Will
efficiency finally kill us? Wait, let me be fair.
Let's define it. Efficiency in this context is doing all things better, faster,
cheaper (or less costly). It means completing your work in half the time it
normally takes and thereby leaving more time for personal pleasure or
diversion. It also means getting the maximum value for your investments. Since
we are at value, it also means striving for maximum profit in all commercial
endeavors. It all boils down to securing the best
quality at the best price in
the best time via whatever means that is the best. In a nutshell, efficiency is
an attitude of excellence which meets the deadline, delivers the results, and
fulfills the promise. A fine specimen of an efficient person is that he is
wealthy, academically accomplished, confident, and a goal-getter. He basically
plans to succeed and upon succeeding, he plans for more successes.
So, if efficiency is all that, how is
that bad? Or how does it end up killing us? Not so
fast. Here's the catch.
Maybe "kill" is an overkill. Let me dumb it down a notch to
"dehumanize". Now, will
efficiency dehumanize us then? No doubt efficiency is highly
treasured and prized in this market-driven, profits-maximizing modern world.
Unfortunately, it is also highly overrated. My fear is that we have idolized the
idea of efficiency. And by doing so, we have measured all our endeavors against
it.
You see, I can imagine an efficient
worker. He is someone who excels in his
work. He gets things done and is also
improving as he goes along. I can also imagine an efficient doctor who performs
surgery with great success and an efficient businessman who increases the
profit margin for the shareholders. But I find the idea of an
efficient spouse or an efficient parent or an efficient friend a little
disconcerting. Maybe it’s just me?
Personally, I can't reconcile efficiency
as man’s quest for perfection and the imperfection of man as a whole. Let me
stretch the example a little. Imagine that I am engaged in a heated argument
with my wife. Then, I tell her to be more efficient with her emotions (please bear with me on this). I tell her
to maximize her rationality and to minimize her runaway emotions. I further
tell her to calm down in the fastest time possible so that she can arrive at the
stage of personal reflection, openness and possibly remorse for the dumb things
she had said to me (her all efficient hubby) in a fit of anger.
Then, I put her on the clock and time
her to see how long she
takes to reach the nirvana of emotional peace and
compare her current timing with her previous timing. And should she beat her previous
timing, I give her a pat on the back and praise her for being such an efficient
wife. After that, we give each other a firm handshake and a methodological hug
and proceed to make love most procedurally at the fastest optimal time possible
in order to derive the greatest pleasure from the act, and then we return to
our
respective home cubicle. Yes, I
know...my wife would kill me even before I could time her and say
"go".
Here comes my point. I trust that
some things in life is out-of-bound for efficiency. My boss would no doubt want
me to be efficient to contribute to his company’s profitability. The government
would want her workforce to be efficient to compete internationally. But when
it comes to love, to trust, to relationship, to parenting and to friendship, I
shudder at the hint (or expectation) of efficiency. How
do you love your wife
efficiently with all your flaws (and hers) except to love her the best way you
know how, and that is, sacrificially or selflessly?
What benchmark do you use to ensure
that your wife stays efficient in the long run...erm...by comparing her with
other "more efficient wives"
after taking into account age, social status and personality differences?
(Believe you me, I’ve tried that and I got myself into deeper shit. There is in
fact one thing that surpasses any lesson you will ever learn about being
efficient and that is to
never, not even if hell freezes over, compare a woman
with another; unless that other woman happens to be Mother Teresa of course).
How
about friendship? Well if friendship is about
accepting each other for who they are, flaws and all, then you can flush efficiency
down the loo. If nobody is perfect, then don't even expect your friends to come
close to being efficient all the time. We love and enjoy them for who they are,
especially close friends, and we don't do a cost-and-benefit analysis every
time
we meet up. Their convivial company is enough for us and we don’t need
them to measure up to some touchstone of efficiency.
How
about our children? Now here’s the tricky bit.
Academically, we want the best for them. But the truth is, not everyone of them
will be academically inclined. At most times, it is best to just let them be
and let them grow at their own pace. Taking an efficiency yardstick to make
sure they measure up is often more frustrating than fruitful. It may even
backfire and we end up jeopardizing the long term parent-and-child
relationship. Todate, I still hold this unrealistic expectation that my son’s
maturity would somehow be accelerated. On many occasions, I even wanted to
hurry the maturity process along by immersing him in my home library and exposing
him to great works of non-fiction written by intellectual giants of our time. Imagine
my disillusionment. Imagine my stupidity. I
only have myself to blame…100%.
So, efficiency is a scary thing when
we apply it universally, that is, across the board. We would no doubt want our
lawyers and accountants to be efficient; even our government. But when it comes
to long term relationships, people whom we live with for life and love
unconditionally, I think we can take the heat off and just live and let live. I
guess in the end, the beauty of our flaws is that it is a good reminder that we
are all work in progress. And in this personal journey of progress, the
destination without exception ends at our gravestone. Cheerz.
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