Interview with a Master Philosopher

I imagine I interviewed the master philosopher, Professor Nassim Nicholas Taleb, author of The Black Swan, Fooled by Randomness and Anti-fragile. I imagine further that his answers to all my questions were taken directly, unmodified, and word-for-word from his amazing book of practical aphorisms entitled The Bed of Procrustes. Of course the caveat here is that the answers do not fully represent his personal views since it is a simple case of cut-and-
paste as answers to contrived questions. But if the interview (as I'd imagined it) had gone through, it would go something like this.

Thanks for coming sir.

…(smiles)

Let’s start with this question: What is true love?

True love is the complete victory of the particular over the general, and the unconditional over the conditional. Love without
 sacrifice is like theft.

Mm...interesting. How about love, money and knowledge, can we have it all?

At any stage, humans can thirst for money, knowledge, or love; sometimes for two, never for three.

And what can you say about happiness and love?

The difference between love and happiness is that those who talk 
about love tend to be in love, but those who talk about happiness tend to be not happy.

I see. Let's pick your brain on generosity. What is pure generosity?

Pure generosity is when you help the ingrate. Every other form is self-serving. Even the cheapest misers can be generous with advice.

How about true humility?


True humility is when you can surprise yourself more than others; the rest is either shyness or good marketing.

And false modesty is?

Most of what they call humility is successfully disguised arrogance.

So, we should be wary of first impression?

We expect places and products to be less attractive than in marketing brochures, but we
 never forgive humans for being worse than their first impressions. To value a person, consider the difference between how impressive he or she was at the first encounter and the most recent one.

But how do we become more authentic, more sincere?

You want to avoid being disliked without being envied or admired. Half the people lie with their lips; the other half with their tears.


So it’s about being true to yourself in deeds and words?

When expressing “good luck” to a peer, the weak wishes the opposite; the strong is mildly indifferent; but only the magnificent means it.

You make it sound like people can’t be trusted?

I trust everyone except those who tell me they are trustworthy. Trust people who make a living lying down or standing up more 
than those who do so sitting down. People usually apologize so that they can do it again.

Good advice. Any wise words for humanity as a whole?

You have a real life if and only if you do not compete with anyone in any of your pursuits.

Is that success to you?

My only measure of success is how much time you have to kill. The opposite of success isn’t
 failure; it is name-dropping.

I understand you were once a trader. In your early days, have you ever wished to be successful like those wall street bankers?

Some, like most bankers, are so unfit for success that they look like dwarves dressed in giants’ clothes. Fate is at its cruelest when a banker ends up in poverty. Fortune punishes the greedy by making him poor and the very greedy by making him rich.


That would mean being rich is bad karma?

You are rich if and only if money you refuse tastes better than money you accept.

Good point. What’s your measure of a good life sir?

You have a calibrated life when most of what you fear has the titillating prospect of adventure.

So life’s one long beautiful adventure for you?


Life’s beauty…the kindest act toward you in your life may come from an outsider not interested in reciprocation.

Hmm…selfless giving. What in your view is man’s problem?

Over the long term, you are more likely to fool yourself than others.

Self-deception I see. What makes it worse for us?

The person you are the most
 afraid to contradict is yourself.

So, we fake everything? We are fakes?

Hatred is much harder to fake than love. You hear of fake love; never of fake hate. Usually, what we call a “good listener” is someone with skillfully polished indifference.

But don’t we want the truth? Doesn’t the truth set you free?

If you lie to me, keep lying; don’t hurt me by suddenly telling the 
truth.

Are you saying that we can’t handle the truth? What about the freedom to change?

You don’t become completely free by just avoiding to be slave; you also need to avoid becoming a master.

Does modern technology attenuate this problem?

The difference between technology and slavery is that
 slaves are fully aware that they are not free.

You're talking about self-awareness. Is that the key to understanding?

Medieval man was a cog in a wheel he did not understand; modern man is a cog in a complicated system he thinks he understands.

And it is your view that we think we know when we don’t really know that we don’t know?


It takes a lot of intellect and confidence to accept that what makes sense doesn’t really make sense. Knowledge is subtractive, not additive – what we subtract (reduction by what does not work, what not to do), not what we add (what to do). Any idiot can be intelligent.

So self-awareness is coming to a point of admitting your ignorance?

Conscious ignorance, if you can practice it, expands your world; it
 can make things infinite.

And knowledge is power and yet humbling, especially the knowledge of knowing the extent of your ignorance. I heard that’s Confucius’ definition of being wise?

