A Pledge to Disown Myself

Recently, I was in the toilet and a thought took hold. It went like this, “Why is that person so dumb? Aren’t I smarter than him?” It was at that moment that I was dumbstruck. I stared blankly into the mirror and told myself off, literally, “I disown you!” It was a knee-jerk reaction. I revolted against that thought and wanted to have no part of it. Then I recalled in Mark 9:47 when Jesus told us to pluck our offending eye out because it is better to go to heaven half blind than to go to hell with both eyes seeing (Mm...wouldn’t heaven then be flat or two-dimensional?)

Well, here's my variation of that scripture. I assume that there are some sins (listed below) that require full body amputation in order to secure a safe passage to heaven. So, instead of removing the offending part (and going to heaven without much of a body), I have decided to do the next best thing, that is, to disown myself (like I did in the toilet). That way, I can still go to heaven with my body intact. The drawback is that I might have to live with a dual personality in heaven, each of me contesting for attention for as long as an eternity. Mm...that’s the price of heaven I guess. So, here goes...

A PLEDGE TO DISOWN MYSELF

I PLEDGE to disown myself the moment I think I am better or smarter than another. When I harbor such superiority complex, I would have failed to live up to what it means to be a fellow human being. I would have lost my bearings and the humility that keeps me grounded. Therefore I shall disown myself when that time comes for I'd rather be a stranger to myself than to live my life being a stranger to the principles that define what it means to be a human being.

I PLEDGE to disown myself the moment I think I have arrived in knowledge and there is nothing for me to learn anymore. When that day comes, I would have lost myself in the maze of self-delusion. It would be a day when I look into the mirror and find an image that I would not be able to recognize. I would be deprived of the life-sustaining opportunity to explore, to seek, to find and to unravel. I believe that to live is to learn and to stop learning is to start dying. Therefore I shall disown myself when that time comes for I'd rather be a stranger to myself than to live my life being a stranger to an endless world of knowledge waiting to be discovered.

I PLEDGE to disown myself the moment I think that this world is all there is, all there has been and all there will ever be. When that day comes, I would have ceased to look for the wonders in a rainbow, the depth of an emotion, the mystery of creation, and the hope of a life after this life. It would be a life of sterile imagination because science have replaced religion by a leap of scholarly self-conceit. Therefore I shall disown myself when that time comes for I'd rather be a stranger to myself than to live my life being a stranger to the unspoken secrets of the universe untainted by the hubris of this world.

I PLEDGE to disown myself the moment I think that fame and wealth take precedence over relationship and faith. When that day comes, I would find my soul diminished by the cravings of the flesh, the pride of life and the sway of greed. By then, I would no longer live for others and put their needs before mine. I would become a person who treats every relationship as a transaction to be exploited. It would be a life of ceaseless competition, constant rivalries, and superficial engagement. Therefore I shall disown myself when that time comes for I'd rather be a stranger to myself than to be a stranger to a life dedicated to flourishing relationship and deepening faith.

I PLEDGE to disown myself the moment I look elsewhere to find satisfaction in companionship rather than to seek the same in my marriage. When that time comes, I would be living without morals and betraying the one person I have pledged my whole life till death to be with - in good times or bad. I would then always be held hostage by the dictates of my lust and the ransom paid for it is to live a shallow life of regrets, drifting from one indiscretion to another, and never be able to look into the eyes of my children to tell them that faithfulness is the key to a happy marriage. Therefore I shall disown myself when that time comes for I'd rather be a stranger to myself than to live my life being a stranger to the enduring joy that comes from a resilent and fruitful marriage.

I PLEDGE to disown myself the moment I give up on life for whatever reasons. When that time comes, I would have nothing to look forward to. My tomorrow would be no different from my today. When everyday is the same as the day before and the day after it, the life that I have given up on would be indistinguishable from a life sentence to death. And if the death of a life is not the only end of a life, then the other death I can think of is to go on merely existing after I have given it all up. Therefore I shall disown myself when that time comes for I'd rather be a stranger to myself than to be a stranger to living a life the way it was meant to be lived notwithstanding the failures and mistakes. Because without them, I would never experience the growth and empowerment that comes from a life of overcoming. Cheerz.

* Image taken from "davidsills.blogspot.com."