Why can't pastors be rich?

Some inspirational teachings from the prosperity preachers.

Joel Osteen, “Conceive it on the inside. Start seeing yourself rising to a new level, doing something of significance, living in that home of your dreams.”

John Hagee, “Christ took your poverty on the cross and He gave you the riches of Abraham.”

Televangelist Frederick K.C. Price, “The Bible says that He has left us an example that we should follow in His steps. That’s why I drive a Rolls Royce. I’m following in Jesus’ steps.”

Gloria Copeland, “Give one house and receive one hundred houses or one house worth one hundred times as much. Give one airplane and receive one hundred times the value of the airplane. Give one car and the return would furnish you a lifetime of cars. In short, Mark 10:30 is a very good deal.”

Joyce Meyer, “The word receiving means receipting…when you give you get a receipt in heaven…when you have a need you can then go with your receipt and say, “You see, God, I have got my receipt from my sowing, and now I have a need, and I’m cashing in my receipt.””

Here’s my tribute to these peachy prosperity preachers.

Why can’t pastors be rich?

Why can’t we give them a break?

Why are our hearts so besieged?

With a million or two they make.

I know the Bible warned us against greed.

The richer one gets, the more one should take heed.

But why can’t we trust them to be discreet?

With a mansion, a private pool and a really cool jeep?

An MP once lament,

“Christians believe in the prophets,

Peace be unto them.

Bush believes in the profits,

And how to get a piece of them.”

Now isn’t that just being petty?

When we ourselves feel crappy.

Cos we are not close to our daddy.

To be healthy, wealthy and happy.

If we serve a god of this universe,

Who made the heavens and the earth.

Can’t we expect His servants to be well off?

Without ourselves being so peeved off?

Doesn’t it all make good sense?

When our pastors are rolling in dough.

Then their sermons will be enhanced.

For you cannot reap what you didn’t sow.

So we’ve got a lot to learn,

From joel osteen and friends.

They can teach us how to turn,

Faith into fortune with our bare hands.

Indeed, osteen’s god is most able.

To put riches on believer’s table.

Wired to us hot via heavenly cable.

For our relish and earthly savor.

All it takes is to faithfully believe,

That our god is truly surely big.

And when he showers financial relief,

We will all be buried in it real deep.

I think the logic here is infallible.

When we believe the impossible.

We will be blessed a hundred fold.

Press, shaken, running over, as foretold.

But of course don’t be naïve.

We can’t reap what we don’t give.

So remember for as long as we live.

Just give and give as there’s no what if.

PS: If on earth we are not duly enriched,

At least in heaven, we will all be well hitched.

Cheerz.