It takes extraordinary wisdom and self-control to accept that many things have a logic we do not understand that is smarter than our own.

I see your point. What is your
 view on the vanities of man then?

They read Gibbon’s Decline and Fall on an e-Reader but refuse to drink Chateau Lynch-Bages in a Styrofoam cup. Upon arriving at the hotel in Dubai, the businessman had a porter carry his luggage; I later saw him lifting free weights in the gym. Meditation is a way to be narcissistic without hurting anyone. Just as dyed hair makes older men less attractive, it is what you do to hide your weaknesses that make them
repugnant.

So all that unravels the superficialities of modern men?

Modernity inflicts a sucker narrative on activities; now we “walk for exercise”, not “walk” with no justification: for hidden reasons. Finer men tolerate others’ small inconsistencies though not the large ones; the weak tolerate others’ large inconsistencies though not small ones. 


I guess that sums us up quite neatly. Do you always know what to say and how to say it?

A good maxim allows you to have the last word without even starting a conversation.

I see…I guess I am very much persuaded by your biting wit. Just for kicks, can you share an aphorism from your book?

The three most harmful addictions are heroin,
 carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.

Haha...funny, monthly salary. It's the opiate of modern cubicle slavery. I guess we are out of time sir. Thanks for coming. Any parting shot for the reader?

They are born, then put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go to what is called “work” in a box, where they sit in their cubicle box; they drive to the grocery store in a box to buy food
 in a box; they go to the gym in a box to sit in a box; they talk about thinking “outside the box”; and when they die they are put in a box. All boxes, Euclidian, geometrically smooth boxes.

And on that sobering note, good night sir. Cheerz.

The trauma of parenthood

I stumbled upon this article in the Straits Times this morning. It’s about the trauma of parenting. It started with this opening line, “Everyone knows that being the parent of an infant is hard. There is the sleeplessness, the screaming fits to tend to, the loss of autonomy, the social isolation and the sheer monotony of it.”

The author (Eli J. Finkel, a Professor of Social Psychology) writes to redirect our attention in regard to the cause of this parenting trauma. The normally accepted cause is that it is a “post-partum hormonal crash.” In other words, it is basically biological, something that arose from within us. The author begs to differ with these words, “…that many women and men experience significant psychological distress in response to becoming a parent, and that much of this distressing is not caused by a hormonal epiphenomenon of the birth process. It is driven instead in large measure by the objectively bleak circumstances new parents face. That you love your child is not always sufficient to counteract this reality.”

I find that the author has a point about circumstances conspiring to make parents miserable, even if it is not the sole cause of their misery. The author continued, “Given the ideology of parenting, it is not surprising that we typically blame biology for the experience of post-partum depression. But the circumstances parents face are often demonstrably miserable. The fact that post-partum depression rates are much higher among the poor than among the wealthy, who can purchase peace of mind through hired childcare, supports the idea that the phenomenon is, in most cases, more circumstantial than biological.”

The point of the article is about being understanding and supportive to a couple making this life-changing transition to parenthood because the same can be both nerve-wrecking and hope-sapping. The article concludes this way, “Pursue kindness over ideology. For a person whose suffering has been met with judgment, a sympathetic ear can make all the difference.”

After reading the article, I can imagine how parenting, especially in the beginning years, can take much more away from you than it gives back. It is definitely not job for the indecisive, knee-jerky and weak-hearted. This job of nurturing and grooming a life is a lifetime responsibility because your baby will never grow up in your eyes.

If there be a fitting lamentation to describe this toilsome duty of parenting, it would be in this blatantly honest classified ads for the job of a parent that I have taken the liberty to craft out. Read it with a pinch of salt and a trickle of jest. Here goes:-

We are looking for parents to run what we call a household or what society call a nuclear family. Of course the word "nuclear" here is not to be mistaken with that explosive fusion-and-fission chain-reaction normally associated with two subatomic particles travelling at breakneck speed to collide with each other or when
one subatomic particle is forced to split itself apart under unimaginable heat. But yes, I guess the metaphor is scary and if the glove fits (for parenting that is), then what the heck right?

Now, let’s go back to the requirements for this parenting job. The first prerequisite is that you have to be married of course. It would be preferred if you are happily married. But then, some may say that the term is oxymoronic. You can't possibly be married and be happy. You can only be married and crazy; so says the disenchanted.
 Alas, to each his (or her) own right?

