I came to know Kenneth and Adeline last year, 27 August, when we shared a cake together. It was my birthday, my 48th. We have been friends since then. Before that, we were perfect strangers.
I write about them this morning because they have written about us this morning. It is in the papers. Their article is called “Charity reimagined: The gift of imagination”.
At one part of their article, they wrote about “One People, One Nation, One Singapore”. But, what does that mean? What truly binds us together? What are we moving towards? One Singapore no doubt, yet, going where? Those questions become clearer as you read their article. But first, let me share my thoughts about the couple.
Ken and Addy taught me a lot of things. Not just in words spoken, but in the life they have lived.
If you're wondering, what do they do? Well, they care for people by inviting them into their home. They open their home to share with troubled youth what little they have.
The Last Resort is a refuge for young people who have run out of options for themselves. It is a community for those who seek a roof over their heads. Some stay for a night, just to ride out the storm, and others, for as long as they need to get back on their feet.
Recently, we had a chat, and Addy reminded me that we are all looking for human connection - something that is far deeper than the creature comforts we seek from our material possessions. She shared that a simple meal together in a family setting can bring tears to a soul who has never experienced such community of acceptance and love before. And the Last Resort seeks to serve that simple mission, that is, to be the family to those who are struggling to understand theirs.
Over the months, I have seen many lives restored in that community. Some are doing well in schools. Some have returned to their own family with much gratitude for the hospitality showered. They often returned to share their testimonies to encourage others.
But, as Ken once admitted to me, there are those who have arrived so broken, they left the Last Resort still trying to put the pieces of their life together. Although they are never forgotten, Ken and Addy sometimes wished with inexplicable remorse that they could do more. Inexplicable to me at least, because as a couple, I wonder, what more can they do when they have shared practically everything they have with those who come knocking at their door?
That is why these words ring so true when you put them together alongside the life that Ken and Addy have lived out.
“The mindset of a community that shares is not dependent on how much we have. When we have more, we have more to share. When we have little, we can still share what little we have. The interpersonal interactions are not dependent on gain, upward mobility or affluence. Sharing builds empathy and restores dignity to those in need: Those who offer help in one area are likely to need it in another. We are both ready givers and equal recipients.”
Ken always invites me to imagine a world where no one is holding back. Everyone gives what they can, of their talents, of their time, of their testimonies, of their home and of their lives. Each person gives what he is comfortable with, at a season or seasons he is ready, and with the faith that a life can be nudged to change by their simple generosity.
In the article, he calls it a charity reimagined.
He encourages us to reimagine it because the drive to do charity may have taken a twist of meaning for many in a world of material affluence. In the same way that Jesus had observed the rich giving out of their abundance, we risk offering (to society) more of our things, our leftovers, than our lives and time.
As such, the ironic effect is that we end up donating more, thereby desirous of looking and feeling more charitable, but giving less, thereby withholding that which makes a lasting difference in the lives of the giver and the recipient. This may explain why many of us are enriched in many ways, and we often boast about it, but our souls still struggle with the poverty of meaning within.
This has led Ken to ask: “But I wonder, could the increase in community donating be happening at the expense of decreased community sharing?”
If there is a need to reimagine charity, the life of Ken and Addy exemplifies it best. They take things as they come, shouldering what they can, letting go of that which is beyond them, and never ceasing to do what they have been called to do since ten years ago. Amidst the trials, they kept hope afloat, faith undivided, and love unconditional.
Have they experienced grief? My god, yes. I heard their many stories and grief spills over in many of them. Have they experienced hurts and pain? Yes. And have they as a couple or individually broken down at times, crying for strength and holding on to hope? I believe so, yes.
To me, they are no super-humans. And I can imagine them laughing at that suggestion. In any event, that would be scary. I have seen and read about many self-styled super-humans, but they are no more than broken individuals trying in vain to cling on to that image in order to make up for what they are too afraid to stand up for. Alas, we often crave for a cape and a mask to bridge the imagined gap when we already have it within us to take that leap (or flight) of faith.
Let me tell you that I have seen Ken shed tears before. He struggled to fight back the eye-faucet when he had to let a child he loved dearly go. Addy too was devastated. But in those tears, in their brokenness, I nevertheless saw an unyielding spirit that was ready to pick up where they have left off and move forward with even greater resolve. That day, I learned from them that it is never the brokenness that breaks us, it is the refusal to allow our brokenness to humanise and empower us that eventually breaks us.
Let me end with their own words. This old fashioned couple still believe in miracles. In the article, they call it the miracle of community sharing and describe it simply as such: -
“Like-minded people interested in what we do are welcomed into our lives, to know us deeply as we also get to know them. Over many dinners, coffee and tea, we exchange hopes and aspirations for a common loving community.
Among this group of friends and family, everyone is free to unashamedly receive as well as joyfully give. There is no manipulation or pressure to hit numerical targets; we simply use whatever we pool together to care for as many as we can.
We go beyond sharing physical resources; emotional and mental exchanges are also freely shared. This is always something empowering: People begin to care, not because they have to, but because they belong, and want to.”
Well, I have been there myself, with my wife, and we too have experienced this miracle. It does not hit you in an instant, not like some magic carpet ride or the waving of some sorcerer's wand. Instead it changes you over time. And over time, it emerges in the same way as they had described it - "there is no pressure to hit numerical targets...we simply use whatever we pool together to care...People begin to care, not because they have to, but because they belong, and want too."
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