“Jet has been such a blessing to Jehanne and I.” That was part of the eulogy Tony Puah gave to his son, Jethro Puah. He was only 15 when he passed on after an accident at SAFRA Yishun last week.
Jethro lost his footing in a high-element activity on Wednesday and was “suspended by the safety harness in mid-air.” Jethro lost consciousness thereafter, and when he was taken to KTPH, he died a day later on Thursday.
As the white coffin was rolled into the crematorium yesterday, his loved ones witnessed the passing of a young life, full of life, full of hopes and full of faith.
According to his mum, Jehanne, she said that, “during one of their time spent together before bedtime, Jethro even asked, “Mum can I pray for you?”
She said: “How many children of Jet’s age are able to have such spiritual maturity and willingness to pray for and bless their parents?”(the full story and the touching eulogy can be found at “Salt and Light”.)
Jethro was the only child of the Puahs. Tony said that the wake was a celebration of Jethro’s life, a life that had touched many. He said: “I am so grateful to God for granting such a respectful, loving, caring and always thankful son to me. Jethro, Daddy and Mummy will miss you very, very much.”
Lesson? Alas, I kept picturing the white coffin slowly rolling into the crematorium. I guess only a father’s heart knows how that is almost mortally unbearable. It is with a heavy heart that one has to stand by and watch. My deepest condolences to Jethro’s parents, loved ones and friends.
If we as parents have a choice, if we have a say in matters like this, I am sure we would have gladly reversed the order. For what is truly inconsolable as a parent is to have to send your innocent child off this way. One would have thought that the proper and natural order ought to be for those who have lived a major portion of their life to be the ones being sent off by those who have yet to live theirs, or whose life is just blooming, entering the most exciting phrase of it.
Youth is such a precious thing, and those who have enjoyed theirs ought to take its cue to make way for those whose life still have a long and fruitful journey to go.
Yet, the choice is not ours to make. When the time comes, however short we have with our loved ones, we are never prepared to let go. The motionless coffin rolling mechanically into a place of mortal oblivion is a pain so deep no parent can just walk away without feeling an intimate and precious part of him or her being cruelly taken away without the proper notice or goodbyes.
But as Tony said, “Jet has been such a blessing to Jehanne and I...maybe it’s because we spent so much quality time and effort loving and caring for him when he was young; and so for the last few years, he blessed us with even more love and concern for both of us.”
I guess that that is the only way you love and honor a life, one you have had a hand in bringing into this world; that is, to make the time counts. While you have no say in lengthening it, you nevertheless have a say in deepening it. Quality makes up for the quantity, and that is more so in a case like Jethro when time has other temporal plans.
Alas, if we see it as something similar to Pascal's wager, I strongly feel that it is a bet no parent would ever lose if he or she lives intentionally with their child, loving him or her deeply, and spending quality time with them whenever they can (and consciously making the time to do so).
Let the years spent in intimacy and love make lighter the rolling of the coffin into the furnace because abiding memories can never be forgotten (or quenched by nature’s flame).
Let me thus end with Jethro’s favourite verse, which was shared by his father.
“Therefore since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us.”
Indeed, in the larger scheme of things, that is how one should live - “stripping off every weight that slows us down...running with endurance the race that God has set before us.”
Tony said that his beloved son has run the good race and has kept the faith. “We have lost one-third of our family equation, but I will make sure that you stay inside our hearts with the legacy that you left behind and all the great memories you gave us.”
The ultimate lesson for all of us reading this is that for those who have left us, they have no doubt left us stronger with hope and endurance bestowed to complete our own race in our life.
And for those who are running this race, we must never forget that while time may have its own plans, the time we are given with our loved ones is where we can make the deepest impact, not only to their lives when they are still around, but more importantly, to our own when they are long gone.
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