Hi
guys. Need a minute or two of your attention. Want to talk about sex or lust. I am
sure you guys are familiar with it. This is an all-boys thingy. No girls are
allowed. So let’s take off the mask. Let’s be frank. This apples to married and
unmarried folks out there. This is about those manly urges beyond our holy
purges. It is also about the spill-over hormones desperately searching outlets
and, well, inlets.
Lust is a scary thing. It makes strong men weak and weak men
weaker. It calls out to us like the Odyssey’s naked siren and the apparition of the
seductress makes automatons out of us. If there is one thing that can turn
valiant men into vicious animals, yes, that’s lust. Lust is transformative: one
time you are a gentleman and at another time you are anything but gentle.
But
the regrets come close at its heels. That’s the Achilles’ heels of lust. It
makes for orgasmic pleasure but the hangover turns us into pious sobers. For
some, that one-night-stand of under-standing can cost dearly. It can overturn
marriages, undercut passion and drown out hope. We hate ourselves for it and
morally flagellate ourselves for the many momentary pleasurable lapses. But once the deed
is done, the heat is all that is left.
So, we should give short shrift to this
hormonal tiff. We should be as vigilant
as a nervous thief looking out for the “blue” cops on the beat. This is how I
think we should go about circumcising that lusty offshoot. My take here is obscenely practical. Don’t expect any preaching or scriptural reading. I
ain’t no mufti, holy men or Catholic priest. I just want to be as unflinchingly
honest as I can be. Here goes.
First, it's the look. Every man has his trigger.
We eject at the slightest effect. So for heaven’s sake, keep those glances away
from those alluring cleavage plunges. If Venus-fly-trap comes with a name, it
is those chest-level and mid-level curves that bounce with abandonment. No disrespect
intended. But hey, if you have a weak spot for those soft spots, then avoid
them at all costs. This applies to going into cyberspace to salivate over those
sexy fishnet bait.
Remember that the first look is a choice. And that choice is
yours. You own it. It’s not difficult if you make a conscious effort.
Collaborate with time and consistency and you will achieve mind over matter.
Because if you don’t mind, it really doesn’t matter. This brings me to the
second point: the mind.
That’s your largest sex organ. Forget about that useless dangling phallus. The true puppet-controller or the Jedi-master of the erecting force is right up there. Every conceivable
image, motivation and agenda are all locked up in those neuro-rewiring. It’s a
massive mess inside and somewhere between your eyes and the half-way mark is
your yes/no button. Should you press “yes”, then a dizzy frame-rate of moving
pictures will be screened.
You are often its director, producer and casting
associate all rolled into one. It is a film deserving of a Razzie award no
doubt but for you, it’s your private home-movie with sleazy reenactments to
serve up a host of personal, self-directed pleasures and indulgences.
But this
is where you should really be its board of censorship. You have to cut it all out.
You should take full control. Throw away the junk. Slap it with an RA18 or RA21
or better still RA(lifetime) label. Say “no” to private viewing of the
balderdash of lewd content and images. Remember, you have the firm upper-hand
if you reject the lures of the itchy lower-hand. Your mind over matter is what
truly matters. You dick, I mean, you dig?
My last point is about her, yes, the
object of your lust. That office
colleague. That glamor starlet. That married but neglected wife. That poster
girl hanging by your locker. That pretty young thing in short skirt and squeaky
voice. That roadside or bar fling. That female boss of yours. They are all the same one gender: the female species.
Whether you are
married or not, that exclusive one you are now lusting after or will be lusting after when
the time comes is in reality somebody’s daughter, sister, granddaughter, girlfriend,
fiancée, wife, mother and grandmother. They have a name, a history, a
background and a story to tell. Some have a painful and haunting past. Some struggle
under an oppressive environment. Others have their hurts locked within them and
are crying for help.
Yet, all of them are beautiful souls that deserve to live,
to love, to nurture life within, to mother their children, to grow old in
peace, to savor life in full, and to die fulfilled. They are human beings just
like you and me and not your lusting objects. If you reduce them to bouncing cleavages,
skinny long legs, hot thighs, curvy buttocks, pouting lips, sensual long hair
and inviting poses, then you are obviously not getting the whole picture.
It is
like investing in shares without studying the prospectus or driving while
focusing only on your rear-view mirror. These are clearly superficials and you are insulting your own daughter, wife, mother
and grandmother by lusting after them. If you take the manicured time to see them as
individuals with hopes, dreams, pains, tears, longings, fears and aspirations -
rather than just the opposite sex with a receiving receptacle for your unthinking extendable – then you will come to realize that there is a definite beauty in
them that is redeeming in you.
In fact, you will start to see them as no
different from your own sister, daughter and mother. If lust destroys life,
then love, understanding and respect enrich it. They deserve to see the humanity
in you and to trust that this humanity will protect them and not take advantage
of them – whether in thoughts, wet dreams or un-chivalrous actions.
So, I will
end here. Lust is still a scary thing. But what is most empowering for you guys
is to turn that lust into respect, to show that you care, and to treat the opposite
sex less of the “opposite” and more
of your very own to love, to treasure and to shield from harm. Cheerz.
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