So, being married is a must for this job but whether the couple is happy about it is an added bonus, so to speak.

Next comes the desire to have children, preferably not just one. For his job, you will need to work those hips. We require a minimum of two children. Three would be good. And four would assure you of a fast-track promotion to managerial positions.

Now, here
 comes the third requirement. Resilience. That’s another must. When the first child comes and the same is followed by the second and the third, you will have to be prepared for what we call a personality change, to put it mildly. This change is unavoidable because you will go through what some may call an apocalyptic trial of biblical proportions or a complete nuclear meltdown at some point. The more creative, but no less cruel, may call it a madhouse of curses and swearing.

But call it what you want, the trick is to not let them naysayers scare you off your knickers. Don’t let them get under your skin because this special lifetime torture is exclusively reserved for your…(wait for it)…offspring.

Yes, they will get under your skin on an ongoing basis for almost every waking moment of everyday. They will get under your scalp to mess with your mind and make you worry endlessly. They will get under your chest to make your heart beat erratically and blood boil. And most of all, for the most blissfully unaware, they will get under your pants when your urge to get it on with your spouse is the most expressive, so to speak.


For all the above reason, the third prerequisite of resilience for this job is equally indispensable as the first and second, that is, marriage and having children. It is preferred that the resilience you possessed is as rock-solid and unshakable as a heroic war veteran dodging bullets from all directions while taking cover in a foxhole with a dead buddy. Too drama? Well in the vocation of parenting, it is wiser to be over-prepared than to be under-prepared. And it is
important to bear in mind that the days will be long and the rest will be short when you are hired by us as a parent.

Often, the light at the end of the parental tunnel is not the blue sky and endless horizon but an oncoming train travelling at a blinding speed and carrying a cargo-full of soiled diapers, sleepless nights of fatigue, attention-devouring kids and a pathetically shrinking social life. This is why a resilient spirit is a priceless premium in our line of work.

From our organizational experience, the
 high turnover rate is mainly due to a serious deficiency in this area of parenting (resiliency that is). In our view, nothing challenges a loving couple more than the moment they decide to have children. It's usually downhill from there. The joy of anticipation is often overshadowed, most completely, by the toy of cruel parenting fate.

That’s why they are called offspring for a  reason. When they come, the cool and temperate spring is "off" for good to make way for the summer of
 heated madness. This is then followed by the autumn of fallen hopes. Unavoidably, this ends up with the winter of hell. So, if you look into the mirror and do not see even a smidgen of resilience in the returning image, it is best you look elsewhere in the classified ads for far easier jobs like corporate raider, big time director, M&A lawyer, top surgeon or unerring meteorologist.

We have come to the end of our advertising search for the job of a parent. But before we end, here are some of the perks we are prepared to offer you if you are shortlisted and employed by us as a parent for the long haul.

You get to develop your character along the way, experience accelerated maturity without even knowing it, deepen the relationship with your other equally-tortured half in ways that would pleasantly surprise you, be more than compensated for the so-called lost years
 with a deep pervading sense of personal satisfaction and achievement, and last but not least, watch your babies grow up, learn as they do so, overcome life’s trials with your love, guidance and patience, and best of all, get a job, marry and start a family of their very own.

And if there is any consolation for being a parent, it would be the sweet revenge you savor when you as grandparents sit back, relax and watch your own children deal with their own children with a tinge of nostalgic sweetness and a stroke
 of what the Germans cheekily call "schadenfreude" - that is, the pleasure derived from the misfortune of others. Cheerz.

Pink DOT White DOT = Red DOT?

How should we view the LGBT movement in Singapore (or even worldwide)? I think they are gradually gathering momentum and mass support. People in general empathize with them. They see them as victims, or being victimized, for being different as against the order of nature and religion. In our open society, modern and liberal, the discrimination against the LGBT seems to be undergoing a trans-engendering
 change.

In the past, they were the minority seen as fringe groups of society; at times even treated as social pariah. Religious authorities then viewed them as an abomination condemned by the hand of the divine. Now the unspoken secular value of society is all about understanding, diversity and tolerance; if not peaceful coexistence. Although they still exist in the minority, they are garnering more respect and positive support.

Surfing on this social crest of secularizing 
modern values, the LGBT want the world to know that they are only human, flesh and blood, with conflicting emotions no different from others. They want the world to know that their struggles are real. Their tears are real too. They want to be understood. They do not want to be hidden in the closets like social fugitives or tucked away in secret basements like illegal aliens. They do not want to come out only under the covers of the night and go home before the dreaded rising dawn
 like vampish entities afraid to be seen in the discriminating public light.

