I dreamt I
took a walk with God. It was a slow walk, a stroll. It was a walk to nowhere.
He was unusually quiet. He did not make a sound. I tried to look at his face
but something restrained me. All I could see was things around me. Initially, I
saw the beauty of nature. The landscape of mountains. The cool endless breeze.
The ocean and the streams and the placid rivers. I also saw the royal expanse
of the sky above. It was an awe-consuming sight. I was soaking it all in.
Then things
turned a little dark. I felt something amiss. God was not the least ruffled. He
was as calm as a rock. He kept his composure. But I was getting nervous, really
worried. I knew I would be safe with him, the Creator of the universe. Yet, I
was feeling the foreboding closing in.
Then, I heard
a scream. It was a sharp piercing one. It was at this time that I witnessed my
first tragedy. My heart raced. I saw a gang rape. My peace was shattered. She
was young, no more than ten. It was somewhere in a remote village in South Africa
I think. The girl was tasked to fetch water for her sisters back to the village
where they lived. They were all starving, dying of thirst. The girl had no
choice. She drew the shortest end of stick. She had to go out.
The men were
young. A group of six at least. They didn’t look like they knew what they were
doing. They had no hesitation, no visible guilt registered. It was getting dark
and they each took their turn with her. Each of them eagerly waiting for the
next one to end, impatient even. Lust paid no heed to anything else. Strangely,
she did not beg or plead with them. She just screamed, high-pitch. And it was heartrending.
I saw
splatters of blood and a frantic struggle for life. It lasted for what seemed
like hours. The contrast was deplorable beyond words. On one side was violence
personified. On the other was innocence ravaged. It was life viciously drawing out life from a helpless life. I couldn’t understand the barbarity. I was
speechless; yet I couldn’t do anything. I tried to reach out to her but again I was
restrained. It was as if it was not meant to be for me. My will was ring-fenced
somehow, straitjacketed.
I then turned
to God, stupefied and stunned. I couldn’t understand God’s silence. He didn’t
even take a look. He just walked on. He was not the least troubled. Unlike me,
God was unmoved. Though he was not in a hurry, he was nevertheless stoic. He
just walked by.
The scene changed after that. Before me, I saw a beaming horizon.
A silhouette of dispersing light. The
night turned into day. As dawn broke, we kept walking. It was a walk to nowhere.
I dared not ask. God didn’t seem to be interested to talk.
My mind was
still on that little girl. Her life so
young was destroyed. Though we had covered much distance, my heart stayed
at the exact spot where the girl met her fate. I even felt a tear or two
streaming down my cheek.
It was at
this time that something distracted me. The scene around me changed in a wink
of an eye. What unfolded was a mother holding on to her precious baby in the delivery ward. The mother was overwhelmed. She was crying. The baby was
surrounded by loved ones and they were all rejoicing. They were laughing,
celebrating and even dancing. The joy was infectious. I smiled a little. I
could feel God was smiling too.
Then, time
sped up. The clock on the wall went wild, oscillating nonstop. The
juxtaposition between passing time and the growth of the child was almost
comical. As time flew, literally, the baby boy grew up fast. His was a family
of enduring love and happiness. It was like watching a wonderful blessing
blooming before me in real time. I was deeply inspired. I wished that this
could go on forever.
God and I
were still walking but somehow the walk appeared to slow down a little. It slowed down to allow me to see how the boy
became a teenager, a young adult and a man and then he got married. I saw the
wedding. It was glorious. The crowd of witnesses. The tears in the parents’
faces. The confession of love. The exchange of vows, the heartwarming embrace
and the mutual kiss that sealed a lifetime together, forever. For a moment, my heart returned to me. From where it was
earlier, it returned. I was quite settled, resolved. I could sense that God was
pleased too. I know this because I could sense a warm glow from him. It was a
glow that assures you, comforting and empowering even.
