definitely doesn't help for self-professed "saints" of God to cast stones at them and brand them as pulpit traitors or biblical apostates. This would surely tip the scale in favor of their deconversion.

I recall a father once came to Jesus and pleaded, "Lord I believe; help my unbelief." I believe this is the same call for help from people of faith who are tempering with doubts.

So let me end with this question: If we so eagerly help new converts with their doubts at the altar, why can’t we help old converts with their unbelief when they falter? Food for thought? Cheerz.

A Fool's Fool

On 1^st April 2013, a churchgoer posted this on his facebook. I happened to stumble upon it.

“Today is 1st of April.

The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, doing abominable iniquity; there is none who does good.

(Psalm 14:1; Psalm 53:1)

The fool. The Atheist is the fool preeminently, and a fool universally. Today is their day.

May we pray that today is the last day for them to be branded as fools as we lift them up to Our Lord and pray that their spiritual eyes & hearts will be opened to see & receive the truth of Jesus' loving sacrifice for them on the cross and henceforth be called born-again Christians and be fools no more! Amen.”

This is my brief reply.

“Amen, generally. But let me muse with you brother.

I think there are 3 kinds of fools in this world. First, a fool who knows he's a fool but doesn't want to change. Second, a fool who knows he's a fool and wants to change but doesn't know how to change. Third, a fool who doesn't know and so doesn't know he needs to change.

Then, in the first category, there are the atheist fool and the christian fool, for whom this day is fittingly dedicated to.

While the atheist fool requires no further elaboration, the christian fool is a fool who thinks he is no fool and doesn't need to change like the pharisees (a fourth kind?).

So, the recurring theme that runs thru all the different categories above is this: "He is a fool if he fools himself to say that he's no fool." For such is a fool's fool.

In the end, God help us all. And let us pray for each other who once were fools for ourselves and now are triumphantly fools for Christ. Cheerz.”

Woe is Calvary

Woe is Calvary.
Apparently.
There's no end to this pain.
There's no end to this agony.

Maybe God could have done different.
Because the last time I checked, the world was no less indifferent.

Woe is Calvary.
The cross, the contempt, the misery.
The sneer, the scorn, the travesty.
Who can save us, this wretched humanity?

Maybe God could have started without.
This creature formed in his image.
Upon the ruins of Babel, they shout,
"I'm free! I'm free! I shall pay you no homage!"

So what good is good friday?
Where they put God on a stake.
What good is the narrow way?
Seriously, for whose sake?

Is God now redundant?
Have we retired our messiah?
Have we created an age of abundance?
And in His stead, reign our own desire?

If so, this is our irony.
The Maker's image is the image maker.
We can't escape this infamy.
Man's redemption? Any taker?

Imagine 6 billion gods, a global cohort.
Imagine each is on fire, to become man's next messiah.

Can we even live at peace?
Can we even aspire?
To put humanity's pain at ease.
To tame our endless desire.

l think the end is near.
This is my mortal fear.
When man decides to rule.
As gods, there's no greater fool.

So, woe is Calvary?
Or, woe is man's tyranny?
I guess the hope is misplaced.
Because the son cannot be replaced.

"It is finished!" is not a cry of the end,
Of suffering, Of death, Of pain.
The Cross as bloodied as it stands.
ls not a sacrifice that's in vain.

So the world will go on.
Though pain will not fade.
This is my savior's song.
Rarefied by love this world cannot relate.

Thus I shall rejoice on Friday.
I shall turn my eyes on him.
Because I know three days to Sunday.
In gladness, my soul shall sing.
Cheerz.                              

God's PR consultant: whose image is it anyway?

I can imagine angel gabriel (AG) consulting a public relations manager (PR) on improving God's "image" in the light of the current disillusionment. If I am allowed some latitude to set this imagination of mine free, I suppose the discussion will go something like this.

AG: You know people are beginning to think that he's a figment of their imagination. Some of the believers are even entertaining second thoughts, but such doubts are repressed for the sake of tradition, continuity and livelihood. I guess they figure that rocking the boat now may just sink it. (sighs) What should I do? How can I improve his image?

PR: If I may be frank sir, (waits for AG to return a pensive nod) I think the problem is two words, gratuitous suffering...

AG: (chimes in) I know. I know. What can he do in that department to burnish his credentials?

PR: Well, the answer is quite obvious. Can't he stop it (catches a glimpse of AG's expressionless stare and continues). I mean...can't he make it go away?

AG: Well, the plan was for his son to endure the worst of injustices, pain, and abandonment in their stead. He overcame it all and became a symbol of redemptive hope for them. Isn't that what suffering is all about?

PR: Yes, I can see that. The calvary message has given much hope to the people even today. But that message is...erm getting old for an increasing number of them.

AG: Old?

PR: ...I mean suffering is subjective. Only he who experiences the whole nine yards of it knows how much it hurts and how long he can endure it. And a distant memory of the exemplary suffering at calvary is just not personal enough to persuade those who have to endure endless and apparently meaningless pain to keep the faith. In fact many of them are raising tough questions only he can answer. What's more, the image he has been projecting since the beginning of time sorely contradicts with that of his son's.

