The story of faith

Some time ago, I read an inspiring true story of Thomas and Marilyn Rose. They are the founders of Waymaker Ministries and the couple travel to many parts of the world, including West Africa, to bring the message of hope to the lost. Their story is captured in their book entitled The Valley of Decision – What do you do when the Trials of life Overwhelm you? Here are the three trials of the Rose family.

The First Trial

The Rose family had three lovely children, namely, Ben, Lacey and Rachel. They were a typical American family. Tom was doing well selling business signs when he experienced some discomfort in his chest. He then decided to go for a routine medical checkup.

When the results came out, Tom was devastated. Doctor told him that he had congestive heart failure. This was how Tom wrote about it, “After a battery of tests the doctors concluded that my body was a mess. They said my kidneys had shut down, which was the reason for my weight being high. Through the use of diuretics, they took thirty pounds of water off me in about ten days. My liver was inflamed and swollen, which accounted for the yellowish color of my skin. My lungs had filled with fluid, and my heart had enlarged. Last of all, my thyroid was barely functioning.”  Despite this, there was a silver lining. With proper medication, the doctor assured Tom that his body should recover.

But over time, he suffered several heart failures. During one of the visits, the doctors delivered this news to Tom, “Mr Rose, I am sorry to tell you, but there is no hope for you outside of a heart transplant. Some sort of virus has attacked your body. We have not been able to determine what the virus is. It might have been something you contracted recently, or it quite possibly could have been a virus you picked up overseas in Vietnam.” It was at this time that Tom recalled that he had served in the military in Vietnam for six years in 1971. The doctor then continued, “At the present time, your heart is only contracting at 15% of normal capacity. There isn’t a thing we can do for you except attempt to give you a new heart.”

All of a sudden, the fragility of his mortality flashed before him. He knew that he might not live long enough to see his children’s graduation or walk them down the aisle in marriage or carry his grandchildren in his arms. But, Tom remained strong for them, and cited Psalms to keep hope afloat, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.” Tom kept his spirits up until the next trial came along. It would be a trial that would test his faith in God to the core.

The Second Trial

The second trial came in a forceful whirling of a helicopter. Tom heard the helicopter flying over his house when seconds later, the phone rang. It was Tom's mother calling. She called to tell Tom of a terrible accident nearby.

Before this call, Tom had allowed his sister to drive his two children, Ben and Lacey, to the skating rink. On their way there, they met with a horrible accident that required them to be airlifted to a nearby hospital. In fact, Ben was pinned in the car and the paramedics took over an hour to cut him out.

In the hospital, Tom, Marilyn and their family members prayed for their children. They waited feverishly as the team of doctors operated on them. At that time of the accident, Ben was only 9 and his sister, Lacey, 12.

Hours passed and the doctor came out of surgery and approached Marilyn, “Mrs Rose, I am afraid your son is brain dead. He has been for some time.” The news floored Marilyn. Her whole life fell apart. She wept uncontrollably. Tom also wept with her.

However, the doctor did not stop there. He made this seemingly ill-timed request, “I know this is hard for you, but a representative from Trans-life is here if you would like to consider donating Benjamin’s organ.” In the book, this was Tom’s reply, “I agree to donate Benny’s organs. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done; yet I can truly say I am glad I did. Weeks later when I needed encouragement, a letter came from Trans-life, which told us a thirteen-year-old girl was alive and doing well after receiving Ben’s heart. In addition to that, an eighteen-month-old baby girl had received his liver. Finally, a fifty-year-old man and fifty-one-year-old woman were now off dialysis because of his kidneys.”

Amidst the painful trials, Tom and Marilyn received some comforting news about Lacey, the other victim of the accident. Two weeks after they had lost Ben, the doctors told them that Lacey was off the respirator and she was going to recover. But the joy was short-lived as this was to be the family's third and final Trial.

The Third Trial

The next morning, they received a call from the hospital and were told that Lacey had suffered a massive heart attack. The doctor admitted that the heart attack was caused by an injection to slow her heart down. But the effect of the medication caused her little heart to stop completely. The hospital staff then rushed to revive her. The days that followed would result in the death of their precious little princess.