In a glance,
the wedding was over. It was the honeymoon now. I guess the lovely couple went
on a world tour. I saw images of many places around the world, exotic locations,
to-die-for sceneries. They were very happy and very much in love. I was even
envious. Then, the scene changed again, just abruptly as before. Alas, I sensed
that same ominous feeling creeping in.
This time, I
forced myself to look at God’s face. I wanted his response to my premonition. But
I couldn’t see anything except darkness, complete immersion in blackness. A
shrilling shattered the silence. A phone call and a hello and everything
stilled. Dead calm. God was still
around. I could sense him. But he was again silent. It was becoming a rather familiar
trait of his. Then, I heard sobbing. It
grew louder, louder still. I saw the
parents on their bed, hugging each other, crying like a baby. Their faces
contorted with sorrow that broke me down too. I cried with them knowing the
worst had happened.
I saw the
phone hanging by their bed. It was a call from the police reporting about a
car-crash. I didn’t need to know anything further. I knew who were the victims.
I knew what happened. Apparently a lorry driven by a drunk driver beat the red
light and smashed into their car. The lovely couple were dead, instantly. Just like that. They died in a car
crash. Their precious young lives shattered in a moment. Their future ended
even before it had a chance to start.
I went into
another shock, jaw-dropped. I was angry now. I shouted at God. I shook with
apoplectic rage. WHY? I yelled. You knew it all along right? I exploded. Surprisingly,
God stopped walking. His brisk steps ended, dead at its tracks. He reached out for my hands and held
them. I could feel his touch, his hands. It was a firm grip no less. I also felt
a strange tingle, a warm quiver. Then,
we vanished, literally. There and
then, we were no more. I lost all awareness for a while. The next
scene was Calvary. God took me back
in time. 2000 years to be exact.
I saw the
Cross. I saw a man hung, taunted mercilessly. I saw everything. The bloody
nails. The bloody crown of thorns. The bloody back. The bloody Cross. I saw the
tears. I saw the pain. I saw the suffering. It was heartbreaking beyond words. I
was speechless again. There and then, hung,
was my savior. He was the Christ. My helpless redeemer. The tortured messiah. He
was also God’s only son. And God turned away. He did nothing. Not a thing. He just walked by. But this
was one mind-numbing tragedy I quietly followed him in lockstep. We just walked
away.
Strangely, God led me back to the future and we returned to the first tragedy I had witnessed. This
time it was different. This time he did not walk
away. This time, he intervened. He immobilized the young rapists, rescued the little girl and returned
her to her sisters. I was encouraged by the sight. I was thankful to God.
Next, God
stood in the middle of the traffic junction. It was a familiar scene to me. He
was waiting and I was watching, eagerly.
Like clockwork, the lorry came with a mission to perdition. Everything happened
so fast. God redirected the lorry, away from harm’s way. He saved the young
couple. They didn’t even realize that God had saved them. I have to admit that
I was relieved, smiling even. I then held on to God’s hand and squeezed it. I was proud of him.
After that, in a snap of time, we returned to Calvary. I saw Jesus, dying.
This time, God did not hesitate. There was no warning. He walked towards the Cross. He drew near to the crowd hollering for his son’s blood. I saw the same resolve when he saved the girl and the young couple. God raised his hands with
determination and wanted to end the suffering, the grave travesty. He wanted
more than anything to save his own son. But something shook me hard and I
shouted at him. I shouted at God. I cried out. WAIT!
Instantly,
there was total blackout. Silence returned. I was all alone now. I searched for
God. Worried. Then, a distant glow
appeared. It was God - I knew that by
heart. But he was leaving me. He had to go. I then managed to catch a
glimpse of the lover of my soul. I noticed a tear streaming down from his face.
The tear met with his reassuring smile.. Before he left, God whispered to me. He
said softly, “My son did not die in vain.
No one who lives for me dies in vain.” And then I woke up, stunned. Cheerz.
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