AG: (squints) I think I know where this is going. But go on...

PR: (swallows the bile in his throat) Sir, the perplexing issues raised in the paradox of evil and the calvary of redemptive suffering just don't cut any ice with the people. They are more confused than they are enlightened. And so far, the apologists' debate has generated more heat than light, so to speak. Compound all that with gratuitous suffering and the information, internet age, you get the perfect storm of disbelief. Essentially, the people have evolved to be more informed and inquisitive. They no longer accept OB markers for their faith. They have outgrown the post-Eden age of knowing good and evil. They can in fact distinguish between original light and moonshine. You can call this development the rebel spring.

AG: But...but that's the point of faith isn't it? Evidence of things not seen?

PR: Sorry to be a wet blanket sir but that too I think is getting a tad old.

AG: Hmm...you don't think faith is persuasive or credible anymore?

PR: (shakes his head) I'm afraid not. To many people out there, faith is nothing more than a child accepting the existence of santa claus because there are presents underneath the tree. That's all. It's non sequitur logic to them. It's the fluff without the cream. And most have grown out of it. Faith actually adds nothing to the debate in their view and it's not helping that science is more engaging, informative and credible. And didn't Popper once say that a theory that explains everything explains nothing at all?

AG: Ah...that Popper guy, that epistemological imp. Anyway,  talking about science, she used to be the mother of theology you know.

PR: Well it used to be that way sir. But now, the spin of science is better accepted than the spirit of faith. You see, many see faith as  ignorance disguising as confidence. It is no different from saying that I do not know and what I do not know is what I know and what I know I do not know is knowing enough for me.

AG: (narrows the brows) How about the new heaven and earth? Don't they know that the end will justify all the sufferings, even gratuitous ones.

PR: Well, that's another bummer sir. Nobody knows when that final curtain call is happening...erm except him. And I don't...erm suppose he will be tweeting out the date anytime soon? So, short of a total annihilation from a vindictive act of nuclear holocaust, global warming, a crashing meteor or the burning out of the sun which will then consume the entire solar system, and mind you, the latter is forecasted to take place about 5 billion years later give or take a few million, I'm afraid the patience of the people is fast running out. What I'm trying to say is that I think most of them are not going to bite that eschatology bait hook, line and sinker anymore.

AG: Hmm...I guess what you are trying to tell me is that the situation is far worse than I first thought?

PR: I am afraid so sir.

AG: Assuming you are right, what should he do then?

PR: I don't really know sir. I am not him. I am not God. But whatever he decides, he has to do it quick.

AG: (musing) Well, he can't send another flood. That ship has sailed. And that son-option is a once-in-an-eternity's deal...

PR: Sir, if I may be so bold, I think this time the solution will have to be nothing short of a personal, surprised guest appearance. And I am not talking about a burning bush, exclusive audience of one kind of experience. It needs to be big, grand, on an armageddonic scale, kinda like a divine flash mob. He has to show himself to all 6 billion of them!

AG: (forces out a wry smile) Ok. Appreciate your suggestion, especially the last bit. Will just have to pass the message. That's my job anyway. Thanks.

Draw the line between work and rest

“Life is short. Some people have been so long-term focused that they forget that.” (Dr Yap)

Here’s my view:

“Good point. This account for the build-a-fortune syndrome. We work so hard for our future and our children's future, but then we squander our present away. This sounds trite and corny but plain old truth doesn't need any accessorizing.

The thing about the rat-race is that in the end you are still a rat. The fortune you build up may be at the expense of the relationship you tear down, even unintentionally.

Doesn't the rat race also clone rat-like behavior out of us? We become skittish, edgy, and most of the time, lost. The late Stephen Covey bemoaned, "The perpetual circle of self-improvement makes anxiety spiral. It is not enough to be married; we must be marriageable and employable."

So, is this the mark of success, "the one with the biggest toys wins?" I think the most democratic place you will ever find on earth is the graveyard. When everybody is lying restlessly horizontal, they are just about level with all.

Maybe a balance is called for. This may sound zen-ish but it is directly relevant. The mantra is to live in the present moment. Don't mortgage it for an uncertain future. I read somewhere which says, "Live in the present. Don't re-live the past and re-feel the pain. Neither pre-live the future and pre-feel the anxiety. The present is indeed a gift."

I think the solution, to me, is to cultivate a sense of completeness; a sense of fulfillment. I think the problem is that we do not have time for a self pat-on-the-back. No time for self-congratulation. There's no feeling of work done and the much deserved soul searching REST between completed work and continued work. Sadly, many are being washed around aimlessly in the gyre of incompleteness (or unfulfillment).

There is a saying that the supreme accomplishment is to blur the line betwwen work and play.