“As the days wore on, Lacey’s condition worsened," Tom recalled. "The devastation caused by this condition is beyond description. Ten days after that call to return to the hospital, Lacey, swollen beyond recognition, went home to be with the Lord. It was a slow, agonizing death. The doctors who had worked so hard trying to save her was devastated…I saw him sit on the floor at Marilyn’s feet, tears streaming down his face.”

A rose trampled

In one seemingly random, cruel act of nature so blind and unapologetic, everything that gave meaning and hope to Tom’s life was taken from him. At ground zero, Tom cried out, “It seemed as though Marilyn and I had come to the end of our rope. Over the past several months, we had lost our business. Because we could not pay the rent, we were being asked to vacate our home. I had lost my health, and now we had lost two of our three children. There did not seem to be one aspect of our lives that had not been devastated. It was at this point that we began to ask ourselves the question, “Does God really love us?”

Trial of Trials

The story of the Rose family has kept me thinking about how life could turn out so unimaginably tragic for some people. No amount of explanation can satisfactorily explain why terrible things happen to the most innocent and undeserving of us all. Many will attempt to present a theory of our suffering. Many will want to distinguish themselves by making sense of the sorrow and pain. But there is apparently no answer other than the answer that there is no answer. This is most difficult for some to accept. Here, Romans 12:15 is instructive, “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”

Indeed we can only weep with those who weep. During such time, a heart of quiet contemplation speaks volumes. A family therapist, Daniel Gottlieb, who had his share of life’s problems, once wrote these words in his touching book, Letters to Sam, “When I am in a dark tunnel, I want to be with people who love me enough to sit in the darkness with me and not stand outside telling me how to get out. I think that’s what we all want. When you are hurt, be close to people who love you and who tolerate your pain without passing judgment or giving you advice. As time passes, you will long less for what you had yesterday and experience more of what you have today.”

Daniel is no stranger to suffering. In his fifth year of marriage, his wife contracted cancer and the disease tested his marriage and finances. Five years later, another tragedy was to follow. In Letters to Sam, he recounted “…shortly before our tenth wedding anniversary, I was on the thruway, driving out to my uncle’s house to pick up a new car – an anniversary surprise. Only later would I learn what had happened. A hundred-pound wheel flew off an oncoming tractor-trailer, bounced across the road, and landed on the roof of my car. I heard nothing – saw nothing. My neck was broken, the spinal cord severed between my fifth and sixth cervical vertebrae. I could still talk. I had feeling in my face and shoulders. I was alive, and I was a quadriplegic.”

Like a chain of pearls, trials come in spades. When Daniel’s grandson, Sam, was born, he had PDD, that is, pervasive developmental disorder. The seriousness of Sam’s condition prompted Dr Gottlieb to compile a series of touching letters written especially for his grandson. In one of them, he wrote, “Sam, you are the product of the great love that two wounded souls have found. I love you every moment of every day. And I love you for the joy you have brought to my daughter…Sam, I want you to know that being different is not a problem. It’s just being different. But feeling different is a problem. When you feel different, the feeling can actually change the way you see the world.”

The healing of a broken heart

Let’s go back to the testimony of Tom and Marilyn Rose. After the car accident, and after they had lost their house and savings, a miracle of a different nature took place. The people who came to know about their story were greatly inspired by their unwavering trust in God Their friends came together and provided them a home. Lives were changed as Tom and Marilyn were able to minister to others with the understanding and wisdom that they had gained through experiencing their own pain.

In addition, Tom and Marilyn experienced the miracle of a changed life. They chose to forgive the drunk driver who had caused the accident and the hospital staff who had mistakenly administered Lacey the medicine which led to her demise. They waived their right to claim for compensation, thereby decommissioning their lawyers. In turn, God healed Tom of his heart condition and gave him a new lease of life.

I shall close here with Tom’s own heartfelt words, “At one time my heart worked at half of its capacity, and I was a happy man. After the first heart failure, my heart was at 30 percent, but I could still say I was a happy man. It was when I lost my children my heart was broken.

To me, the greatest miracle was not the healing of my physical heart. It was when Jesus mended our broken hearts. Besides our salvation, this is the greatest miracle of all. I know I will never see my son graduate from the Air Force Academy, which was his dream. I will never see Lacey become a large animal veterinarian and train horses, which was her dream. There is, however, one thing I have seen – our children in the arms of a loving Savior.

I still miss them – and I will until that day we are together again – yet Jesus has given me beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that I might be called a tree of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.” Cheerz.