Jenni - the world of sugar daddies.

 

Jenni is a looker. She is young, 28, and has a svelte body. She is also taken, for a price of course. 

Currently, Jenni has three long-term exclusive arrangements with different men. They are her “sugar daddies”. The arrangement is transactional. It is pay per company. 

Jenni said: “When I meet someone through a traditional dating app like Tinder or Tantan, there’s no setting of expectations. I don’t know how it’s going to go and, after a few dates...we end things. That’s such a waste of time. With sugar dating, at least I get compensated for my time.” 

Jenni gets paid $400 to $500 per meet and such initial dates exclude physical intimacy. “I don’t dive straight into sexual relations with someone new. I may do it in a long-term arrangement though.”

Mind you, Jenni is living it up. One of her sugar daddies gives her allowance of $8000 to $10,000 a month. And her daily collection can chalk up to $14,000 monthly. 

She saves a third of it and “spends the rest on facials, manicures and holidays to Europe and the United States. She also sends money home to her family in Malaysia.” (as reported by Jan Lee). 

Jenni is aware of the stigma of being a sugar babe. It is controversial. However, she has this to say: “I don’t feel a lot of guilt or anything. I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong or illegal. Sugar babies are not prostitutes. I think prostitutes get paid to do what they have to do - they cannot reject or say no - whereas if I’m uncomfortable, I can always say no.” 

Well, I guess that’s freedom to contract.

Curiously, Jenni is not abashed telling friends about her saccharined life. But she keeps it from her family. 

“My parents and siblings don’t know. My parents have a pretty traditional mindset, so I don’t feel the need to tell them. But if they find out, I’ll be upfront.” 

Well, with that front page close up (see picture below), let’s hope her parents in Malaysia are not fans of ST. 

Anyway, Jenni has her own principles when it comes to being a sugar babe. “She does not date men who say they are married or those above the age of 45.” 

Jenni also said she “tries not to be too emotionally invested in her sugar daddies, but it is not against a daddy becoming a marriage prospect.”

She added: “Who knows? I may meet Mr Right.”

Lesson? Erm...I guess Jenni is on top of things, having control of her choices and finding for herself an unorthodox way of making a living that pays handsomely. 

I know at this point there is a surging urge to judge Jenni on her uncommon occupation. However, some good-will advice has been given out in the papers about Jenni’s choice of lifestyle, mainly expressing concerns.

Ms Vanessa Ho, of non-profit support group for sex workers, said: “With sugar babies, there is a greater risk of emotional abuse because it is less transactional than sex work - there’s more relationship-building and that can expose one to more mental abuse.”

“Power can manifest itself in many ways in any relationship and money is one of those ways. In a sugar relationship, the sugar parents has financial power over the baby, so the babies need to draw very clear boundaries for themselves and have a great sense of self-awareness about when those boundaries are overstepped.”

Vanessa has a good point. It is still about power play, and most times, the proof is in the pudding. At 28, and with youthful looks, Jenni has what it takes to do what she does. She lacks no suitors looking for this kind of transactional relations. 

She thus sets the price in a “friends-with-benefits” relationship. But I guess her mindset is that of a squirrel (saving up for the winter of aging), because time works against you in this kind of job. 

As you age, your “value” drops. Like soccer or basketball stars who auction off their skills to the highest bidder, Jenni sells her beauty/youth before it withers. 

It is therefore a strictly supply and demand situation. And while there is always abundance of demands for it, your supply of what is timelessly demanded comes with an expiry date because the relationship works at the lowest hanging common denominator, that is, it’s transactional. 

Let me end by repeating what Jenni said about her family: “My parents have a pretty traditional mindset, so I don’t feel the need to tell them.”

Well, being a parent with two young daughters. I can’t say I don’t identify with her parents. If I were to find out, however enlightened or “woke” I believe myself to be, I would be equally confounded (if no saddened). And this is personal and it does not apply to all. 

You see, my lamentation is not so much because she has chosen this line of work. But it is more because money holds such a great importance for her over virtues like viewing life in its proper context beyond the superficial and material. 

Of course, my love for her (my daughter) will not change an iota, because I believe you don’t judge a life over a season, for your hope for that life is for all seasons. And as a parent, it is redemptive love, because we ourselves are fallen too. 

So I wish the best for Jenni, especially her parents. And I know however controversial, one sparrow does not a spring make. A life is too complicated to pin it down to one success or one falling. It is much more resilient than that. And that is what makes us exceptional, if not extraordinary.