Adoption - the Woos.

 

When the Woos were told by a social worker that an unwed mother is about to give birth in two months, and they do not know the baby’s gender, and having told them that, was asked, would they be keen to adopt? They said yes immediately. That was 13 years ago. 

The Woos have one biological son. They always wanted two to three kids. Mrs Woo, 44, a marketing officer, said: “We have always felt we have the capacity and resources to have a bigger family to care for.” Her husband, 47, is a chief financial officer. 

Of course, Mr Woo needed some convincing. He said: “My kid was already eight years old by then and we were comfortable. It wasn’t an easy decision for me.”

But what tip the scale for the man of the household was this consideration: -

“When I meet my Creator - I have been blessed with so much and if I’m asked, “When you had an opportunity to change a life, why didn’t you take it?”, I wouldn’t be able to answer.”

The Woos are Christians and when they took their baby son home, Mrs Woo said: “The first time I saw him, I was just so moved with love for him. There was no doubt in my mind that I had made the right decision.”

Mr Woo said that his elder son is in love with his little brother (adopted son). “They plan to tell the younger child about his adoption as soon as he is able to comprehend it.” 

He said: “It has been awesome so far. He has been such a blessing, being so much joy and love to us.”

FYI, the Woos have tried for a second child for years and ”went through three cycles of in-vitro fertilisation unsuccessfully.”

Lesson? One. 

Well, I am glad the Woos said yes to the opportunity to change a life, and it changed their lives too, including their son’s life. 

I can imagine the blessing are mutual for them, from adopted son to their family and from their family to adopted son. From day one, they merged to become one family, that is, a synthesis of manifold blessings for a family with the capacity and resources to care for the additional bundle of joy. 

Alas, everyone is inspired by a journey of many happy endings, especially when it is a journey about building relationships with unconditional love and hope. 

Indeed, for those whose faith tells them that when they cross the liminal line of mortality, they will be held accountable for the things they have done and have not done, it just adds to their conscience one additional consideration for living a life of meaning and enduring purpose. 

As an aside, it is interesting to note the difference between meaning and purpose. I googled it, and this came up: “...meaning (logos) is how something or someone is defined, as well as an intention or reason for doing something; while purpose (telos) is the fulfillment or consummation of the meaning. One intends, the other accomplishes”.

In other words, your meaning is the “why” you do something, or the specific reason for that choice, and your purpose is to ask yourself: “What am I here for?” It is an overarching reason for living. 

By finding your purpose, you breathe meaning to your decision or choices. They do overlap in significant ways, of course, one influencing the other, but I see purpose as broader in scope and depth. 

Now, I can imagine someone defining their purpose as self-directed, that is, they are here on earth to gain the most material riches through industry and determination. Thereafter, every decision in line with that purpose brings about meaning to their life. 

For the Woos, however, the meaning is captured in the decision to adopt. Its purpose is the opportunity to change a life, to impact the life for good. As such, the purpose for them is others-directed, and that decision is meaningful to them, a blessing that is mutual no less. 

As such, meaning and purpose, when it comes to us as human beings, is premised both on the social and the metanarrative. Social is horizontal, that is, it is about building relationships, and the metanarrative is where the purpose comes in, upon which we are inspired and emboldened to fulfill that meaning. That is the case for the Woos. 

Of course, the true test of love is that it is unconditional, and I know of some parents whose child (with developmental issues) and actions have brought them to the edge of insanity and back. Their meaning and purpose were put through the fiery furnace of parenthood, and for some of them, they came out of it even stronger, with a love overcoming even the toughest trials of their life. 

Be that as it may, the Woos is right to confront their purpose in life, putting their faith in the metanarrative of “I am here on earth to take every opportunity to change a life,” and that chariot-led their decision to adopt, a choice that gave them unsurpassed meaning and joy. 

That is a lesson in parenthood we will all benefit from, and occasionally, we will need such timely reminder, in particular, when embracing our own child.