Well, here's my twist of it: The supreme accomplishment is to draw the line between work and rest. And when we are resting, let's play real hard. Savor and milk every moment with loved ones. Only then, and only then, can we truly, deeply and madly enjoy this short life given to us by our Creator. Cheerz

Marriage meets adultery

What are the causes of adultery? (Dr Yap, my de facto(r) internet mento(r))

Here’s how I would reply to it, hang on.

The causes of adultery are a wandering mind, an unsettled heart and an aimless soul. Adultery happens in the mind before in reality it unfolds.

It involves three parties in fact. Three weird hands to clap. How unnatural, yucks? How unfathomable, shucks!

One pastor pins it down to opportunity and time. Given both at play, most men (and women) will just fall away.

But opportunity, time and even loneliness are all outward signs of a marriage most passionless. It is one thing to be alone and faithful. It is quite another to be lonely and ungrateful.

My solution, if there ever was one. It would be this cheeky suggestion, bar none. And mind you, this is controversial. So pardon me and read at your leisure:

"If you have to commit adultery, then go ahead. Make it a date. Do it with pride. Make it a wild ride.

Do it all the way. Do it everyday. But do it with your WIFE. Go ahead, try her for size.

Yes, commit "adultery" with her. Make it a night to remember. Make every night a one night stand. Your wife, your number one fan, and you her hitchhiker friend.

Make your marriage a novelty. Make it a mardi-gras-like festivity. Make her your fantasy. Dress and undress her to your "lustful" fancy.

She is your partner not just in name. She is yours for life and you the same.

So, go ahead and commit adultery.

Because if your wife is also your mistress, all rolled into one;

Your marriage will not just be of interest, it will be a lifetime of love and fun!" Cheerz.

Peace of God?

“There are lots of people who use their "sense of peace" as a way to confirm God's will in each of their decision-making. Does it mean that when I don't feel that peace, what I am doing is not in accordance to God's will?” (Dr Yap)

Mmm...human emotions can be misleading, which includes the so called "sense of peace". Using emotions to confirm God's will is like using a thermometer to measure the ozone layer or using a screwdriver to drill for oil. I am not saying it is not reliable. I am just saying that we have to be more careful and discerning.

Doing the will of God is often a very disciplined pursuit. It calls for self-denial, prayer and trust; not to mention faith and hope. It usually goes against the mainstream and that explains the sheer loneliness. At times, it is akin to lumbering in a dark sewage tunnel with no end in sight. So it is normal for one to experience a lot of emotional turmoil.

As an aside, I had a few divorce friends who once assured me that their ex-spouses were chosen by God after experiencing that ethereal sense of peace. But after the bitter divorce, they knew better and are now less cavalier about making such public proclamations.

I know it is tempting to do a post-mortem of their faith with the benefit of hindsight and conveniently accuse them of being led by self-will rather than by God’s. But, as imperfect beings, it is still a slippery slope proposition to rely solely on one’s subjective feelings as a definite sign.

Honestly, we all struggle with our faith. Doing God's will (or staying in it) can at times be very counterintuitive, anti-logical and faith-defying. So, emotions, like a floodgate, can take us on a wild ride.

Of course, there is the veritable peace of God that surpasses all secular understanding. But frankly, one cannot be so sure all the time even when one is performing His will. Many prophets of old had faced their garden of gethsemane and they literally cried out for internal confirmation of His divine mission. They too struggled in silence and in solitude. Ultimately they experienced an all-encompassing, warm blanket of peace as they travailed and prevailed to the end. But this biblical peace is not a sure thing that is easily discernible and readily prevalent at all times.

In the interim, my questions are, “what if we do not feel that sense of peace at the moment when we need it most? What if there are only doubts and confusion and our feelings are completely unsettled? What if such topsy-turvy emotion is part of the test of our faith?” Or, “what if that all too familiar “sense of peace” is self-conjured and self-endorsed to ferry us along to that land of the feel-good?”

So, is it always the case of “no peace equals no Will of God?" Or “got peace means got God’s will?” Is it that simple?

Maybe there are other ways to secure the ballast of security and hope when performing His will. Maybe at certain times, feeling or emotions are secondary to silent trust amidst the internal anxiety. Maybe at times faith is that agitator of emotions and the sense of disquiet experienced is that which ought to stir us into further action and hope. Maybe one should gather a community of faithful and like-minded believers to encourage each other to persevere; instead of waiting for that pampering feeling of peace to nudge us along.

So, it is a fact that emotions can lead us astray. It can be a mirage of peace that lulls us into a self-believing bubbled reality. We can mistake human serenity for God-bestowed invulnerability. We must therefore be wary not to so readily endorse a feeling of calmness as a sign from God that we are walking in His will. l think it is safe to say that our sense of peace should not be a standalone sign. Neither should it be the sole determinant. In other words, and this is by no mean a cookie-cutter view, peace should arise as a result of trust, faith and hope and not the other way around.

So, let’s hope that at all times, our trust is in a faithful God to carry us through regardless of how we are feeling at the particular time and place. Cheerz.