In short, they do not want to keep up with appearances or pretensions anymore. They do not want to be ashamed of what they are or who they are. They reason that they had been around even before Sodom and during the imperial reign of the Romans, were prevalent throughout the rise and fall of great empires, had flourished at the birth of the Renaissance, were economically active but religiously disavowed in the industrial revolution, and
are now more open and accepted in modern times.

Some are even allowed to marry with the blessings of the state and the church. Basically, they are just not going away because they desire more than anything to be integrated into the traditional, cultural and terrestrial estates of humanity. Strangely, the more they are opposed, the more resilient they become.

However, they are intimately aware that theirs is an existence of mind-bending paradoxes. Although they are not a recent historical invention, their alien-ness will always be.  Although they are not the result
 of a social experiment gone wrong like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, their mere presence is somewhat socially unnerving. Although they are not spawn of sin, wantonness and debauchery, their avowed passion for each other seen to be squirmingly unnatural. Although the society would not consider them a psychological aberration, the religious squints with discomfort and indignation when they unite in holy matrimony.

In essence, their
 humanity differs little from ours. They are born no less human than the rest of us. Their burial pit and crematorium are no deeper or bigger nor the incinerator any hotter than the rest of society. Neither are their lives any different from ours for they are equally flawed, their love equally fallible and their desires equally worldly.

In the name of religion, many had tried to change them, convert them, turn them around, relegate them to second-class denizens when all else failed, dismiss them
 as a confused minority, and treat them as freaks of nature; yet they still persist, more united now than ever, collectively clamoring for understanding and acceptance.

In the name of the love of God, many have welcomed them as sons and daughters of the most High. But the hand that warmly invited them to join the flock of believers to worship the God of love is also the same hand that wishes for them to turn from their sins of unnatural sexuality so as to receive their forgiveness from the
 God of mercy. Their invitation is conditional. Their spiritual agenda cannot be hidden. And their sincerity is unfortunately layered.

Good intention and unnaturalness aside, this scrupulous game of bait-and-switch as seen by the victimized have been tried and tested and tried and tested for ages with little to show in historical success. The LGBT are still fighting back, growing in numbers ever since and stubbornly hanging on to the cloak of justice demanding equal rights, equal treatment and equal 
recognition. Their audacity and fervency have gathered even more traction in our modern age thanks to the social media and the deference to individual rights, freedom and autonomy.

Will LGBT one day rule the world, take over top leadership positions, make socioeconomic decisions favoring their kind, discriminate and suppress any opposition threatening their hard fought status, and conspire with atheism to turn this world into a godless, morally fungible and religion-free place? Will heterosexuals become an oppressed minority or worse, a disfavored alternate sexual identity? How will our 
children and our children's children turn out in such a world then? 

I think we are giving them way too much credit. And I guess such alarming crystal-ball fixation only robs us of a present waiting to be collectively redeemed as one cradle of humanity for a remote future kept artificially alive by the straw-men of dread, fear and prejudices. 

Alas, one day, it is hoped that science could unravel the cause or source of this gender identity mystery so that the genuine cases can find enduring gender resolution and deepening moral exoneration. But I am afraid 
the damage has already been done and the seed of division and discord has been sown for generations past and for generations to come.

For this reason, I draw neither inspiration from the past nor the present to bridge this seemingly irreconcilable chasm between those who sincerely want to accept them but only conditionally and those who sincerely want to be accepted but only unconditionally.

Maybe my hope lies somewhere in the distant future of humanity,
beyond the horizon of human tradition and perceived unnaturalness, over and above the undulating terrains of obdurate intolerance, and stretching out to the furthest summit of understanding that is untainted by the primal prejudices of this world.

But then, maybe the truth is nearer home, residing in our hearts, and we are just too distracted by the loftier goals of life and tradition to ever notice it. And this truth is found simply in the words of Jesus when he called us to love God 
and to love others, and let this love be the final arbiter of all our motive and actions. This love is of course not to be used for self-serving justification, but for genuine, unbiased dialogue that aims to move all sides forward and close the gap of their differences; and not exposing it to show politely disguised moral superiority.

When this is ultimately achieved, and when love finally rules all, maybe then and only then, can this seemingly irreconcilable chasm be bridged and be bridged in such a way that transcends our current level
 of moral understanding and social tolerance. Cheerz.