If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach him how to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. But for Anil David, 53, (“Anil”) he got much more than just a fishing lesson in life. He got a community that gave him a second chance and he made the most of it.
But for Anil, the proverbial second chance saw him going to prison thrice before he woke up and decided that he would turn his life around for good.
I write this post because I believe Anil’s journey thus far epitomises a life that had personally experienced two ways of living: one for self, and the other, for others. And his life is well-narrated by Wong Kim Hoh, Deputy Life Editor, in ST today.
At eight, Anil was sexually molested by his late uncle. Over a year, he was a silent victim. ”This episode scarred him, filling him with self-doubt, low self esteem and trust issues.” As a result, Anil “flunked his O levels, passing only English.”
After his national service, Anil started selling insurance. He met with some successes with his creativity.
He recalled that he would search the obituary for Chinese towkays, attend their wake, and help serve drinks. When approached by the son at the wake and asked how he came to know the deceased, Anil would say, “Your dad gave me very good advice.” With a grin, Anil said: “One month later, the son became my insurance agent.”
But “impatient for the good things in life - fast cars and designer labels - (Anil) took shortcuts, by illegally dipping into his clients’ funds.” This was to be his first brush with law, when he served five years in prison in 1995 for siphoning nearly $100k. At that time, he was married.
But, even after serving time, Anil was not done with living his life the way he wanted. He said, “sin is delicious, like a juicy mango. But too much of it will give you diabetes.”
In 2004, that diabetic awakening came when he was caught for the third time and served a prison term of eight years. “I was really down, I felt I had come to the end of the road. My wife and two daughters wanted to have nothing to do with me.” Can you blame them?
But three times’ the charm for Anil when it comes to second chances. And in prison, he found faith, thereby ending a life lived just to please himself. At that crossroad of true brokenness, Anil vowed to rebuild his life, reconcile with his family, and “apply himself so he could pick up new skills.”
In any event, that crossroad was timely as Anil was assigned to work in a call centre in prison. It was there that the chief executive of the call centre talent-spotted him. He noticed that Anil was good at selling. And after he was released, Anil started his own social enterprise, namely, Agape Connecting People. That route was not easy. He had a few hurdles to cross.
First, he was determined to reconcile with his family. He said, “I chose the name Agape because it means unconditional love. I’m here because of the unconditional love of my wife and daughters.”
Anil’s first step to reconciliation was to write a letter to his elder daughter through the Yellow Ribbon Project. Soon, his wife and daughters forgave him. I believe that was the second prison Anil needed to be truly set free from. For the first prison (he was released from) was when, in his solitary cell, he found faith.
In the interview, Anil was asked what does purpose mean to him? He said: “Dedicating myself to a cause beyond myself. It fuels my motivation in life, giving my life meaning and direction, inspiring me to make a significant contribution to the world...I know my God, from whom I get strength, leads me in this pursuit.”
With that purpose and strength, which was essentially others-directed, Anil found faith of another kind, that is, the faith of a community that believed in him. In addition to his wife, who pawned her jewellery to invest in his call centre in 2012, the chief executive whom he had worked for in prison plonked in $20k as initial capital. Anil later repaid him after one year of business.
But the community support did not end there. With his past records, Anil faced many closed doors in his solicitation for financial support. He was just “unbankable”. But two kind souls, who headed investment firms, however saw beyond Anil’s past, and invested nearly $500k into his business. “They told me: “if you ever become all for profit, we will pull out all our investment.””
Stepping out of the crossroad of second chances, Anil put his heart and soul into first rebuilding his life and family, and second, rebuilding his vocational calling. He thus worked a 18-hour day, “often surviving on cup noodles and preparing all the materials himself.”
Today, Agape Connecting People (“Agape”), a social enterprise, has “turned around the lives of nearly 600 people”. It employs nearly 150 staff, “half serving time in prison and the rest are ex-offenders, senior citizens and other “disadvantaged people wanting a second chance in life.”
During covid CB period, Agape was the “”first level triage” for distressed callers, helping to calm them down before channeling their calls to the hotline’s trained professionals, including psychologists, counselors and social workers.””
Agape has also expanded to “offer a full suite of services including call handling, e-mail marketing, Webshat interaction and social media management.” Currently, its chief executive is one Joseph See, who had left his job as head of acquisition and retention at StarHub.
Joseph said: “I guess it’s a calling, something I felt I needed to do. Anil wanted to impact more people and couldn’t do it alone. I felt he needed help and my former bosses gave me their blessings.”
All in all, the mission to stand at the crossroads for those who need a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold gave a new lease of life and freedom for Anil and the many staff under his leadership. In fact, Agape won a slew of awards including The Most Impactful Social Enterprise (2016).
Anil said: “It was a breakthrough I have been praying for. It affirms my belief that work is a platform where ex-offenders can redeem, and other disadvantaged people can prove themselves.”
Lesson? I have one, and it is in Anil’s own words. He was asked, “what do you say to cynics who say: A leopard never changes its spots.”“
This was his answer: “A leopard with dreams and measurable goals in the company of good men can change, but a leopard who persists in keeping bad company will find it hard.”
I guess our “spots” should never define us. We all know that. It has even become cliché. Yet, our greatest enemy is still ourselves.
Anil was practical enough to say (or imply) that good company is half the battle, for what is still needed are dreams and measurable goals. The former is conception, the latter is application, and with good company comes the transformation.
Here, I believe a man or woman who keeps dreaming, even with dreams marred by spots, is someone who never gives up on himself (or herself). And a person who never gives up, will never allow those dreams to die stillborn. For the womb of one’s hope comes at three points of intersection: never giving up, going beyond ourselves, and the faith of good community and empowering circumstances will eventually meet us at our crossroad.
So, let me end by saying that, most times, second chances and successes are strange bedfellows. When they come to those who are not ready to receive them, it can ruin them. For second chances can be taken for granted, and successes can change us for the worse.
But when it comes at a point of true repentance, with a heart and conscience surrendered to a purpose beyond ourselves, second chances and successes will transform our dreams to reality, and change lives for the good of society.
Indeed, when you teach men how to fish, you feed them for life. But when you give them a second chance, at a crossroad when their time has finally come, they become fishers of men for society, and they will feed many others for a lifetime. Amen.
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