17 ways we are more sure than not that we have
fashioned God in our own image:-
1) When god hates the same people we hate and
loves the same people we love.
2) When god uncannily endorses every biblical
exegesis, dreams and vision that we come up with.
3) When god reveals self-serving revelation to
us to the exclusion of all.
4) When god bends over backward to bless our
pet project and shows unreserved wrath against project we happen to find not
god pleasing.
5) When god somehow gives us the peace that
surpasses all understanding when we condemn a particular group of sinners to
hell and blame them for the cause of wars, epidemic, natural disasters and
global warming.
6) When god tells us exactly when his second
coming will be, and if that date should come and go uneventfully, to remind us
that it is about the season and not the exact date - but that somehow never stops him
from telling us the exact date at a later date.
7) When god wants us to be rich through the financial
sacrifices of our congregation without sacrificing too much financially on our
part.
8) When god's grace forgives everything without
any need to seek repentance ever or at all.
9) When we believe that when god saves us, we
are deemed always saved, and even when we hypothetically die a staunch atheist,
we still insist that we are saved by default or whether we like it or not.
10) When god takes us on an exclusive tour to
hell often and tells us to spread the message of eternal condemnation to all
unbelievers to instill fear and
panic in them.
11) When we know for sure the will of god even
before his will is revealed and when the same is revealed via whatever
convenient personal means, it happens to coincide perfectly with what we have
always wanted to do in the first place.
12) When god apologizes to us for the heresy
that we are so sure is right.
13) When we claim we have the
favor of the lord
when we disown our son for being gay and hope that he will rot in hell for his
sins.
14) When we are so sure that god has
predestined us for eternal salvation even before our coming into existence; and
to be hair-splittingly specific, we ineluctably believe we are personally
elected and unconsciously judge those against us as not being so elected.
15) When god wants us to be prosperous at all
costs, and if we
are not, the only reason is that we have not believed in him enough.
16) When god promises to answer our prayer
without exception and it is never a question of "will he?" but a question of "when".
17) When our succession plan is about electing a successor
we claim has found favor with God when it is more often than not that our
successor has found favor more with us than with god. Cheerz.
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