They dated for 10 years mostly on a long distance relationship. He’s Singaporean. She’s a Thai national. He’s 32. She’s 31. Her mother was a diplomat and his father a shipping manager. They tied the knot in 2019.
The husband, Jeremy Lim, said: “Marrying Parada was one of the best decisions in my life.” And theirs is not the usual walk down the aisle.
They met “as high school students in an international school in Nairobi, the capital of Kenya, but became a couple only after they graduated from the school and while living in different countries.” (reports Theresa Tan and Goh Yan Han).
Parada Sritaragul is a high flyer, academic wise. She holds a masters in Communication Science from University of Vienna, Austria, and was also offered the chance to do a PhD at the University of Vienna. Jeremy has a degree from UniSIM.
But Jeremy told her that the PhD course would have taken about five years and he said: “I wouldn’t deny her all the things she wanted to do but I told her we are getting older.”
Jeremy then threw in the love bait, so to speak. “I asked her if she would come to Singapore to live for one year.” She did, and one year later, they signed on the dotted marital line.
Parada said: “We had been together for so long. And it’s really hard to find someone who understands me and who I can have a good conversation with. Jeremy really put in a lot of effort to keep our relationship alive.”
Lesson? Well, I wish them well. I pray that their marriage will not be just about the honeymoon, but also about how they will come together even stronger and deeper in love when confronting the dark side of that so-called honeymoon. Because a lifetime union is not always a bed of roses. The thorns prick too, especially when you least expect it, for longer than you expect it.
In their story of love, there is a part that caught my attention. “When people around Thai national Parada Sritaragul learnt that she was marrying a Singaporean church worker, they asked if she was bothered that he earned less than her.”
“They even told Ms Sritaragul...an account manager at a marketing communications agency in Singapore, that she could probably find a better match than her husband.”
This is what Parada said: “In Thai culture, the husband is supposed to earn more than the wife. And many Thais feel that when you marry a foreigner, he is really rich.”
“They always say I can do better than Jeremy. I say I can make my own living. I did not marry for money.”
I like the part when she said “I make my own living. I did not marry for money.” There is some truth there. Love bridges the gap right?
At this juncture, I wonder, if I should pen a short letter about how I should advise young married couples on this journey to a union of one soul, body and mind, what would it be?
Off the top of my head, I can only think of one word, reality. Here’s how I would scribe it.
“Dear whoever’s reading this, Congrats, you guys made it! It is a day you have been waiting for, for the most part of your early developing years on earth at least. I can imagine my daughter (or son) walking down that same aisle and I too feel the joy in my heart, for them and for you.
Marriage is indeed a milestone in a person’s life. It is one’s endearing idea of an ideal coming into reality. That wedding night is where that ideal fully blooms. It is meant to be unforgettable. It was designed that way.
Yet, in a society with one of the highest costs of living and one that is highly competitive, marriage has to face facts too. Unless you have regular stable support from your parents, you guys have to stand on your own two feet.
And when the kids come, you have to anchor that footing to weather the perfect storm of parenthood, career and finances. That’s the dark side of the moon for you.
Love often comes in here. It is a bond with a history and a future, depending on how realistic you guys are. Pls note that idealism without reality is flighty, and reality without idealism is weighty. You want the best and balance of both to make it through the marital rain.
And the meteorological reading in this uncharted landscape is that it will come, and mind you, not always in the form of showers of blessings. So, brace yourself for some occasional heavy drenching.
As I said before, love is the bridge. It ought to bridge the gap. It’s your first port of call. Nothing else can take her place. Not power, fame or money. For even if you marry into unimaginable wealth, a smooth union is no guarantee. Look at Prince Harry and Princess Markle, and I am sure you get the drift.
Love is really what you make out of it. The light of love is that first promise to keep, and as long as you fight to keep that promise, and put it first at all times, you will find the path to walk together that will lead you to a lifetime of marital maturity and growth.
Alas, that may sound idealistic, but trust me, keeping that first promise is going to test you to the core. It’s no academic test. It is the exam of a lifetime. That’s also where idealism rubber meets the reality road.
So yes, reality is what’s needed to add salt to the years and light to the road. And at times, after some time, you will find yourself in a valley all alone, indulging in second and third thoughts. That’s only human, and marriage doesn’t make you less so.
But pls don’t underestimate such valley moments, or misread them. They carry the message that love is demanding of you. She is asking you to shed the naivety, grow up and renew the commitment. If marriage has one definition, it would be to guard and protect that first promise against all temptations, distractions and disillusionment. Recall idealism without reality is flighty?
Ok, I will end here. In a short letter, I can’t cover everything. No matter how you read it, it is still words, in digital print. But the marriage vows are words too, confessed no less. Yet, I recall that in some beginning of time, a word became flesh and lived amongst us. I think that is where idealism comes alive, that is, when it is enfleshed and live the spirit of love out in full, over time, for all time.
I thus wish exactly that in your marital journey. A journey where love not only bridges the gap, shines the light, but also opens doors for resilience, reconciliation and renewal to bloom.
Signed off,
Mike.”
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